第25章"NexttoReadingMatter"

第25章nexttoreadingmatter

hecompelledmyinterstashesteppedfromtheferryatdesbrossesstreet.hehadtheairofbeingfamiliarwithhemi-spheresandworlds,andofenteringnewyorkasthelordofademesnewhorevisiteditinafteryearsofabsence.butithoughtthat,withallhisair,hehadneverbeforesetfootontheslipperycobblestonesofthecityoftoomanycaliphs.

heworelooseclothesofastrangebluishdrabcolor,andaconservative,roundpanamahatwithoutthecock-a-loopindentationsandcantswithwhichnorthernfanciersdisfigurethetropichead-gear.moreoverhewasthehomeliestmanihaveeverseen.hisuglinesswaslessrepellentthanstartling—arisingfromasortoflincolnianednessandirregularityoffeaturethatspellboundyouwithwonderanddismay.somayhavelookedafritesortheshapesmetamorphosedfromthevaporofthefisherman'svase.asheafterwardtoldme,hisnamewasjudsontate;andhemayaswellbecalledsoatonce.heworehisgreensilktiethroughatopazring;andhecarriedacanemadeofthevertebraeofashark.

judsontateaccostedmewithsomelargeandcasualinquiriesaboutthecity'sstreetsandhotels,inthemannerofonewhohadbutforthemomentforgottenthetriflingdetails.icouldthinkofnoreasonfordispraisingmyownquiethotelinthedowntowndistrict;sothemidmorningofthenightfoundusalreadyvictualedanddrinked(atmyexpense),andreadytobechairedandoedinaquietcornerofthelobby.

therewassomethingonjudsontate'smind,and,suchasitwas,hetriedtoconveyittome.alreadyhehadacceptedmeashisfriend;andwhenilookedathisgreat,snuff-brown,first-mate'shand,withwhichhebroughtemphasistohisperiods,withinsixinchesofmynose,iwonderedif,byanychance,hewasassuddeninconceivingenmityagainststrangers.

whenthismanbegantotalkiperceivedinhimacertainpower.hisvoicewasapersuasiveinstrument,uponwhichheplayedwithasomewhatspeciousbuteffectiveart.hedidnottrytomakeyouforgethisugliness;heflaunteditinyourfaceandmadeitpartofthecharmofhisspeech.shuttingyoureyes,youwouldhavetrailedafterthisrat-catcher'spipesatleasttothewallsofhamelin.beyondthatyouwouldhavehadtobemorechildishtofollow.butlethimplayhisowntunetothewordssetdown,sothatifallistoodull,theartofmusicmaybeartheblame.

"women,"saidjudsontate,aremysteriouscreatures.

myspiritssank.iwasnottheretolistentosuchaworld-oldhypothesis—tosuchatime-worn,long-ago-refuted,bald,feeble,illogical,vicious,patentsophistrytoanancient,baseless,wearisome,ed,unfounded,insidiousfalsehoodoriginatedbywomenthemselvesandbytheminsinuated,foisted,thrust,spread,andingeniouslypromulgatedintotheearsofmankindbyunderhanded,secret,anddeceptivemethods,forthepurposeofaugmenting,furthering,andreinforcingtheirowncharmsanddesigns.

oh,idon'tknow!saidi,vernacularly.

haveyoueverheardoforatama?heasked.

possibly,ianswered.iseemtorecallatoedancer—orasuburbanaddition—orwasitaperfume?—ofsomesuchname.

"itisatown,"saidjudsontate,"onthecoastofaforeigncountryofwhichyouknownothingandcouldunderstandless.itisacountrygovernedbyadictatorandcontrolledbyrevolutionsandinsubordination.itwastherethatagreatlife-dramawasplayed,withjudsontate,thehomeliestmaninamerica,andfergusmcmahan,thehandsomestadventurerinhistoryorfiction,andsenoritaanabelazamora,thebeautifuldaughterofthealcaldeoforatama,aschiefactors.and,anotherthing—nowhereelseontheglobeexceptinthedepartmentoftrientaytresinuruguaydoesthechuchulaplantgrow.theproductsofthecountryispeakofarevaluablewoods,dyestuffs,gold,rubber,ivoryandcocoa."

iwasnotaware,saidi,thatsouthamericaproducedanyivory.

thereyouaretwicemistaken,saidjudsontare,distributingthewordsoveratleastanoctaveofhiswonderfulvoice."ididnotsaythatthecountryispokeofwasinsouthamerica—imustbecareful,mydearman;ihavebeeninpoliticsthere,youknow.but,evenso—ihaveplayedchessagainstitspresidentwithasetcarvedfromthenasalbonesofthetapir—oneofournativespecimensoftheorderofperissodactyleungulatesinhabitingthecordilleras—whichwasasprettyivoryasyouwouldcaretosee.

