第671章

第671章“shehascometostaywithme，”saidprincessmarya.“thecountandthecountesswillbehereinafewdays.thecountessisinaterriblestate.butnatashaherselfhadtoseethedoctors.theymadehercomeawaywithme.”

“yes.isthereafamilywithoutitsownsorrow？”saidpierre，turningtonatasha.“youknowithappenedtheverydaywewererescued.isawhim.whatasplendidboyhewas！”

natashalookedathim，and，inanswertohiswords，hereyesonlyopenedwiderandgrewbrighter.

“whatcanonesay，orthink，togivecomfort？”saidpierre.“nothing.whyhadhetodie，suchanobleboy，sofulloflife？”

“yes；inthesedaysitwouldbehardtolivewithoutfaith…”saidprincessmarya.

“yes，yes.thatistrue，indeed，”pierreputinhurriedly.

“howso？”natashaasked，lookingintentlyintopierre’seyes.

“howso？”saidprincessmarya.“why，onlythethoughtofwhatawaits…”

natasha，notheedingprincessmarya’swords，lookedagaininquiringlyatpierre.

“andbecause，”pierrewenton，“onlyonewhobelievesthatthereisagodguidingourlivescanbearsuchalossashers，and…yours，”saidpierre.

natashaopenedhermouth，asthoughshewouldsaysomething，butshesuddenlystopped.

pierremadehastetoturnawayfromher，andtoaddressprincessmaryaagainwithaquestionaboutthelastdaysofhisfriend’slife.pierre’sembarrassmenthadbynowalmostdisappeared，butatthesametimehefeltthatallhisformerfreedomhadvanishedtoo.hefeltthattherewasnowajudgecriticisingeveryword，everyactionofhis；ajudgewhoseverdictwasofgreaterconsequencetohimthantheverdictofallthepeopleintheworld.ashetalkednowhewasconsideringtheimpressionhiswordsweremakingonnatashaasheutteredthem.hedidnotintentionallysaywhatmightpleaseher；butwhateverhesaid，helookedathimselffromherpointofview.

withtheunwillingnessusualinsuchcases，princessmaryabegantellingpierreofthepositioninwhichshehadfoundherbrother.butpierre’squestions，hiseagerlyrestlessglance，hisfacequiveringwithemotion，graduallyinducedhertogointodetailswhichsheshrank，forherownsake，fromrecallingtoherimagination.

“yes，yes，…”saidpierre，bendingforwardoverprincessmarya，andeagerlydrinkinginherwords.“yes，yes.sohefoundpeace？hewassoftened？hewasalwaysstrivingwithhiswholesoulforonethingonly：tobeentirelygood，sothathecouldnotdreaddeath.thedefectsthatwereinhim—ifhehadany—didnotcomefromhimself.sohewassoftened？”hesaid.

“whatahappythingthathesawyouagain，”hesaidtonatasha，turningsuddenlytoher，andlookingatherwitheyesfulloftears.

natasha’sfacequivered.shefrowned，andforaninstantdroppedhereyes.foramomentshehesitatedwhethertospeakornottospeak.

“yes，itwasagreathappiness，”shesaidinalow，deepvoice；“formeitwascertainlyagreathappiness.”shepaused.“andhe…he…hetoldmehewaslongingforittheverymomentiwentintohim…”natasha’svoicebroke.sheflushed，squeezedherhandsagainstherkneesandsuddenly，withanevidentefforttocontrolherself，sheliftedherheadandbeganspeakingrapidly：

“weknewnothingaboutitwhenwewereleavingmoscow.ididnotdareaskabouthim.andallatoncesonyatoldmehewaswithus.icouldthinkofnothing，ihadnoconceptioninwhatstatehewas；alliwantedwastoseehim—tobewithhim，”shesaid，tremblingandbreathless.andnotlettingtheminterrupther，shetoldallthatshehadneverspokenoftoanyonebefore；allshehadgonethroughinthosethreeweeksoftheirjourneyandtheirstayinyaroslavl.

pierreheardherwithpartedlipsandeyesfulloftearsfasteneduponher.ashelistenedtoher，hewasnotthinkingofprinceandrey，norofdeath，norofwhatshewassaying.heheardhervoiceandonlypitiedherfortheanguishshewasfeelingnowintellinghim.

theprincess，frowningintheefforttorestrainhertears，satbynatasha’ssideandheardforthefirsttimethestoryofthoselastdaysofherbrother’sandnatasha’slove.

tospeakofthatagonisingandjoyoustimewasevidentlynecessarytonatasha.

shetalkedon，minglingupthemostinsignificantdetailswiththemostsecretfeelingsofherheart，anditseemedasthoughshecouldneverfinish.severaltimesshesaidthesamethingtwice.

dessalle’svoicewasheardatthedooraskingwhethernikolushkamightcomeintosaygood-night.“andthatisall，all…”saidnatasha.shegotupquicklyatthemomentnikolushkawascomingin，andalmostrunningtothedoor，knockedherheadagainstitasitwashiddenbytheportière，andwithamoan，halfofpain，halfofsorrow，sherushedoutoftheroom.

pierregazedatthedoorbywhichshehadgoneout，andwonderedwhyhefeltsuddenlyaloneinthewideworld.

princessmaryarousedhimfromhisabstraction，callinghisattentiontohernephewwhohadjustcomeintotheroom.

thefaceofnikolushka，solikehisfather，hadsuchaneffectonpierreatthismomentofemotionaltension，that，afterkissingthechild，hegotuphimself，andtakingouthishandkerchief，walkedawaytothewindow.hewouldhavetakenleave，butprincessmaryawouldnotlethimgo.

“no，natashaandioftendonotgotobedtillpasttwo，pleasestayalittlelonger.wewillhavesupper.godownstairs，wewillcomeinamoment.”

beforepierrewentdown，theprincesssaidtohim：“itisthefirsttimeshehastalkedofhimlikethis.”