Chapter108

thewinterpassed.nowandthenphilipwenttothehospital,slinkinginwhenitwaslateandtherewaslittlechanceofmeetinganyoneheknew,toseewhethertherewerelettersforhim.ateasterhereceivedonefromhisuncle.hewassurprisedtohearfromhim,forthevicarofblackstablehadneverwrittenhimmorethanhalfadozenlettersinhiswholelife,andtheywereonbusinessmatters.

dearphilip,

ifyouarethinkingoftakingaholidaysoonandcaretocomedownhereishallbepleasedtoseeyou.iwasveryillwithmybronchitisinthewinteranddoctorwigramneverexpectedmetopullthrough.ihaveawonderfulconstitutionandimade,thankgod,amarvellousrecovery.

yoursaffectionately,williamcarey.

thelettermadephilipangry.howdidhisunclethinkhewasliving?hedidnoteventroubletoinquire.hemighthavestarvedforalltheoldmancared.butashewalkedhomesomethingstruckhim;hestoppedunderalamp-postandreadtheletteragain;thehandwritinghadnolongerthebusiness-likefirmnesswhichhadcharacterisedit;itwaslargerandwavering:perhapstheillnesshadshakenhimmorethanhewaswillingtoconfess,andhesoughtinthatformalnotetoexpressayearningtoseetheonlyrelationhehadintheworld.philipwrotebackthathecouldcomedowntoblackstableforafortnightinjuly.theinvitationwasconvenient,forhehadnotknownwhattodo,withhisbriefholiday.theathelnyswenthoppinginseptember,buthecouldnotthenbespared,sinceduringthatmonththeautumnmodelswereprepared.theruleoflynn’swasthateveryonemusttakeafortnightwhetherhewanteditornot;andduringthattime,ifhehadnowheretogo,theassistantmightsleepinhisroom,buthewasnotallowedfood.anumberhadnofriendswithinreasonabledistanceoflondon,andtothesetheholidaywasanawkwardintervalwhentheyhadtoprovidefoodoutoftheirsmallwagesand,withthewholedayontheirhands,hadnothingtospend.philiphadnotbeenoutoflondonsincehisvisittobrightonwithmildred,nowtwoyearsbefore,andhelongedforfreshairandthesilenceofthesea.hethoughtofitwithsuchapassionatedesire,allthroughmayandjune,that,whenatlengththetimecameforhimtogo,hewaslistless.

onhislastevening,whenhetalkedwiththebuyerofoneortwojobshehadtoleaveover,mr.sampsonsuddenlysaidtohim:

“whatwageshaveyoubeengetting?”  “sixshillings.”

“idon’tthinkit’senough.i’llseethatyou’reputuptotwelvewhenyoucomeback.”

“thankyouverymuch,”smiledphilip.“i’mbeginningtowantsomenewclothesbadly.”

“ifyousticktoyourworkanddon’tgolarkingaboutwiththegirlslikewhatsomeofthemdo,i’lllookafteryou,carey.mindyou,you’vegotalottolearn,butyou’repromising,i’llsaythatforyou,you’repromising,andi’llseethatyougetapoundaweekassoonasyoudeserveit.”

philipwonderedhowlonghewouldhavetowaitforthat.twoyears?

hewasstartledatthechangeinhisuncle.whenlasthehadseenhimhewasastoutman,whoheldhimselfupright,clean-shaven,witharound,sensualface;buthehadfalleninstrangely,hisskinwasyellow;thereweregreatbagsundertheeyes,andhewasbentandold.hehadgrownabeardduringhislastillness,andhewalkedveryslowly.

“i’mnotatmybesttoday,”hesaidwhenphilip,havingjustarrived,wassittingwithhiminthedining-room.“theheatupsetsme.”

philip,askingaftertheaffairsoftheparish,lookedathimandwonderedhowmuchlongerhecouldlast.ahotsummerwouldfinishhim;philipnoticedhowthinhishandswere;theytrembled.itmeantsomuchtophilip.ifhediedthatsummerhecouldgobacktothehospitalatthebeginningofthewintersession;hisheartleapedatthethoughtofreturningnomoretolynn’s.atdinnerthevicarsathumpeduponhischair,andthehousekeeperwhohadbeenwithhimsincehiswife’sdeathsaid:

“shallmr.philipcarve,sir?”

theoldman,whohadbeenabouttodosofromdisinclinationtoconfesshisweakness,seemedgladatthefirstestiontorelinquishtheattempt.

“you’vegotaverygoodappetite,”saidphilip.

