ElectionBallad

electionballad

atthecloseofthecontestforrepresentingthedumfriesburghs,1790.

addressedtor.graham,esq.offintry.

fintry,mystayinwordlystrife,

friendo'mymuse,friendo'mylife,

areyeasidle'siam?

comethen,wi'uncouthkintrafleg,

o'erpegasusi'llflingmyleg,

andyeshallseemetryhim.

butwhereshalligorinaride,

thatimaysplatternanebeside?

iwadnabeuncivil:

inmanhood'svariouspathsandways

there'sayesomedoytin'bodystrays,

andiridelikethedevil.

thusibreakaffwi'a'mybirr,

anddownyondark,deepalleyspur,

wheretheologicsdaunder:

alas!curstwi'eternalfogs,

anddamn'dineverlastingbogs,

assure'sthecreedi'llblunder!

i'llstainaband,orjaupagown,

orrinmyreckless,guiltycrown

againstthehalydoor:

sairdoiruemylucklessfate,

when,asthemusean'deilwadhae't,

iradethatroadbefore.

supposeitakeaspurt,andmix

amangthewildso'politics—

electorsandelected,

wheredogsatcourt(sadsonsofbitches!)

septenniallyamadnesstouches,

tillalltheland'sinfected.

allhail!drumlanrig'shaughtygrace,

discardedremnantofarace

oncegodlike—greatinstory;

thyforbears'virtuesallcontrasted,

theverynameofdouglasblasted,

thinethatinvertedglory!

hate,envy,oftthedouglasbore,

butthouhastsuperaddedmore,

andsunkthemincontempt;

folliesandcrimeshavestain'dthename,

but,queensberry,thinethevirginclaim,

fromaughtthat'sgoodexempt!

i'llsingthezealdrumlanrigbears,

wholefttheall-importantcares

ofprinces,andtheirdarlings:

and,bentonwinningboroughtouns,

cameshakinghandswi'wabster-loons,