第98章

第98章“that’snomatter,”answeredporfirypetrovitch,receivinghisexplanationofhispecuniarypositioncoldly,“butyoucan,ifyouprefer,writestraighttome,tosay,thathavingbeeninformedofthematter,andclaimingsuchandsuchasyourproperty,youbeg…”

“onanordinarysheetofpaper?”raskolnikovinterruptedeagerly,againinterestedinthefinancialsideofthequestion.

“oh,themostordinary,”andsuddenlyporfirypetrovitchlookedwithobviousironyathim,screwinguphiseyesand,asitwere,winkingathim.butperhapsitwasraskolnikov’sfancy,foritalllastedbutamoment.therewascertainlysomethingofthesort,raskolnikovcouldhaveswornhewinkedathim,goodnessknowswhy.

“heknows,”flashedthroughhismindlikelightning.

“forgivemytroublingyouaboutsuchtrifles,”hewenton,alittledisconcerted,“thethingsareonlyworthfiveroubles,butiprizethemparticularlyforthesakeofthosefromwhomtheycametome,andimustconfessthatiwasalarmedwheniheard…”

“that’swhyyouweresomuchstruckwhenimentionedtozossimovthatporfirywasinquiringforeveryonewhohadpledges!”razumihinputinwithobviousintention.

thiswasreallyunbearable.raskolnikovcouldnothelpglancingathimwithaflashofvindictiveangerinhisblackeyes,butimmediatelyrecollectedhimself.

“youseemtobejeeringatme,brother?”hesaidtohim,withawell-feignedirritability.“idaresayidoseemtoyouabsurdlyanxiousaboutsuchtrash;butyoumustn’tthinkmeselfishorgraspingforthat,andthesetwothingsmaybeanythingbuttrashinmyeyes.itoldyoujustnowthatthesilverwatch,thoughit’snotworthacent,istheonlythingleftusofmyfather’s.youmaylaughatme,butmymotherishere,”heturnedsuddenlytoporfiry,“andifsheknew,”heturnedagainhurriedlytorazumihin,carefullymakinghisvoicetremble,“thatthewatchwaslost,shewouldbeindespair!youknowwhatwomenare!”

“notabitofit!ididn’tmeanthatatall!quitethecontrary!”shoutedrazumihindistressed.

“wasitright?wasitnatural?didioverdoit?”raskolnikovaskedhimselfinatremor.“whydidisaythataboutwomen?”

“oh,yourmotheriswithyou?”porfirypetrovitchinquired.

“yes.”

“whendidshecome?”

“night.”

porfirypausedasthoughreflecting.

“yourthingswouldnotinanycasebelost,”hewentoncalmlyandcoldly.“ihavebeenexpectingyouhereforsometime.”

andasthoughthatwasamatterofnoimportance,hecarefullyofferedtheash-traytorazumihin,whowasruthlesslyscatteringcigaretteashoverthecarpet.raskolnikovshuddered,butporfirydidnotseemtobelookingathim,andwasstillconcernedwithrazumihin’scigarette.

“what?expectinghim?why,didyouknowthathehadpledgesthere?”criedrazumihin.

porfirypetrovitchaddressedhimselftoraskolnikov.

“yourthings,theringandthewatch,werewrappeduptogether,andonthepaperyournamewaslegiblywritteninpencil,togetherwiththedateonwhichyouleftthemwithher…”

“howobservantyouare!”raskolnikovsmiledawkwardly,doinghisveryutmosttolookhimstraightintheface,buthefailed,andsuddenlyadded:

“isaythatbecauseisupposetherewereagreatmanypledges…thatitmustbedifficulttorememberthemall.…butyourememberthemallsoclearly,and…and…”

“stupid!feeble!”hethought.“whydidiaddthat?”

“butweknowallwhohadpledges,andyouaretheonlyonewhohasn’tcomeforward,”porfiryansweredwithhardlyperceptibleirony.

“ihaven’tbeenquitewell.”

“iheardthattoo.iheard,indeed,thatyouwereingreatdistressaboutsomething.youlookpalestill.”

“iamnotpaleatall.…no,iamquitewell,”raskolnikovsnappedoutrudelyandangrily,completelychanginghistone.hisangerwasmounting,hecouldnotrepressit.“andinmyangerishallbetraymyself,”flashedthroughhismindagain.“whyaretheytorturingme?”

“notquitewell!”razumihincaughthimup.“whatnext!hewasunconsciousanddeliriousallyesterday.wouldyoubelieve,porfiry,assoonasourbackswereturned,hedressed,thoughhecouldhardlystand,andgaveustheslipandwentoffonaspreesomewheretillmidnight,deliriousallthetime!wouldyoubelieveit!extraordinary!”

“reallydelirious?youdon’tsayso!”porfiryshookhisheadinawomanishway.

“nonsense!don’tyoubelieveit!butyoudon’tbelieveitanyway,”raskolnikovletslipinhisanger.butporfirypetrovitchdidnotseemtocatchthosestrangewords.

“buthowcouldyouhavegoneoutifyouhadn’tbeendelirious?”razumihingothotsuddenly.“whatdidyougooutfor?whatwastheobjectofit?andwhyonthesly?wereyouinyoursenseswhenyoudidit?nowthatalldangerisovericanspeakplainly.”

“iwasawfullysickofthemyesterday.”raskolnikovaddressedporfirysuddenlywithasmileofinsolentdefiance,“iranawayfromthemtotakelodgingswheretheywouldn’tfindme,andtookalotofmoneywithme.mr.zametovtheresawit.isay,mr.zametov,wasisensibleordeliriousyesterday;settleourdispute.”

hecouldhavestrangledzametovatthatmoment,sohatefulwerehisexpressionandhissilencetohim.

“inmyopinionyoutalkedsensiblyandevenartfully,butyouwereextremelyirritable,”zametovpronounceddryly.

“andnikodimfomitchwastellingmeto-day,”putinporfirypetrovitch,“thathemetyouverylatelastnightinthelodgingofamanwhohadbeenrunover.”

“andthere,”saidrazumihin,“weren’tyoumadthen?yougaveyourlastpennytothewidowforthefuneral.ifyouwantedtohelp,givefifteenortwentyeven,butkeepthreeroublesforyourselfatleast,butheflungawayallthetwenty-fiveatonce!”