"butitwasofromanceandadventureandthewaysofwomanthatiwasgoingtotellyou,andnotofzoologicalanimals.

"forfifteenyearsiwastherulingpowerbehindoldsanchobenavides,theroyalhighthumbscrewoftherepublic.you'veseenhispictureinthepapers—amushyblackmanwithwhiskerslikethenotesonaswissmusic-boxcylinder,andascrollinhisrighthandliketheonestheywritebirthsoninthefamilybible.well,thatchocolatepotentateusedtobetheestitemofinterestanywherebetweenthecolorlineandtheparallelsoflatitude.itwasthreethrows,horses,whetherhewastowindupinthehalloffameorthebureauofcombustibles.he'dhavebeensurecalledtherooseveltofthesoutherncontinentifithadn'tbeenthatgroverclevelandwaspresidentatthetime.he'dholdofficeacoupleofterms,thenhe'dsitoutforahand—alwaysafterappointinghisownessorfortheinterims.

"butitwasnotbenavides,theliberator,whowasmakingallthisfameforhimself.nothim.itwasjudsontate.benavideswasonlythechipoverthebug.igavehimthetipwhentodeclarewarandincreaseimportdutiesandwearhisstatetrousers.butthatwasn'twhatiwantedtotellyou.howdidigettobeit?i'lltellyou.becausei'mthemostgiftedtalkerthatevermadevocalsoundssinceadamfirstopenedhiseyes,pushedasidethesmelling-salts,andasked:'whereami?’"asyouobserve,iamabouttheugliestmanyoueversawoutsideofthegalleryofphotographsofthenewenglandearlychristianscientists.so,atanearlyage,iperceivedthatwhatilackedinlooksimustmakeupineloquence.thati'vedone.igetwhatigoafter.astheback-stopandstillsmallvoiceofoldbenavidesimadeallthegreathistoricalpowers-behind-the-throne,suchastalleyrand,mrs.depompadour,andloeb,lookassmallastheminorityreportofaduma.icouldtalknationsintooroutofdebt,haranguearmiestosleeponthebattlefield,reduceinsurrections,inflammations,taxes,appropriationsorsurpluseswithafewwords,andcallupthedogsofwarorthedoveofpeacewiththesamebird-likewhistle.beautyandepaulettesandcurlymoustachesandgrecianprofilesinothermenwereneverinmyway.whenpeoplefirstlookatmetheyshudder.unlesstheyareinthelaststagesofanginapectoristheyaremineintenminutesafteribegintotalk.womenandmen—iwin'emastheycome.now,youwouldn'tthinkwomenwouldfancyamanwithafacelikemine,wouldyou?"

"oh,yes,mr.tate,"saidi."historyisbrightandfictiondullwithhomelymenwhohavecharmedwomen.thereseems—"

"pardonme,"interruptedjudsontate,"butyoudon'tquiteunderstand.youhaveyettohearmystory.

"fergusmemahanwasafriendofmineinthecapital.forahandsomemani'lladmithewastheduty-freemerchandise.hehadblondcurlsandlaughingblueeyesandwasfeaturedregular.theysaidhewasaringerforthestatuetheycallherrmees,thegodofspeechandeloquencerestinginsomemuseumatrome.somegermananarchist,isuppose,theyarealwaysrestingandtalking.

"buteerguswasnotalker.hewasbroughtupwiththeideathattobebeautifulwastomakegood.hisconversationwasaboutasedifyingaslisteningtoaleakdroppinginatindish-panattheheadofthebedwhenyouwanttogotosleep.butheandmegottobefriends—maybebecausehewassoopposite,don'tyouthink?lookingatthehalloweenmaskthaticallmyfacewheni'mshavingseemedtogiveferguspleasure;andi'msurethatwheneveriheardthefeebleoutputofthroatnoisesthathecalledconversationifeltcontentedtobeagargoylewithasilvertongue.

