LETTER94

letter94

charleslambtothomasmanning

[nodate.?feb.15,1802.]

notasentence,notasyllableoftrismegistus,shallbelostthroughmyneglect.iamhisword-banker,hisstorekeeperofpunsandsyllogisms.youcannotconceive(andiftrismegistuscannot,nomancan)thestrangejoywhichifeltatthereceiptofaletterfromparis.itseemedtogivemealearnedimportance,whichplacedmeaboveallwhohadnotparisiancorrespondents.believethatishallcarefullyhusbandeveryscrap,whichwillsaveyouthetroubleofmemory,whenyoucomeback.youcannotwritethingssotrifling,letthemonlybeaboutparis,whichishallnottreasure.inparticular,imusthaveparallelsofactorsandactresses.imustbetoldifanybuildinginparisisatallcomparabletost.paul's,which,contrarytotheusualmodeofthatpartofournaturecalledadmiration,ihavelookeduptowithunfadingwondereverymorningatteno'clock,eversinceithaslaininmywaytobusiness.atnoonicasuallyglanceuponit,beinghungry;andhungerhasnotmuchtasteforthefinearts.isanynight-walkcomparabletoawalkfromst.paul'stocharingcross,forlightingandpaving,crowdsgoingandcomingwithoutrespite,therattleofcoachesandthecheerfulnessofshops?haveyouseenamanguillotinedyet?isitasgoodashanging?arethewomenallpainted,andthemenallmonkeys?oraretherenotafewthatlooklikerationalofbothsexes?areyouandthefirstconsulthick?allthisexpenseofinkimayfairlyputyouto,asyourletterswillnotbesolelyformyproperpleasure,butaretoserveasmemorandaandnotices,helpsforshortmemory,akindofrumfordisingrecollection,foryourselfonyourreturn.yourletterwasjustwhatalettershouldbe,crammedandveryfunny.everypartofitpleasedmetillyoucametoparis;andyourdamn'dphilosophicalindolenceorindifferencestungme.youcannotstirfromyourroomstillyouknowthelanguage!whatthedevil!—aremennothingbutword-trumpets?aremenalltongueandear?havethesecreatures,thatyouandiprofesstoknowsomethingabout,nofaces,gestures,gabble:nofolly,noabsurdity,noinductionoffrencheducationupontheabstractideaofmenandwomen,nosimilitudenordis-similitudetoenglish!why!thoudamn'dsmell-fungus!youraccountofyourlandingandreception,andbullen(iforgethowyouspellit—itwasspeltmywayinharrytheeighth'stime,)wasexactlyinthatminutestylewhichstrongimpressionsinspire(writingtoafrenchman,iwriteasafrenchmanwould).itappearstomeasifishoulddiewithjoyatthefirstlandinginaforeigncountry.itisthenearestpleasure,whichagrownmancansubstituteforthatunknownone,whichhecanneverknow—thepleasureofthefirstentranceintolifefromthewomb.idaresay,inashorttime,myhabitswouldcomebacklikea"strongerman"armed,anddriveoutthatnewpleasure;andishouldsoonsickenforknownobjects.nothinghastranspiredherethatseemstomeofsufficientimportancetosenddry-shodoverthewater:butisupposeyouwillwanttobetoldsomenews.thebestandtheworsttomeis,thatihavegivenuptwoguineasaweekatthe"post,"andregainedmyhealthandspirits,whichwereuponthewane.igrewsick,andstuartunsatisfied.ludistisatis,tempusabireest;imustcutcloser,that'sall.

inallthistimeihavedonebutonething,whichireckontolerable,andthatiwilltranscribe,becauseitmaygiveyoupleasure,beingapictureofmyhumours.youwillfinditinmylastpage.itabsurdlyisafirstnumberofaseries,thusstrangledinitsbirth.

morenews!theprofessor'sribhascomeouttobeadamn'ddisagreeablewoman,somuchsoastodrivemeandsomemoreoldcroniesfromhishouse.ifamanwillkeepsnakesinhishouse,hemustnotwonderifpeopleareshyofcomingtoseehimbecauseofthesnakes.

c.l.

misterfell—orasyou,withyourusualfacetiousnessanddrollery,callhim,mr.f+ii—hasstoppedshortinthemiddleofhisplay.somefriendhastoldhimthatithasnottheleastmeritinit.oh!thatihadtherectifyingofthelitany!iwouldputinaliberanos(scriptoresvidelicet)abamicis!that'sallthenews.apropos(isitpedantry,writingtoafrenchman,toexpressmyselfsometimesbyafrenchword,whenanenglishonewouldnotdoaswell?methinks,mythoughtsfallnaturallyintoit).