“ohyes,ialwayseatwell.buti’mthinnerthanwhenyouwereherelast.i’mgladtobethinner,ididn’tlikebeingsofat.dr.wigramthinksi’mallthebetterforbeingthinnerthaniwas.”

whendinnerwasoverthehousekeeperbroughthimsomemedicine.

“showtheprescriptiontomasterphilip,”hesaid.“he’sadoctortoo.i’dlikehimtoseethathethinksit’sallright.itolddr.wigramthatnowyou’restudyingtobeadoctorheoughttomakeareductioninhischarges.it’sdreadfulthebillsi’vehadtopay.hecameeverydayfortwomonths,andhechargesfiveshillingsavisit.it’salotofmoney,isn’tit?hecomestwiceaweekstill.i’mgoingtotellhimheneedn’tcomeanymore.i’llsendforhimifiwanthim.”

helookedatphilipeagerlywhilehereadtheprescriptions.theywerenarcotics.thereweretwoofthem,andonewasamedicinewhichthevicarexplainedhewastouseonlyifhisneuritisgrewunendurable.

“i’mverycareful,”hesaid.“idon’twanttogetintotheopiumhabit.”

hedidnotmentionhisnephew’saffairs.philipfanciedthatitwasbywayofprecaution,incaseheaskedformoney,thathisunclekeptdwellingonthefinancialcallsuponhim.hehadspentsomuchonthedoctorandsomuchmoreonthechemist,whilehewasilltheyhadhadtohaveafireeverydayinhisbed-room,andnowonsundayheneededacarriagetogotochurchintheeveningaswellasinthemorning.philipfeltangrilyinclinedtosayheneednotbeafraid,hewasnotgoingtoborrowfromhim,butheheldhistongue.itseemedtohimthateverythinghadlefttheoldmannowbuttwothings,pleasureinhisfoodandagraspingdesireformoney.itwasahideousoldage.

intheafternoondr.wigramcame,andafterthevisitphilipwalkedwithhimtothegardengate.

“howd’youthinkheis?”saidphilip.

dr.wigramwasmoreanxiousnottodowrongthantodoright,andheneverhazardedadefiniteopinionifhecouldhelpit.hehadpractisedatblackstableforfive-and-thirtyyears.hehadthereputationofbeingverysafe,andmanyofhispatientsthoughtitmuchbetterthatadoctorshouldbesafethanclever.therewasanewmanatblackstable—hehadbeensettledtherefortenyears,buttheystilllookeduponhimasaninterloper—andhewassaidtobeveryclever;buthehadnotmuchpracticeamongthebetterpeople,becausenoonereallyknewanythingabouthim.

“oh,he’saswellascanbeexpected,”saiddr.wigraminanswertophilip’sinquiry.

“hashegotanythingseriouslythematterwithhim?”

“well,philip,youruncleisnolongerayoungman,”saidthedoctorwithacautiouslittlesmile,whichestedthatafterallthevicarofblackstablewasnotanoldmaneither.

“heseemstothinkhisheart’sinabadway.”

“i’mnotsatisfiedwithhisheart,”hazardedthedoctor,“ithinkheshouldbecareful,verycareful.”

onthetipofphilip’stonguewasthequestion:howmuchlongercanhelive?hewasafraiditwouldshock.inthesemattersaperiphrasewasdemandedbythedecorumoflife,but,asheaskedanotherquestioninstead,itflashedthroughhimthatthedoctormustbeaccustomedtotheimpatienceofasickman’srelatives.hemustseethroughtheirsympatheticexpressions.philip,withafaintsmileathisownhypocrisy,castdownhiseyes.

“isupposehe’sinnoimmediatedanger?”

thiswasthekindofquestionthedoctorhated.ifyousaidapatientcouldn’tliveanothermonththefamilyprepareditselfforabereavement,andifthenthepatientlivedontheyvisitedthemedicalattendantwiththeresentmenttheyfeltathavingtormentedthemselvesbeforeitwasnecessary.ontheotherhand,ifyousaidthepatientmightliveayearandhediedinaweekthefamilysaidyoudidnotknowyourbusiness.theythoughtofalltheaffectiontheywouldhavelavishedonthedefunctiftheyhadknowntheendwassonear.dr.wigrammadethegestureofwashinghishands.

