LETTER122

letter122

marylambtosarahstoddart

[latejuly,1804.]

mydearestsarah,—yourletter,whichcontainedthenewsofcoleridge'sarrival,wasamostwelcomeone;forwehadbeguntoentertainveryunpleasantapprehensionsforhissafety;andyourkindreceptionoftheforlornwanderergavemethegreatestpleasure,andithankyouforitinmyownandmybrother'sname.ishalldependuponyouforhearingofhiswelfare;forhedoesnotwritehimself;but,aslongasweknowheissafe,andinsuchkindfriends'hands,wedonotmind.yourletters,mydearsarah,aretomevery,verypreciousones.theyarethekindest,best,mostnaturalonesieverreceived.theonecontainingthenewsofthearrivalofcoleridgeperhapsthebestieversaw;andyouroldfriendcharlesisofmyopinion.wesentitofftomrs.coleridgeandthewordsworths—aswellbecausewethoughtitourdutytogivethemthefirstnoticewehadofourdearfriend'ssafety,asthatwewereproudofshewingoursarah'sprettyletter.

theletterswereceivedafewdaysafterfromyouandyourbrotherwerefarlesswelcomeones.irejoicedtohearyoursisteriswell;butigrievedforthelossofthedearbaby;andiamsorrytofindyourbrotherisnotsoessfulasheatfirstexpectedtobe;andyetiamalmosttemptedtowishhisillfortunemaysendhimover[to]usagain.hehasafriend,iunderstand,whoisnowattheheadoftheadmiralty;whymayhenotreturn,andmakeafortunehere?

icannotcondolewithyouverysincerelyuponyourlittlefailureinthefortune-makingway.ifyouregretit,sodoi.butihopetoseeyouacomfortableenglishwife;andtheforsaken,forgottenwilliam,ofenglish-partridgememory,ihavestillahankeringafter.however,ithankyouforyourfrankcommunication,andibegyouwillcontinueitinfuture;andifidonotagreewithagoodgracetoyourhavingamaltesehusband,iwillwishyouhappy,providedyoumakeitapartofyourmarriagearticlesthatyourhusbandshallallowyoutocomeoverseaandmakemeonevisit;elsemayneglectandoverlookednessbeyourportionwhileyoustaythere.

iwouldcondolewithyouwhenthemisfortunehasfallenyourpoorleg;butsuchistheblesseddistanceweareatfromeachother,thatihope,beforeyoureceivethis,thatyouforgotiteverhappened.

ourcompliments[to]thehightonatthemaltesecourt.yourbrotherissoprofuseofthemtome,thatbeing,asyouknow,sounusedtothem,theyperplexmesadly;infuture,ibegtheymaybediscontinued.theyalwaysremindmeofthefree,and,ibelieve,veryimproper,letteriwrotetoyouwhileyouwereattheisleofwight.themorekindlyyouandyourbrotherandsistertooktheimpertinentadvicecontainedinit,themorecertainifeelthatitwasunnecessary,andthereforehighlyimproper.donotletyourbrothercomplimentmeintothememoryofitagain.

mybrotherhashadaletterfromyourmother,whichhasdistressedhimsadly—aboutthepostageofsomelettersbeingpaidbymybrother.yoursillybrother,itseems,hasinformedyourmother(ididnotthinkyourbrothercouldhavebeensosilly)thatcharleshadgrumbledatpayingthesaidpostage.thefactwas,justatthattimewewereverypoor,havinglostthemorningpost,andwewerebeginningtopractiseastricteconomy.mybrother,whonevermakesuphismindwhetherhewillbeamiseroraspendthrift,isatalltimesastrangemixtureofboth:ofthisfailing,theeveneconomyofyourcorrectbrother'stempermakeshimanilljudge.themiserlypartofcharles,atthattimesmartingunderhisrecentloss,thenhappenedtoreigntriumphant;andhewouldnotwrite,orletmewrite,sooftenashewished,becausethepostagecosttwoandfourpence.thencametwoorthreeofyourpoormother'slettersnearlytogether;andthetwoandfourpenceshewished,butgrudged,topayforhisown,hewasforcedtopayforhers.inthisdismaldistress,heappliedtofenwicktogethisfriendmotleytosendthemfreefromportsmouth.thismr.fenwickcouldhavedoneforhalfaword'sspeaking;butthishedidnotdo.thencharlesfoolishlyandunthinkinglycomplainedtoyourbrotherinahalfserious,halfjokingway;andyourbrotherhaswickedly,andwithmaliceaforethought,toldyourmother.ofyeuponhim!whatwillyourmotherthinkofus?

itoofeelmyshareofblameinthisvexatiousbusiness;forisawtheunluckyparagraphinmybrother'sletter;andihadakindofforebodingthatitwouldcometoyourmother'sears—althoughihadahigheropinionofyourbrother'sgoodsensethanifindhedeserved.byentreatiesandprayers,imighthaveprevailedonmybrothertosaynothingaboutit.butimakeapointofconsciencenevertointerfereorcrossmybrotherinthehumourhehappenstobein.italwaysappearstometobeavexatiouskindoftyranny,thatwomenhavenobusinesstoexerciseovermen,which,merelybecausetheyhavingabetterjudgement,theyhavethepowertodo.letmenalone,andatlastwefindtheycomeroundtotherightway,whichwe,byakindofintuition,perceiveatonce.butbetter,farbetter,thatweshouldletthemoftendowrong,thanthattheyshouldhavethetormentofamonitoralwaysattheirelbows.

charlesissadlyfrettednow,iknow,atwhattosaytoyourmother.ihavemadethislongpreambleaboutittoinduce[you,]ifpossible,toreinstateusinyourmother'sgoodgraces.saytoheritwasajestmisunderstood;tellhercharleslambisnottheshabbyfellowsheandhersontookhimfor;butthatheisnowandthenatriflewhimsicalorso.idonotaskyourbrothertodothis,foriamoffendedwithhimforthemischiefhehasmade.

ifeelthatihavetoolightlypassedovertheinterestingaccountyousentmeofyourlatedisappointment.itwasnotbecauseididnotfeelandcompl[ete]lyenterintotheaffairwithyou.yousurpriseandpleasemewiththefrankandgenerouswayinwhichyoudealwithyourlovers,takingarefusalfromtheirsoprudentialheartswithabettergraceandmoregoodhumourthanotherwomenacceptasuitor'sservice.continuethisopenartlessconduct,anditrustyouwillatlastfindsomemanwhohassenseenoughtoknowyouarewellworthriskingapeaceablelifeofpovertyfor.ishallyetlivetoseeyouapoor,buthappy,englishwife.

remembermemostaffectionatelytocoleridge;andithankyouagainandagainforallyourkindnesstohim.todearmrs.stoddartandyourbrother,ibegmybestlove;andtoyoualliwishhealthandhappiness,andasoonreturntooldengland.

ihavesenttomr.burrel'sforyourkindpresent;butunfortunatelyheisnotintown.iamimpatienttoseemyfinesilkhandkerchiefs;andithankyouforthem,notasapresent,foridonotlovepresents,butasa[wordillegible]remembranceofyouroldfriend.farewell.

iam,mybestsarah,

yourmostaffectionatefriend,

marylamb.

goodwishes,andallproperremembrances,fromoldnurse,mrs.jeffries,

mrs.reynolds,mrs.rickman,&c.&c.&c.

longlivequeenhoop-oop-oop-oo,andalltheoldmerryphantoms!