"onetimeifounditnecessarytogodowntothiscoasttownoforatamatostraightenoutalotofpoliticalunrestandchopoffafewheadsinthecustomsandmilitarydepartments.fergus,whoownedtheiceandsulphur-matchconcessionsoftherepublic,sayshe'llkeepmecompany.

"so,inajangleofmule-trainbells,wegallopsintooratama,andthetownbelongedtousasmuchaslongislandsounddoesn'tbelongtojapanwhent.r.isatoysterbay.isayus;butimeanme.everybodyforfournations,twooceans,onebayandisthmus,andfivearchipelagoesaroundhadheardofjudsonfate.gentlemanadventurer,theycalledme.ihadbeenwrittenupinfivecolumnsoftheyellowjournals,40,000words(withmarginaldecorations)inamonthlymagazine,andastickfulonthetwelfthpageofthenewyorktimes.ifthebeautyoffergusmcmahangainedanypartofourreceptioninoratama,i'lleattheprice-taginmypanama.itwasmethattheyhungoutpaperflowersandpalmbranchesfor.iamnotajealousman;iamstatingfacts.thepeoplewerenebuchadnezzars;theybitthegrassbeforeme;therewasnodustinthetownforthemtobite.theyboweddowntojudsontate.theyknewthatiwasthepowerbehindsanchobenavides.awordfrommewasmoretothemthanawholedeckle-edgedlibraryfromeastaurorainsectionalbookcaseswasfromanybodyelse.andyettherearepeoplewhospendhoursfixingtheirfaces—rubbingincoldcreamandmassagingthemuscles(alwaystowardtheeyes)andtakingintheslackwithtinctureofbenzoinandelectrolyzingmoles—towhatend?lookinghandsome.oh,whatamistake!it'sthelarynxthatthebeautydoctorsoughttoworkon.it'swordsmorethanwarts,talkmorethantalcum,palavermorethanpowder,blarneymorethanbloomthatcounts—thephonographinsteadofthephotograph.butiwasgoingtotellyou.

"thelocalastorsputmeandfergusupatthecentipedeclub,aframebuildingbuiltonpostssunkin-thesurf.thetide'sonlynineinches.thelittlebighighlowjack-inthe-gameofthetowncamearoundandkowtowed.oh,itwasn'ttoherrmces.theyhadheardaboutjudsontate.

"oneafternoonmeandfergusmcmahanwassittingontheseawardgalleryofthecentipede,drinkingicedrumandtalking.

"'judson,’saysfergus,'there'sanangelinoratama.’

"'solong,’saysi,'asitain'tgabriel,whytalkasifyouhadheardatrumpblow?’

"'it'sthesenoritaanabelazamora,’saysfergus.'she's—she's—she'saslovelyas—ashell?"

"'bravo!’saysi,laughingheartily.'youhaveatruelover'seloquencetopaintthebeautiesofyourinamorata.youremindme,’saysi,'offaust'swooingofmarguerite—thatis,ifhewooedherafterhewentdownthetrap-doorofthestage?’

"'judson,’saysfergus,'youknowyouareasbeautilessasarhi-noceros.youcan'thaveanyinterestinwomen.i'mawfullygoneinmissanabela.andthat'swhyi'mtellingyou.’

"'oh,seguramente,’saysi.'iknowihaveafrontelevationlikeanaztecgodthatguardsaburiedtreasurethatneverdidexistinjeffersoncounty,yucatan.buttherearecompensations.forinstance,iamitinthiscountryasfarastheeyecanreach,andthenafewperchesandpoles.andagain,’saysi,'wheniengagepeopleinaset-tooforal,vocal,andlaryngealutterances,idonotusuallyconfinemysideoftheargumenttowhatmaybelikenedtoacheapphonographicreproductionoftheravingsofajellyfish.’

"'oh,ikonw,’saysfergus,amiable,'thati'mnothandyatsmalltalk.orlarge,either.that'swhyi'mtellingyou.iwantyoutohelpme.’