apropos,ithinkyouwrongaboutmyplay.alltheomissionsareright.andthesupplementaryscene,inwhichsandfordnarratesthemannerinwhichhismasterisaffected,isthebestinthebook.itstandswhereahodge-podgeofgermanpuerilitiesusedtostand.iinsistuponitthatyoulikethatscene.loveme,lovethatscene.

iwillnowtranscribethe"londoner"(no.1),andwindupallwithaffectionandhumbleservantattheend.

thelondoner.no.1.

incompliancewithmyownparticularhumour,nolessthanwiththylaudablecuriosity,reader,iproceedtogivetheesomeaccountofmyhistoryandhabits.iwasbornunderthenoseofst.dunstan'ssteeple,justwheretheconfluxoftheeasternandwesterninhabitantsofthistwofoldcitymeetandjustleinfriendlyoppositionattemple-bar.thesamedaywhichgavemetotheworldsawlondonhappyinthecelebrationofhergreatannualfeast.thisicannothelplookinguponasalivelytypeoromenofthefuturegreatgoodwillwhichiwasdestinedtobeartowardthecity,resemblinginkindthatsolicitudewhicheverychiefmagistrateissupposedtofeelforwhateverconcernsherinterestsandwell-being.indeed,iconsidermyselfinsomesortaspeculativelordmayoroflondon:for,thoughcircumstancesunhappilyprecludemefromthehopeofeverarrivingatthedignityofagoldchainandspitalsermon,yetthusmuchwillisayofmyself,intruth,thatwhittingtonhimselfwithhiscat(justemblemofvigilanceandafurredgown),neverwentbeyondmeinaffection,whichibeartothecitizens.shutoutfromservingtheminthemosthonourablemode,iaspiretodothembenefitinanother,scarcelylesshonourable;andificannot,byvirtueofoffice,commitviceandirregularitytothematerialcounter,iwill,atleast,erectaspiritualone,wheretheyshallbelaidfastbytheheels.inplainwords,iwilldomybestendeavourtowritethemdown.

toreturntomyself(fromwhencemyzealforthepublicgoodisperpetuallycausingmetodigress),iwillletthee,reader,intocertainmoreofmypeculiarities.iwasborn(asyouhaveheard),bred,andhavepassedmostofmytime,inacrowd.thishasbegotinmeanentireaffectionforthatwayoflife,amountingtoanalmostinsurmountableaversionfromsolitudeandruralscenes.thisaversionwasneverinterruptedorsuspended,exceptforafewyearsintheyoungerpartofmylife,duringaperiodinwhichihadfixedmyaffectionsuponacharmingyoungwoman.everyman,whilethepassionisuponhim,isforatimeatleastaddictedtogrovesandmeadows,andpurlingstreams.duringthisshortperiodofmyexistence,icontractedjustenoughfamiliaritywithruralobjectstounderstandtolerablywelleverafterthepoets,whentheydeclaiminsuchpassionatetermsinfavourofacountrylife.

formyownpart,nowthefitislongpast,ihavenohesitationindeclaring,thatamobofhappyfacescrowdingupatthepitdoorofdrury-lanetheatrejustatthehouroffive,givemetenthousandfinerpleasures,thanieverreceivedfromalltheflocksofsillysheep,thathavewhitenedtheplainsofarcadiaorepsomdowns.

thispassionforcrowdsisnowherefeastedsofullasinlondon.themanmusthaveararerecipeformelancholy,whocanbedullinfleet-street.iamnaturallyinclinedtohypochondria,butinlondonitvanishes,likeallotherills.oftenwhenihavefeltawearinessordistasteathome,haveirushedoutintohercrowdedstrand,andfedmyhumour,tilltearshavewettedmycheekforinutterablesympathieswiththemultitudinousmovingpicture,whichsheneverfailstopresentatallhours,liketheshiftingscenesofaskilfulpantomime.

theverydeformitiesoflondon,whichgivedistastetoothers,fromhabitdonotdispleaseme.theendlessessionofshops,wherefancy(miscalledfolly)issuppliedwithperpetualnewgaudsandtoys,exciteinmenopuritanicalaversion.igladlybeholdeveryappetitesuppliedwithitsproperfood.theobligingcustomer,andtheobligedtradesmen—thingswhichlivebybowing,andthingswhichexistbutforhomage,donotaffectmewithdisgust;fromhabitiperceivenothingbuturbanity,whereothermen,morerefined,discovermeanness.ilovetheverysmokeoflondon,becauseithasbeenthemediummostfamiliartomyvision.iseegrandprinciplesofhonouratworkinthedirtyringwhichencompassestwocombatantswithfists,andprinciplesofnolesseternaljusticeinthetumultuousdetectorsofapickpocket.thesalutaryastonishmentwithwhichanexecutionissurveyed,convincesmemoreforciblythananhundredvolumesofabstractpolity,thattheuniversalinstinctofman,inallages,hasleanedtoorderandgoodgovernment.thusanartofextractingmorality,fromthecommonestincidentsofatownlife,isattainedbythesamewell-naturedalchemy,withwhichtheforestersofardeninabeautifulcountry

