第6章TheLove-philtreofIkeySchoenstein

第6章thelove-philtreofikeyschoenstein

thebluelightdrugstoreisdowntown,betweentheboweryandfirstavenue,wherethedistancebetweenthetwostreetsistheshortest.thebluelightdoesnotconsiderthatpharmacyisathingofbric-a-brac,scentandice-creamsoda.ifyouaskitforpain-killeritwillnotgiveyouabonbon.

thebluelightscornsthelabor-savingartsofmodernpharmacy.itmaceratesitsopiumandpercolatesitsownlaudanumandparegoric.tothisdaypillsaremadebehinditstallpreiondesk—pillsrolledoutonitsownpill-tile,dividedwithaspatula,rolledwiththefingerandthumb,dustedwithcalcinedmagnesiaanddeliveredinlittleround,pasteboardpill-boxes.thestoreisonacorneraboutwhichcoveysofed-plumed,hilariouschildrenplayandbecomecandidatesforthecoughdropsandsoothingsyrupsthatwaitfortheminside.

ikeyschoensteinwasthenightclerkofthebluelightandthefriendofhiscustomers.thusitisontheeastside,wheretheheartofpharmacyisnotglace.there,asitshouldbe,theistisacounsellor,aconfessor,anadviser,anableandwillingmissionaryandmentorwhoselearningisrespected,whoseoccultwisdomisveneratedandwhosemedicineisoftenpoured,untasted,intothegutter.thereforeikey'scorniform,be-spectaclednoseandnarrow,knowledge-bowedfigurewaswellknowninthevicinityofthebluelight,andhisadviceandnoticeweremuchdesired.

ikeyroomedandbreakfastedatmrs.riddle's,twosquaresaway.mrs.riddlehadadaughternamedrosy.thecircumlocutionhasbeeninvain—youmusthaveguessedit—ikeyadoredrosy.shetincturedallhisthoughts;shewasthecompoundextractofallthatwaschemicallypureandoffieinal—thedispensatorycontainednothingequaltoher.butikeywastimid,andhishopesremainedinsolubleinthemenstruumofhisbackwardnessandfears.behindhiscounterhewasasuperiorbeing,calmlyconsciousofspecialknowledgeandworth;outside,hewasaweak-kneed,purblind,motorman-cursedrambler,withill-fittingclothesstainedwithchemicalsandsmellingofsocotrinealoesandvalerianateofammonia.

theflyinikey'sointment(thricewelcome,pattrope!)waschunkmcgowan.

mr.mcgowanwasalsostrivingtocatchthebrightsmilestossedaboutbyrosy.buthewasnooutfielderasikeywas;hepickedthemoffthebat.atthesametimehewasikey'sfriendandcustomer,andoftendroppedinatthebluelightdrugstoretohaveabruisepaintedwithiodineorgetacutrubber-plasteredafterapleasanteveningspentalongthebowery.

oneafternoonmcgowandriftedinhissilent,easyway,andsat,comely,smooth-faced,hard,indomitable,good-natured,uponastool.

"ikey,"saidhe,whenhisfriendhadfetchedhismortarandsatopposite,grindinggumbenzointoapowder,"getbusywithyourear.it'sdrugsformeifyou'vegotthelineineed."

ikeyscannedthecountenanceofmr.megowanfortheusualev-idencesofconflict,butfoundnone.

"takeyourcoatoff,"heordered."iguessalreadythatyouhavebeenstuckintheribswithaknife.ihavemanytimestoldyouthosedagoeswoulddoyouup."

mr.mcgowansmiled."notthem,"hesaid."notanydagoes.butyou'velocatedthediagnosisallrightenough—it'sundermycoat,neartheribs.say!ikey—rosyandmearegoin'torunawayandgetmarriedtonight."

ikey'sleftforefingerwasdoubledovertheedgeofthemortar,holdingitsteady,hegaveitawildrapwiththepestle,butfeltitnot.meanwhilemr.megowan'ssmilefadedtoalookofperplexedgloom.

"thatis,"hecontinued,"ifshekeepsinthenotionuntilthetimecomes.we'vebeenlayin'pipesforthegetawayfortwoweeks.onedayshesaysshewill;thesameevenin'shesaysnixy.we'veagreedontonight,androsy'sstucktotheaffirmativethistimefortwowholedays.butit'sfivehoursyettillthetime,andi'mafraidshe'llstandmeupwhenitcomestothescratch."

"yousaidyouwanteddrugs,"remarkedikey.

mr.mcgowanlookedillateaseandharassed—aconditionopposedtohisusuallineofdemeanor.hemadeapatent-medicinealmanacintoarollandfitteditwithunprofitablecarefulnessabouthisfinger.

"iwouldn'thavethisdoublehandicapmakeafalsestarttonightforamillion,"hesaid."i'vegotalittleflatupinharlemallready,withchrysanthemumsonthetableandakettlereadytoboil.andi'veengagedapulpitpoundertobereadyathishouseforusat9:30.it'sgottocomeoff.andifrosydon'tchangehermindagain!"—mr.mcgowanceased,apreytohisdoubts.

"idon'tseethenyet,"saidikey,shortly,"whatmakesitthatyoutalkofdrugs,orwhaticanbedoingaboutit."