“idon’tthinkthere’sanygraverisksolongashe—remainsasheis,”heventuredatlast.“butontheotherhand,wemustn’tforgetthathe’snolongerayoungman,andwell,themachineiswearingout.ifhegetsoverthehotweatheridon’tseewhyheshouldn’tgetonverycomfortablytillthewinter,andthenifthewinterdoesnotbotherhimtoomuch,well,idon’tseewhyanythingshouldhappen.”

philipwentbacktothedining-roomwherehisunclewassitting.withhisskull-capandacrochetshawloverhisshouldershelookedgrotesque.hiseyeshadbeenfixedonthedoor,andtheyrestedonphilip’sfaceasheentered.philipsawthathisunclehadbeenwaitinganxiouslyforhisreturn.

“well,whatdidhesayaboutme?”

philipunderstoodsuddenlythattheoldmanwasfrightenedofdying.itmadephilipalittleashamed,sothathelookedawayinvoluntarily.hewasalwaysembarrassedbytheweaknessofhumannature.

“hesayshethinksyou’remuchbetter,”saidphilip.

agleamofdelightcameintohisuncle’seyes.

“i’vegotawonderfulconstitution,”hesaid.“whatelsedidhesay?”headdedsuspiciously.

philipsmiled.

“hesaidthatifyoutakecareofyourselfthere’snoreasonwhyyoushouldn’tlivetobeahundred.”

“idon’tknowthaticanexpecttodothat,butidon’tseewhyishouldn’tseeeighty.mymotherlivedtillshewaseighty-four.”

therewasalittletablebythesideofmr.carey’schair,andonitwereabibleandthelargevolumeofthecommonprayerfromwhichforsomanyyearshehadbeenaccustomedtoreadtohishousehold.hestretchedoutnowhisshakinghandandtookhisbible.

“thoseoldpatriarchslivedtoajollygoodoldage,didn’tthey?”hesaid,withaqueerlittlelaughinwhichphilipreadasortoftimidappeal.

theoldmanclungtolife.yethebelievedimplicitlyallthathisreligiontaughthim.hehadnodoubtintheimmortalityofthesoul,andhefeltthathehadconductedhimselfwellenough,accordingtohiscapacities,tomakeitverylikelythathewouldgotoheaven.inhislongcareertohowmanydyingpersonsmusthehaveadministeredtheconsolationsofreligion!perhapshewaslikethedoctorwhocouldgetnobenefitfromhisownprescriptions.philipwaspuzzledandshockedbythateagercleavingtotheearth.hewonderedwhatnamelesshorrorwasatthebackoftheoldman’smind.hewouldhavelikedtoprobeintohissoulsothathemightseeinitsnakednessthedreadfuldismayoftheunknownwhichhesuspected.

thefortnightpassedquicklyandphilipreturnedtolondon.hepassedaswelteringaugustbehindhisscreeninthecostumesdepartment,drawinginhisshirtsleeves.theassistantsinrelayswentfortheirholidays.intheeveningphilipgenerallywentintohydeparkandlistenedtotheband.growingmoreaccustomedtohisworkittiredhimless,andhismind,recoveringfromitslongstagnation,soughtforfreshactivity.hiswholedesirenowwassetonhisuncle’sdeath.hekeptondreamingthesamedream:atelegramwashandedtohimonemorning,early,whichannouncedthevicar’ssuddendemise,andfreedomwasinhisgrasp.whenheawokeandfounditwasnothingbutadreamhewasfilledwithsombrerage.heoccupiedhimself,nowthattheeventseemedlikelytohappenatanytime,withelaborateplansforthefuture.inthesehepassedrapidlyovertheyearwhichhemustspendbeforeitwaspossibleforhimtobequalifiedanddweltonthejourneytospainonwhichhisheartwasset.hereadbooksaboutthatcountry,whichheborrowedfromthefreelibrary,andalreadyheknewfromphotographsexactlywhateachcitylookedlike.hesawhimselflingeringincordovaonthebridgethatspannedthegaudalquivir;hewanderedthroughtortuousstreetsintoledoandsatinchurcheswherehewrungfromelgrecothesecretwhichhefeltthemysteriouspainterheldforhim.athelnyenteredintohishumour,andonsundayafternoonstheymadeoutelaborateitinerariessothatphilipshouldmissnothingthatwasnoteworthy.tocheathisimpatiencephilipbegantoteachhimselfspanish,andinthedesertedsitting-roominharringtonstreethespentanhoureveryeveningdoingspanishexercisesand

puzzlingoutwithanenglishtranslationbyhissidethemagnificentphrasesofdonquixote.athelnygavehimalessononceaweek,andphiliplearnedafewsentencestohelphimonhisjourney.mrs.athelnylaughedatthem.

“youtwoandyourspanish!”shesaid.“whydon’tyoudosomethinguseful?”