foundtonguesintrees,booksintherunningbrooks,

sermonsinstones,andgoodineverything—

wherehasspleenherfoodbutinlondon—humour,interest,curiosity,suckathermeasurelessbreastswithoutapossibilityofbeingsatiated.nursedamidhernoise,hercrowds,herbelovedsmoke—whathaveibeendoingallmylife,ifihavenotlentoutmyheartwithusurytosuchscenes?

reader,inthecourseofmyperegrinationsaboutthegreatcity,itishard,ifihavenotpickedupmatter,whichmayservetoamusethee,asithasdoneme,awintereveninglong.whennextwemeet,ipurposeopeningmybudget—tillwhen,farewell.

"whatisallthisabout?"saidmrs.shandy."astoryofacockandabull,"saidyorick:andsoitis;butmanningwilltakegood-naturedlywhatgodwillsendhimacrossthewater:onlyihopehewon'tshuthiseyes,andopenhismouth,asthechildrensay,forthatisthewaytogape,andnottoread.manning,continueyourlaudablepurposeofmakingmeyourregister.iwillrenderbackallyourremarks;andi,notyou,shallhavereceivedusurybyhavingreadthem.inthemeantime,maythegreatspirithaveyouinhiskeeping,andpreserveourenglishmenfromtheinoculationoffrivolityandsinuponfrenchearth.

allons—orwhatisityousay,insteadofgood-bye?

marysendsherkindremembrance,andcovetstheremarksequallywithme.

c.lamb.

[thereferencetothe"word-banker"and"register"isexplainedbymanning'sfirstlettertolambfromparis,inwhichhesays:"i…begyoutokeepallmyletters.ihopetosendyoumany—andimayinthecourseoftime,makesomeobservationsthatishallwishtorecalltomymemorywhenireturntoengland."

"areyouandthefirstconsulthick?"—napoleon,withwhommanningwasdestinedonedaytobeonterms.in1803,onthedeclarationofwar,whenhewishedtoreturntoengland,manning'swastheonlypassportthatnapoleonsigned;again,in1817,onreturningfromchina,manningwaswreckednearst.helena,and,waitingontheislandforaship,conversedtherewiththegreatexile.

"rumfordising."awordcoinedbylambfromsirbenjaminthompson,countvonrumford,thefounderoftheroyalinstitution,thedeviseroftherumfordstove,andatirelessscientificandphilosophicalexperimentalist.

"smellfungus."anallusiontosterne'sattackonsmollett,inthesentimentaljourney:"thelamentedsmelfungustravelledfromboulognetoparis,fromparistorome,andsoon;buthesetoutwiththespleenandjaundice,andeveryobjecthepassedbywasdiscolouredordistorted."

"thepost."lambhadbeenwritingcriticismsofplays;butstuart,aswehaveseen,wantedthemonthesamenightastheperformanceandlambfoundthisimpossible.

"ihavedonebutonething"—"thelondoner,"referredtolater.

"theprofessor'srib"—godwin'ssecondwife,thewidowclairmont(motherofjaneclairmont),whomhehadmarriedindecember,1801.

"fell"—r.fell,authorofatourthroughthebatavianrepublic,1801.laterhecompiledalifeofcharlesjamesfox,1808.lambknewhim,aswellasfenwick,throughgodwin.

"apropos,ithinkyouwrongaboutmyplay."johnwoodvilhadjustbeenpublishedandlambhadsentmanningacopy.manning,inreturn,hadwrittenfromparisearlyinfebruary:"ishowedyourtragedytoholcroft,whohadtasteenoughtodiscoverthat'tisfullofpoetry—buttheplothecondemnsintoto.tellmehowiteeds.ithinkyouwereilladvisedtoretrenchsomuch.imissthebeautifulbranchesyouhaveloppedoffandregretthem.insomeofthepagesthesprinklingofwordsissothinastobequiteoutré.thereyouwerewrongagain."

"thelondoner"waspublishedinthemorningpost,february1,1802.ihave"edthearticlefromthatpaper,aslamb'scopyformanninghasdisappeared.concerningitmanningwrote,inhisnextletter—april6,1802—"ilikeyour'londoner'verymuch,thereisadealofhappyfancyinit,butitisnotstrongenoughtobeseenbythegeneralityofreaders,yetifyouweretowriteavolumeofessaysinthesamestileyoumightbesureofitseeding."]