第139章

第139章hefoundhimincrediblyinattentiveandirritable,thoughhe,andreysemyonovitch,beganenlargingonhisfavouritesubject,thefoundationofanewspecial“commune.”thebriefremarksthatdroppedfrompyotrpetrovitchbetweentheclickingofthebeadsonthereckoningframebetrayedunmistakableanddiscourteousirony.butthe“humane”andreysemyonovitchascribedpyotrpetrovitch’sill-humourtohisrecentbreachwithdouniaandhewasburningwithimpatiencetodiscourseonthattheme.hehadsomethingprogressivetosayonthesubjectwhichmightconsolehisworthyfriendand“couldnotfail”topromotehisdevelopment.

“thereissomesortoffestivitybeingpreparedatthat…atthewidow’s,isn’tthere?”pyotrpetrovitchaskedsuddenly,interruptingandreysemyonovitchatthemostinterestingpassage.

“why,don’tyouknow?why,iwastellingyoulastnightwhatithinkaboutallsuchceremonies.andsheinvitedyoutoo,iheard.youweretalkingtoheryesterday…”

“ishouldneverhaveexpectedthatarlyfoolwouldhavespentonthisfeastallthemoneyshegotfromthatotherfool,raskolnikov.iwassurprisedjustnowasicamethroughatthepreparationsthere,thewines!severalpeopleareinvited.it’sbeyondeverything!”continuedpyotrpetrovitch,whoseemedtohavesomeobjectinpursuingtheconversation.“what?yousayiamaskedtoo?whenwasthat?idon’tremember.butishan’tgo.whyshouldi?ionlysaidawordtoherinpassingyesterdayofthepossibilityofherobtainingayear’ssalaryasadestitutewidowofagovernmentclerk.isupposeshehasinvitedmeonthataccount,hasn’tshe?he-he-he!”

“idon’tintendtogoeither,”saidlebeziatnikov.

“ishouldthinknot,aftergivingherathrashing!youmightwellhesitate,he-he!”

“whothrashed?whom?”criedlebeziatnikov,flusteredandblushing.

“why,youthrashedkaterinaivanovnaamonthago.iheardsoyesterday…sothat’swhatyourconvictionsamountto…andthewomanquestion,too,wasn’tquitesound,he-he-he!”andpyotrpetrovitch,asthoughcomforted,wentbacktoclickinghisbeads.

“it’sallslanderandnonsense!”criedlebeziatnikov,whowasalwaysafraidofallusionstothesubject.“itwasnotlikethatatall,itwasquitedifferent.you’vehearditwrong;it’salibel.iwassimplydefendingmyself.sherushedatmefirstwithhernails,shepulledoutallmywhiskers.…it’spermissableforanyone,ishouldhope,todefendhimselfandineverallowanyonetouseviolencetomeonprinciple,forit’sanactofdespotism.whatwasitodo?isimplypushedherback.”

“he-he-he!”luzhinwentonlaughingmaliciously.

“youkeeponlikethatbecauseyouareoutofhumouryourself.…butthat’snonsenseandithasnothing,nothingwhatevertodowiththewomanquestion!youdon’tunderstand;iusedtothink,indeed,thatifwomenareequaltomeninallrespects,eveninstrength(asismaintainednow)thereoughttobeequalityinthat,too.ofcourse,ireflectedafterwardsthatsuchaquestionoughtnotreallytoarise,forthereoughtnottobefightingandinthefuturesocietyfightingisunthinkable…andthatitwouldbeaqueerthingtoseekforequalityinfighting.iamnotsostupid…though,ofcourse,thereisfighting…therewon’tbelater,butatpresentthereis…confoundit!howmuddledonegetswithyou!it’snotonthataccountthatiamnotgoing.iamnotgoingonprinciple,nottotakepartintherevoltingconventionofmemorialdinners,that’swhy!though,ofcourse,onemightgotolaughatit.…iamsorrytherewon’tbeanypriestsatit.ishouldcertainlygoiftherewere.”

“thenyouwouldsitdownatanotherman’stableandinsultitandthosewhoinvitedyou.eh?”

“certainlynotinsult,butprotest.ishoulddoitwithagoodobject.imightindirectlyassistthecauseofenlightenmentandpropaganda.it’sadutyofeverymantoworkforenlightenmentandpropagandaandthemoreharshly,perhaps,thebetter.imightdropaseed,anidea.…andsomethingmightgrowupfromthatseed.howshouldibeinsultingthem?theymightbeoffendedatfirst,butafterwardsthey’dseei’ddonethemaservice.youknow,terebyeva(whoisinthecommunitynow)wasblamedbecausewhensheleftherfamilyand…devoted…herself,shewrotetoherfatherandmotherthatshewouldn’tgoonlivingconventionallyandwasenteringonafreemarriageanditwassaidthatthatwastooharsh,thatshemighthavesparedthemandhavewrittenmorekindly.ithinkthat’sallnonsenseandthere’snoneedofsoftness;onthecontrary,what’swantedisprotest.varentshadbeenmarriedsevenyears,sheabandonedhertwochildren,shetoldherhusbandstraightoutinaletter:‘ihaverealisedthaticannotbehappywithyou.icanneverforgiveyouthatyouhavedeceivedmebyconcealingfrommethatthereisanotherorganisationofsocietybymeansofthecommunities.ihaveonlylatelylearneditfromagreat-heartedmantowhomihavegivenmyselfandwithwhomiamestablishingacommunity.ispeakplainlybecauseiconsideritdishonesttodeceiveyou.doasyouthinkbest.donothopetogetmeback,youaretoolate.ihopeyouwillbehappy.’that’showletterslikethatoughttobewritten!”

“isthatterebyevatheoneyousaidhadmadeathirdfreemarriage?”

“no,it’sonlythesecond,really!butwhatifitwerethefourth,whatifitwerethefifteenth,that’sallnonsense!andifeveriregrettedthedeathofmyfatherandmother,itisnow,andisometimesthinkifmyparentswerelivingwhataprotestiwouldhaveaimedatthem!iwouldhavedonesomethingonpurpose…iwouldhaveshownthem!iwouldhaveastonishedthem!iamreallysorrythereisnoone!”

“tosurprise!he-he!well,bethatasyouwill,”pyotrpetrovitchinterrupted,“buttellmethis;doyouknowthedeadman’sdaughter,thedelicate-lookinglittlething?it’struewhattheysayabouther,isn’tit?”