第65章
第65章“iknowyouhave,”heanswered.“i’veheardit.youlookedformysock.…andyouknowrazumihinhaslosthishearttoyou?hesaysyou’vebeenwithhimtoluiseivanovna’s—youknow,thewomanyoutriedtobefriend,forwhomyouwinkedtotheexplosivelieutenantandhewouldnotunderstand.doyouremember?howcouldhefailtounderstand—itwasquiteclear,wasn’tit?”
“whatahotheadheis!”
“theexplosiveone?”
“no,yourfriendrazumihin.”
“youmusthaveajollylife,mr.zametov;entrancefreetothemostagreeableplaces.who’sbeenpouringchampagneintoyoujustnow?”
“we’vejustbeen…havingadrinktogether.…youtalkaboutpouringitintome!”
“bywayofafee!youprofitbyeverything!”raskolnikovlaughed,“it’sallright,mydearboy,”headded,slappingzametovontheshoulder.“iamnotspeakingfromtemper,butinafriendlyway,forsport,asthatworkmanofyourssaidwhenhewasscufflingwithdmitri,inthecaseoftheoldwoman.…”
“howdoyouknowaboutit?”
“perhapsiknowmoreaboutitthanyoudo.”
“howstrangeyouare.…iamsureyouarestillveryunwell.yououghtn’ttohavecomeout.”
“oh,doiseemstrangetoyou?”
“yes.whatareyoudoing,readingthepapers?”
“yes.”
“there’salotaboutthefires.”
“no,iamnotreadingaboutthefires.”herehelookedmysteriouslyatzametov;hislipsweretwistedagaininamockingsmile.“no,iamnotreadingaboutthefires,”hewenton,winkingatzametov.“butconfessnow,mydearfellow,you’reawfullyanxioustoknowwhatiamreadingabout?”
“iamnotintheleast.mayn’tiaskaquestion?whydoyoukeepon…?”
“listen,youareamanofcultureandeducation?”
“iwasinthesixthclassatthegymnasium,”saidzametovwithsomedignity.
“sixthclass!ah,mycock-sparrow!withyourpartingandyourrings—youareagentlemanoffortune.foo!whatacharmingboy!”hereraskolnikovbrokeintoanervouslaughrightinzametov’sface.thelatterdrewback,moreamazedthanoffended.
“foo!howstrangeyouare!”zametovrepeatedveryseriously.“ican’thelpthinkingyouarestilldelirious.”
“iamdelirious?youarefibbing,mycock-sparrow!soiamstrange?youfindmecurious,doyou?”
“yes,curious.”
“shallitellyouwhatiwasreadingabout,whatiwaslookingfor?seewhatalotofpapersi’vemadethembringme.suspicious,eh?”
“well,whatisit?”
“youprickupyourears?”
“howdoyoumean—‘prickupmyears’?”
“i’llexplainthatafterwards,butnow,myboy,ideclaretoyou…no,better‘iconfess’…no,that’snotrighteither;‘imakeadepositionandyoutakeit.’ideposethatiwasreading,thatiwaslookingandsearching.…”hescreweduphiseyesandpaused.“iwassearching—andcamehereonpurposetodoit—fornewsofthemurderoftheoldpawnbrokerwoman,”hearticulatedatlast,almostinawhisper,bringinghisfaceexceedinglyclosetothefaceofzametov.zametovlookedathimsteadily,withoutmovingordrawinghisfaceaway.whatstruckzametovafterwardsasthestrangestpartofitallwasthatsilencefollowedforexactlyaminute,andthattheygazedatoneanotherallthewhile.
“whatifyouhavebeenreadingaboutit?”hecriedatlast,perplexedandimpatient.“that’snobusinessofmine!whatofit?”
“thesameoldwoman,”raskolnikovwentoninthesamewhisper,notheedingzametov’sexplanation,“aboutwhomyouweretalkinginthepolice-office,youremember,whenifainted.well,doyouunderstandnow?”
“whatdoyoumean?understand…what?”zametovbroughtout,almostalarmed.
raskolnikov’ssetandearnestfacewassuddenlytransformed,andhesuddenlywentoffintothesamenervouslaughasbefore,asthoughutterlyunabletorestrainhimself.andinoneflashherecalledwithextraordinaryvividnessofsensationamomentintherecentpast,thatmomentwhenhestoodwiththeaxebehindthedoor,whilethelatchtrembledandthemenoutsidesworeandshookit,andhehadasuddendesiretoshoutatthem,toswearatthem,toputouthistongueatthem,tomockthem,tolaugh,andlaugh,andlaugh!
“youareeithermad,or…”beganzametov,andhebrokeoff,asthoughstunnedbytheideathathadsuddenlyflashedintohismind.
“or?orwhat?what?come,tellme!”
“nothing,”saidzametov,gettingangry,“it’sallnonsense!”
bothweresilent.afterhissuddenfitoflaughterraskolnikovbecamesuddenlythoughtfulandmelancholy.heputhiselbowonthetableandleanedhisheadonhishand.heseemedtohavecompletelyforgottenzametov.thesilencelastedforsometime.
“whydon’tyoudrinkyourtea?it’sgettingcold,”saidzametov.
“what!tea?oh,yes.…”raskolnikovsippedtheglass,putamorselofbreadinhismouthand,suddenlylookingatzametov,seemedtoremembereverythingandpulledhimselftogether.atthesamemomenthisfaceresumeditsoriginalmockingexpression.hewentondrinkingtea.
“therehavebeenagreatmanyofthesecrimeslately,”saidzametov.“onlytheotherdayireadinthemoscownewsthatawholegangoffalsecoinershadbeencaughtinmoscow.itwasaregularsociety.theyusedtoforgetickets!”
“oh,butitwasalongtimeago!ireadaboutitamonthago,”raskolnikovansweredcalmly.“soyouconsiderthemcriminals?”headded,smiling.
“ofcoursetheyarecriminals.”