LETTER249

letter249

charleslambtofannykelly

20july,1819.

dearmisskelly,—wehadthepleasure,painimightbettercallit,ofseeingyoulastnightinthenewplay.itwasamostconsummatepieceofacting,butwhatataskforyoutoundergo!atatimewhenyourheartissorefromrealsorrow!ithasgivenrisetoatrainofthinking,whichicannotsuppress.

wouldtogodyouwerereleasedfromthiswayoflife;thatyoucouldbringyourmindtoconsenttotakeyourlotwithus,andthrowoffforeverthewholeburdenofyourprofession.ineitherexpectorwishyoutotakenoticeofthiswhichiamwriting,inyourpresentoveroccupied&hurriedstate.—buttothinkofitatyourleisure.ihavequiteincomeenough,ifthatwereall,tojustifyformemakingsuchaproposal,withwhatimaycallevenahandsomeprovisionformysurvivor.whatyoupossessofyourownwouldnaturallybeappropriatedtothose,forwhosesakeschieflyyouhavemadesomanyhardsacrifices.iamnotsofoolishasnottoknowthatiamamostunworthymatchforsuchaoneasyou,butyouhaveforyearsbeenaprincipalobjectinmymind.inmanyasweetassumedcharacterihavelearnedtoloveyou,butsimplyasf.m.kellyiloveyoubetterthanthemall.canyouquittheseshadowsofexistence,&come&bearealitytous?canyouleaveoffharassingyourselftopleaseathanklessmultitude,whoknownothingofyou,&beginatlasttolivetoyourself&yourfriends?

asplainly&franklyasihaveseenyougiveorrefuseassentinsomefeignedscene,sofranklydomethejusticetoanswerme.itisimpossibleishouldfeelinjuredoraggrievedbyyourtellingmeatonce,thattheproposaldoesnotsuityou.itisimpossiblethatishouldeverthinkofmolestingyouwithidleimportunityandpersecutionafteryourmind[was]oncefirmlyspoken—buthappier,farhappier,couldihaveleavetohopeatimemightcome,whenourfriendsmightbeyourfriends;ourinterestsyours;ourbook-knowledge,ifinthatinconsiderableparticularwehaveanylittleadvantage,mightimpartsomethingtoyou,whichyouwouldeverydayhaveitinyourpowertenthousandfoldtorepaybytheaddedcheerfulnessandjoywhichyoucouldnotfailtobringasadowryintowhateverfamilyshouldhavethehonorandhappinessofreceivingyou,themostwelcomeaccessionthatcouldbemadetoit.

inhaste,butwithentirerespect&deepestaffection,isubscribemyself

c.lamb.

[itwasknown,ontheauthorityofthelatemr.charleskent,thatfannykelly,theactress,hadreceivedanofferofmarriagefromlamb;butmyownimpressionwasthatitwasmademuchlaterinlifethanthisletter,firstprintedin1903bymr.johnhollingshead,indicates.misskelly,whoatthistimewasengagedatthelyceum,wouldbetwenty-nineonoctober15;lambwasforty-fourinfebruary.hissalarywasnow£600ayear.

lambhadlongadmiredmisskellyasanactress.inhisworks,publishedin1818,wasthissonnet:—

tomisskelly

youarenot,kelly,ofthecommonstrain,

thatstooptheirprideandfemalehonourdown

topleasethatmany-headedbeastthetown,

andvendtheirlavishsmilesandtricksforgain;

byfortunethrownamidtheactors'train,

youkeepyournativedignityofthought;

theplauditsthatattendyoucomeunsought,

astributesdueuntoyournaturalvein.

yourtearshavepassioninthem,andagrace

ofgenuinefreshness,whichourheartsavow;

yoursmilesarewindswhosewayswecannottrace,

thatvanishandreturnweknownothow—

andpleasethebetterfromapensiveface,

andthoughtfuleye,andareflectingbrow.

thatlambhadbeenponderinghisofferforsomelittletimeisested,mr.macdonaldremarks,byapassageinoneofhisarticlesonmisskellyintheexaminerearlierinthismonth,wherehesaysofherasrachel,in"thejovialcrew,"probablywithfullknowledgethatitwouldmeethereyeandbeunderstood(atrulyelianmethodoflove-lettering),"'whatalassthatwere,'saidastrangerwhosatebesideus…'togoagipseyingthroughtheworldwith.'"

thiswasmisskelly'sreply:—

henriettastreet,july20th,1819.

anearly&deeplyrootedattachmenthasfixedmyheartononefromwhomnoworldlyprospectcanwellinducemetowithdrawit,butwhileithusfrankly&decidedlydeclineyourproposal,believeme,iamnotinsensibletothehighhonourwhichthepreferenceofsuchamindasyoursconfersuponme—letme,however,hopethatallthoughtuponthissubjectwillendwiththisletter,&thatyouwillhenceforthencouragenoothersentimenttowardsmethanesteeminmyprivatecharacterandacontinuanceofthatapprobationofmyhumbletalentswhichyouhavealreadyexpressedsomuch&sooftentomyadvantageandgratification.

believemeifeelproudtoacknowledgemyself

yourobligedfriend

f.m.kelly.

lambatoncewroteagainasfollows:—]