SCENE.—ARoomintheInn.(TwoWaitersdisputing.)

scene.—aroomintheinn.(twowaitersdisputing.)

firstwaiter

sirharbottlehammond,youmaydependuponit.

secondwaiter

sirhardyhardcastle,itellyou.

firstwaiter

thehammondsofhuntingdonshire.

secondwaiter

thehardcastlesofhertfordshire.

firstwaiter

thehammonds.

secondwaiter

don'ttellme:doesnothardcastlebeginwithanh?

firstwaiter

sodoeshammondforthatmatter.

secondwaiterfaith,soitdoesifyougotospellit.ididnotthinkofthat.ibegintobeofyouropinion;heiscertainlyahammond.

firstwaiter

herecomessusanchambermaid,maybeshecantell.

entersusan.

both

well,susan,haveyouheardanythingwhothestrangegentlemanis?

susanhaven'tyouheard?it'sallcomeout;mrs.guesswell,theparson'swidow,hasbeenhereaboutit.ioverheardhertalkinginconfidencetomrs.setterandmrs.pointer,andshesays,theywereholdingasortofcummittyaboutit.

both

what?what?

susantherecan'tbeadoubtofit,shesays,whatfromerandtheappearancehecuts,andhissumpshouswayofliving,andaboveallfromtheremarkablecircumstancethathissurnameshouldbeginwithanh.,thathemustbe—

both

well,well—

susan

neithermorenorlessthantheprince.

both

prince!

susan

theprinceofhessy-casselindisguise.

both

verylikely,verylikely.

susan

oh,therecan'tbeadoubtonit.mrs.guesswellsayssheknowsit.

firstwaiternowifwecouldbesurethattheprinceofhessywhat-do-you-call-himwasinenglandonhistravels.

secondwaiter

getanewspaper.lookinthenewspapers.

susan

fiddleofthenewspapers,whoelsecanitbe?

both

thatisverytrue(gravely).

enterlandlord.

landlordhere,susan,james,philip,whereareyouall?thelondoncoachiscomein,andthereismr.fillaside,thefatpassenger,hasbeenbawlingforsomebodytohelphimoffwithhisboots.(thechambermaidandwaitersslipout.)

(solus.)thehouseisturnedupsidedownsincethestrangegentlemancameintoit.nothingbutguessingandspeculating,andspeculatingandguessing;waitersandchambermaidsgettingintocornersandspeculating,ostlersandstable-boysspeculatingintheyard,ibelievetheveryhorsesinthestablearespeculatingtoo,fortheretheystandinamusingposture,nothingforthemtoeat,andnotseemingtocarewhetherthayhaveanythingorno;andafterallwhatdoesitsignify?ihatesuchcurious—odso,imusttakethisboxupintohisbed-room—hechargedmetoseetoitmyself—ihatesuchinquisitive—iwonderwhatisinit,itfeelsheavy(reads)"leases,titledeeds,wills."herenowamanmightsatisfyhiscuriosityatonce.deedsmusthavenamestothem,somustleasesandwills.butiwouldn't—noiwouldn't—itisaprettyboxtoo—prettilydovetailed—iadmirethefashionofitmuch.buti'dcutmyfingersoff,beforei'ddosuchadirty—whathaveitodo—cursethekeys,howtheyrattle—rattleinone'spockets—thekeysandthehalfpence(takesoutabunchandplayswiththem).iwounderifanyofthesewouldfit;onemightjusttrythem,butiwouldn'tliftupthelidiftheydid.ohno,whatshouldibethericherforknowing?(allthistimehetriesthekeysonebyone.)what'shisnametome?athousandnamesbeginwithanh.ihatepeoplethatarealwaysprying,pokingandpryingintothings,—thrustingtheirfingerintooneplace—amightylittleholethis—andtheirkeysintoanother.ohlord!littlerustyfitsit!butwhatisthattome?iwouldn'tgoto—nono—butitisoddlittlerustyshouldjusthappen.(whileheisturningupthelidofthebox,mr.h.entersbehinghimunperceived.)

mr.h.

whatareyouabout,youdog?

landlordohlord,sir!pardon;nothiefasihopetobesaved.littleprywasalwayshonest.