"oldmanriddledon'tlikemealittlebit,"wentontheuneasysuitor,bentuponmarshallinghisarguments."foraweekhehasn'tletrosystepoutsidethedoorwithme.ifitwasn'tforlosin'aboarderthey'dhavebouncedmelongago.i'mmakin'$20aweekandshe'llneverregretflyin'thecoopwithchunkmcgowan."

"youwillexcuseme,chunk,"saidikey."imustmakeapreionthatistobecalledforsoon."

"say,"saidmcgowan,lookingupsuddenly,"say,ikey,ain'tthereadrugofsomekind—somekindofpowdersthat'llmakeagirllikeyoubetterifyougive'emtoher?"

ikey'slipbeneathhisnosecurledwiththescornofsuperiorenlightenment;butbeforehecouldanswer,megowancontinued:

"timlacytoldmehegotsomeoncefromacroakeruptownandfed'emtohisgirlinsodawater.fromtheveryfirstdosehewasacehighandeverybodyelselookedlikethirtycentstoher.theywasmarriedinlessthantwoweeks."

strongandsimplewaschunkmcgowan.abetterreaderofmenthanikeywascouldhaveseenthathistoughframewasstrunguponfinewires.likeagoodgeneralwhowasabouttoinvadetheenemy'sterritoryhewasseekingtoguardeverypointagainstpossiblefailure.

"ithought,"wentonchunkhopefully,"thatifihadoneofthempowderstogiverosywheniseeheratsuppertonightitmightbraceherupandkeepherfromrenegingonthepropositiontoskip.iguessshedon'tneedamuleteamtodragheraway,butwomenarebetteratcoachingthantheyareatrunningbases.ifthestuff'llworkjustforacoupleofhoursit'lldothetrick."

"whenisthisfoolishnessofrunningawaytobehappening?"askedikey.

"nineo'clock,"saidmr.mcgowan."supper'satseven.ateightrosygoestobedwithaheadache.atnineoldparvenzanoletsmethroughtohisbackyard,wherethere'saboardoffriddle'sfence,nextdoor.igounderherwindowandhelpherdownthefire-escape.we'vegottomakeitearlyonthepreacher'saccount.it'salldeadeasyifrosydon'tbalkwhentheflagdrops.canyoufixmeoneofthempowders,ikey?"

ikeyschoensteinrubbedhisnoseslowly.

"chunk,"saidhe,"itisofdrugsofthatnaturethatpharmaceutistsmusthavemuchcarefulness.toyoualoneofmyacquaintancewouldiintrustapowderlikethat.butforyouishallmakeit,andyoushallseehowitmakesrosytothinkofyou."

ikeywentbehindthepreiondesk.therehecrushedtoapowdertwosolubletablets,eachcontainingaquarterofagrainofmorphia.tothemheaddedalittlesugarofmilktoincreasethebulk,andfoldedthemixtureneatlyinawhitepaper.takenbyanadultthispowderwouldinsureseveralhoursofheavyslumberwithoutdangertothesleeper.thishehandedtochunkmcgowan,tellinghimtoadministeritinaliquidifpossible,andreceivedtheheartythanksofthebackyardlochinvar.

thesubtletyofikey'sactionbecomesapparentuponrecitalofhissubsequentmove.hesentamessengerformr.riddleanddisclosedtheplansofmr.mcgowanforelopingwithrosy.mr.riddlewasastoutman,brick-dustyofcomplexionandsuddeninaction.

"muchobliged,"hesaid,briefly,toikey."thelazyirishloafer!myownroom'sjustaboverosy's.i'lljustgouptheremyseffaftersupperandloadtheshot-gunandwait.ifhecomesinmybackyardhe'llgoawayinanambulanceinsteadofabridalchaise."

withrosyheldintheclutchesofmorpheusforamany-hoursdeepslumber,andthebloodthirstyparentwaiting,armedandforewarned,ikeyfeltthathisrivalwasclose,indeed,upondiscomfiture.

allnightinthebluelightdrugstorehewaitedathisdutiesforchancenewsofthetragedy,butnonecame.

ateighto'clockinthemorningthedayclerkarrivedandikeystartedhurriedlyformrs.riddle'stolearntheoutcome.and,lo!ashesteppedoutofthestorewhobutchunkmcgowansprangfromapassingstreetcarandgraspedhishand—chunkmcgowanwithavictor'ssmileandflushedwithjoy.

"pulleditoff,"saidchunkwithelysiuminhisgrin."rosybitthefire-escapeontimetoasecond,andwewasunderthewireatthereverend'sat9:30.she'supattheflat—shecookedeggsthismornin'inabluekimono—lord!howluckyiam!yonmustpaceupsomeday,ikey,andfeedwithus.i'vegotajobdownnearthebridge,andthat'swherei'mheadingfornow."

"the—the—powder?"stammeredikey.

"oh,thatstuffyougaveme!"saidchunk,broadeninghisgrin;"well,itwasthisway.isatdownatthesuppertablelastnightatriddle's,andilookedatrosy,andisaystomyself,'chunk,ifyougetthegirlgetheronthesquare—don'ttryanyhocus-pocuswithathoroughbredlikeher.’andikeepsthepaperyougivemeinmypocket.andthenmylampsfallonanotherpartypresent,who,isaystomyself,isfailin'inaproperaffectiontowardhiscomin'son-inlaw,soiwatchesmychanceanddumpsthatpowderinoldmanriddle'scoffee—see?"