"'howcanidoit?’"iasked.

"'ihavesubsidized,’saysfergus,'theservicesofsenoritaanabela'sduenna,whosenameisfrancesca.youhaveareputationinthiscountry,judson,’saysfergus,'ofbeingagreatmanandahero.’

"'ihave,’saysi.'andideserveit.’

"'andi,’saysfergus,'amthebest-lookingmanbetweenthearcticcircleandantarcticicepack.’

"'withlimitations,’saysi,'astophysiognomyandgeography,ifreelyconcedeyoutobe.’

"'betweenthetwoofus,’saysfergus,'weoughttolandthesenoritaanabelazamora.thelady,asyouknow,isofanoldspanishfamily,andfurtherthanlookingatherdrivinginthefamilycarruajeofafternoonsaroundtheplaza,orcatchingaglimpseofherthroughabarredwindowofevenings,sheisasunapproachableasastar.’

"'landherforwhichoneofus?’saysi.

"'forme,ofcourse,’saysfergus.'you'veneverseenher.now,i'vehadfrancescapointmeouttoherasbeingyouonseveraloccasions.whensheseesmeontheplaza,shethinksshe'slookingatdonjudsontate,thegreatesthero,statesman,andromanticfigureinthecountry.withyourreputationandmylookscombinedinoneman,howcansheresisthim?she'sheardallaboutyourthrillinghistory,ofcourse.andshe'sseenme.cananywomanwantmore?’asksfergusmcmahan.

"'canshedowithless?’iask.'howcanweseparateourmutualattractions,andhowshallweapportiontheproceeds?’

"thenfergustellsmehisscheme.

"thehouseofthealcalde,donluiszamora,hesays,hasapatio,ofcourse—akindofinnercourtyardopeningfromthestreet.inanangleofitishisdaughter'swindow—asdarkaplaceasyoucouldfind.andwhatdoyouthinkhewantsmetodo?why,knowingmyfreedom,charm,andskilfnessoftongue,heproposesthatigointothepatioatmidnight,whenthehobgoblinfaceofmecannotbeseen,andmakelovetoherforhim—fortheprettymanthatshehasseenontheplaza,thinkinghimtobedonjudsontate.

"whyshouldn'tidoitforhim—formyfriend,fergusmcmahan?forhimtoaskmewasacompliment—anacknowledgmentofhisownshortcomings.

"'youlittle,lilywhite,fine-haired,highlypolishedpieceofdumbsculpture,’saysi,'i'llhelpyou.makeyourarrangementsandgetmeinthedarkoutsideherwindowandmystreamofconversatinopenedupwiththemoonlighttremolostopturnedon,andshe'syours.’

"'keepyourfacehid,jud,’saysfergus.'forheaven'ssake,keepyourfacehid.i'mafriendofyoursinallkindsofsentiment,butthisisabusinessdeal.ificouldtalkiwouldn'taskyou.butseeingmeandlisteningtoyouidon'tseewhyshecan'tbelanded.’

"'byyou?’saysi.

"'byme,’saysfergus.

"well,fergusandtheduenna,francesca,attendedtothedetails.andonenighttheyfetchedmealongblackcloakwithahighcollar,andledmetothehouseatmidnight.istoodbythewindowinthepatiountiliheardavoiceassoftandsweetasanangel'swhisperontheothersideofthebars.icouldseeonlyafaint,whitecladshapeinside;and,truetofergus,ipulledthecollarofanycloakhighup,foritwasjulyinthewetseason,andthenightswerechilly.and,smotheringalaughasithoughtofthetongue-tiedfergus,ibegantotalk.

"well,sir,italkedanhouratthesenoritaauabela.isay'at’becauseitwasnot'with.’nowandthenshewouldsay:'oh,senor,’or'now,ain'tyoufoolin’?’or'iknowyoudon'tmeanthat’andsuchthingsaswomenwillwhentheyarebeingrightlycourted.bothofusknewenglishandspanish;sointwolanguagesitriedtowintheheartoftheladyformyfriendfergus.butforthebarstothewindowicouldhavedoneitinone.attheendofthehourshedismissedmeandgavemeabig,redrose.ihandeditovertoferguswhenigothome.