第94章

第94章“iunderstand,iunderstand…ofcourse…whydoyoulookatmyroomlikethat?mymotherhasjustsaiditislikeatomb.”

“yougaveuseverythingyesterday,”soniasaidsuddenly,inreply,inaloudrapidwhisper;andagainshelookeddowninconfusion.herlipsandchinweretremblingoncemore.shehadbeenstruckatoncebyraskolnikov’spoorsurroundings,andnowthesewordsbrokeoutspontaneously.asilencefollowed.therewasalightindounia’seyes,andevenpulcheriaalexandrovnalookedkindlyatsonia.

“rodya,”shesaid,gettingup,“weshallhavedinnertogether,ofcourse.come,dounia.…andyou,rodya,hadbettergoforalittlewalk,andthenrestandliedownbeforeyoucometoseeus.…iamafraidwehaveexhaustedyou.…”

“yes,yes,i’llcome,”heanswered,gettingupfussily.“butihavesomethingtoseeto.”

“butsurelyyouwillhavedinnertogether?”criedrazumihin,lookinginsurpriseatraskolnikov.“whatdoyoumean?”

“yes,yes,iamcoming…ofcourse,ofcourse!andyoustayaminute.youdonotwanthimjustnow,doyou,mother?orperhapsiamtakinghimfromyou?”

“oh,no,no.andwillyou,dmitriprokofitch,dousthefavourofdiningwithus?”

“pleasedo,”addeddounia.

razumihinbowed,positivelyradiant.foronemoment,theywereallstrangelyembarrassed.

“good-bye,rodya,thatistillwemeet.idonotlikesayinggood-bye.good-bye,nastasya.ah,ihavesaidgood-byeagain.”

pulcheriaalexandrovnameanttogreetsonia,too;butitsomehowfailedtocomeoff,andshewentinaflutteroutoftheroom.

butavdotyaromanovnaseemedtoawaitherturn,andfollowinghermotherout,gavesoniaanattentive,courteousbow.sonia,inconfusion,gaveahurried,frightenedcurtsy.therewasalookofpoignantdiscomfortinherface,asthoughavdotyaromanovna’scourtesyandattentionwereoppressiveandpainfultoher.

“dounia,good-bye,”calledraskolnikov,inthepassage.“givemeyourhand.”

“why,ididgiveittoyou.haveyouforgotten?”saiddounia,turningwarmlyandawkwardlytohim.

“nevermind,giveittomeagain.”andhesqueezedherfingerswarmly.

douniasmiled,flushed,pulledherhandaway,andwentoffquitehappy.

“come,that’scapital,”hesaidtosonia,goingbackandlookingbrightlyather.“godgivepeacetothedead,thelivinghavestilltolive.thatisright,isn’tit?”

sonialookedsurprisedatthesuddenbrightnessofhisface.helookedatherforsomemomentsinsilence.thewholehistoryofthedeadfatherfloatedbeforehismemoryinthosemoments.…

“heavens,dounia,”pulcheriaalexandrovnabegan,assoonastheywereinthestreet,“ireallyfeelrelievedmyselfatcomingaway—moreatease.howlittledidithinkyesterdayinthetrainthaticouldeverbegladofthat.”

“itellyouagain,mother,heisstillveryill.don’tyouseeit?perhapsworryingaboutusupsethim.wemustbepatient,andmuch,muchcanbeforgiven.”

“well,youwerenotverypatient!”pulcheriaalexandrovnacaughtherup,hotlyandjealously.“doyouknow,dounia,iwaslookingatyoutwo.youaretheveryportraitofhim,andnotsomuchinfaceasinsoul.youarebothmelancholy,bothmoroseandhot-tempered,bothhaughtyandbothgenerous.…surelyhecan’tbeanegoist,dounia.eh?whenithinkofwhatisinstoreforusthisevening,myheartsinks!”

“don’tbeuneasy,mother.whatmustbe,willbe.”

“dounia,onlythinkwhatapositionwearein!whatifpyotrpetrovitchbreaksitoff?”poorpulcheriaalexandrovnablurtedout,incautiously.

“hewon’tbeworthmuchifhedoes,”answereddounia,sharplyandcontemptuously.

“wedidwelltocomeaway,”pulcheriaalexandrovnahurriedlybrokein.“hewasinahurryaboutsomebusinessorother.ifhegetsoutandhasabreathofair…itisfearfullycloseinhisroom.…butwhereisonetogetabreathofairhere?theverystreetsherefeellikeshut-uprooms.goodheavens!whatatown!…stay…thisside…theywillcrushyou—carryingsomething.why,itisapianotheyhavegot,ideclare…howtheypush!…iamverymuchafraidofthatyoungwoman,too.”

“whatyoungwoman,mother?

“why,thatsofyasemyonovna,whowastherejustnow.”

“why?”

“ihaveapresentiment,dounia.well,youmaybelieveitornot,butassoonasshecamein,thatveryminute,ifeltthatshewasthechiefcauseofthetrouble.…”

“nothingofthesort!”crieddounia,invexation.“whatnonsense,withyourpresentiments,mother!heonlymadeheracquaintancetheeveningbefore,andhedidnotknowherwhenshecamein.”

“well,youwillsee.…sheworriesme;butyouwillsee,youwillsee!iwassofrightened.shewasgazingatmewiththoseeyes.icouldscarcelysitstillinmychairwhenhebeganintroducingher,doyouremember?itseemssostrange,butpyotrpetrovitchwriteslikethatabouther,andheintroduceshertous—toyou!sohemustthinkagreatdealofher.”

“peoplewillwriteanything.weweretalkedaboutandwrittenabout,too.haveyouforgotten?iamsurethatsheisagoodgirl,andthatitisallnonsense.”

“godgrantitmaybe!”

“andpyotrpetrovitchisacontemptibleslanderer,”douniasnappedout,suddenly.

pulcheriaalexandrovnawascrushed;theconversationwasnotresumed.

“iwilltellyouwhatiwantwithyou,”saidraskolnikov,drawingrazumihintothewindow.

“theniwilltellkaterinaivanovnathatyouarecoming,”soniasaidhurriedly,preparingtodepart.

“oneminute,sofyasemyonovna.wehavenosecrets.youarenotinourway.iwanttohaveanotherwordortwowithyou.listen!”heturnedsuddenlytorazumihinagain.“youknowthat…what’shisname…porfirypetrovitch?”

“ishouldthinkso!heisarelation.why?”addedthelatter,withinterest.

“isnothemanagingthatcase…youknow,aboutthatmurder?…youwerespeakingaboutityesterday.”

“yes…well?”razumihin’seyesopenedwide.