第400章

第400章aftertheuncompromisingrefusalhehadreceived,petyawenttohisownroom,andtherelockinghimselfin,heweptbitterly.allhisfamilybehavedasthoughtheynoticednothingwhenhecameintotea,silentanddepressedwithtear-stainedeyes.

nextday,thetsararrivedinmoscow.severaloftherostovs’servantsaskedpermissiontogoouttoseethetsar.thatmorningpetyaspentalongtimedressing.hecombedhishairandarrangedhiscollarlikeagrown-upman.hescreweduphiseyesbeforethelooking-glass,gesticulated,edhisshoulders,andfinally,withoutsayinganythingtoanyone,heputonhiscapandwentoutofthehousebythebackway,tryingtoescapeobservation.petyahadresolvedtogostraighttowherethetsarwas,andtoexplainfranklytosomegentleman-in-waiting（petyafanciedthatthetsarwasalwayssurroundedbygentlemen-in-waiting）thathe,countrostov,wished,inspiteofhisyouth,toservehiscountry,thatyouthcouldbenohindrancetodevotion,andthathewasready…petyahad,whilehewasdressing,preparedagreatmanyfinespeechestomaketothegentleman-in-waiting.

petyareckonedontheessofhispresentationtothetsarsimplybecausehewasachild（petyadreamed,indeed,ofhowtheywouldwonderathisyouth）,andyetinhisarrangementofhiscollar,andhishair,andinthesedate,deliberatewalkheadopted,hetriedtoactthepartofanelderlyman.butthefurtherhewent,themoreinterestedhebecameinthegrowingcrowdsaboutthekremlin,andheforgottokeepupthesedatenessanddeliberationcharacteristicofgrown-uppeople.ashegotclosertothekremlin,hebegantotrytoavoidbeingcrushed,andwitharesoluteandthreateningmien,stuckelbowsoutoneachsideofhim.butinspiteofhisdeterminedair,inthetoistskygatethecrowd,probablyunawareofhispatrioticobjectingoingtothekremlin,sopushedhimagainstthewall,thathewasobligedtosubmitandstandstill,whilecarriagesdroveinwitharumblingsoundunderthearchway.nearpetyastoodapeasantwoman,afootman,twomerchants,andadischargedsoldier.afterstandingforsometimeinthegateway,petya,notcaringtowaitforallthecarriagestopass,triedtopushonbeforetherest,andbeganresolutelyworkingawaywithhiselbows,butthepeasantwomanstandingnexthim,whowasthefirstpersonhepoked,shoutedangrilytohim：

“whyareyoushovingaway,littlemaster？youseeeverybody’sstandingstill.whatdoyouwanttopushfor？”

“what,ifeveryoneweretopushthen！”saidthefootman;andhetoosettingtoworkwithhiselbowsshovedpetyaintothestinkingcornerofthegateway.

petyarubbedthesweatoffhisfacewithhishands,andsetstraightthesoakingcollar,thathehadsocarefullyarrangedathomelikeagrown-upperson’s.

petyafeltthathelookedunpresentable,andwasafraidthatifheshowedhimselfinthisguisetothegentlemen-in-waiting,theywouldnotadmithimtothetsar’spresence.butthecrushgavehimnopossibilityofsettinghimselfstraightorgettingintoanotherplace.oneofthegeneralswhorodebywasanacquaintanceoftherostovs.petyawantedtoaskhimforhelp,butconsideredthiswouldbebelowhismanlydignity.whenallthecarriageshaddrivenby,thecrowdmadearush,andsweptpetyaalongwithitintothesquare,whichwasalreadyfullofpeople.notonlyinthesquare,butontheslopes,andtheroofs,andeverywheretherewerecrowdsofpeople.assoonaspetyagotintothesquare,heheardtheringingofbellsandthejoyoushumofthecrowdfillingthewholekremlin.

forawhilethecrushwaslessinthesquare,butallatonceallheadswerebared,andtherewasanotherrushforward.petyawassocrushedthathecouldhardlybreathe,andtherewasacontinualshouting：“hurrah！hurrah！hurrah！”

petyatip-toed,pushed,andpinched,buthecouldseenothingbutthecrowdaroundhim.

allthefacesworethesameexpressionofexcitementandenthusiasm.ashopkeeper’swifestandingnearpetyasobbed,andtearsfloweddownhercheeks.

“father,angel！”shekeptsaying,wipinghertearswithherfingers.

“hurrah！”shoutedthecrowdonallsides.

foraminutethecrowdremainedstationary;thentherewasanotherrushforward.

petya,besidehimselfwithexcitement,clenchedhisteeth,androllinghiseyessavagely,rushedforward,elbowinghiswayandshouting“hurrah！”asthoughhewerepreparedtokillhimselfandeveryoneelseatthatmoment,butjustassavagefacespushedoneachsideofhimwiththesameshoutsof“hurrah！”

“sothisisthetsar！”thoughtpetya.“no,icouldnevergivehimthepetitionmyself,itwouldbetoobold！”

inspiteofthat,hestillforcedhiswayforwardasdesperately,andoverthebacksofthoseinfrontofhimcaughtaglimpseofopenspacewithapassagecoveredwithredclothinthemidstofit.butatthatmomentthecrowdbeganheavingback;thepoliceinfrontwereforcingbackthosewhohadpressedtooclosetotheprocession.thetsarwaspassingfromthepalacetotheuspenskysobor.petyareceivedsuchasuddenblowintheribs,andwassosqueezed,thatallatonceamistpassedbeforehiseyes,andhelostconsciousness.whenhecametohimself,aclericalpersonage,withamaneofgreyhaironhisshoulders,inashabbybluecassock—probablyadeacon—washoldinghimupwithonearm,whilewiththeotherhekeptoffthecrowd.

“ayounggentleman’sbeencrushed！”thedeaconwassaying,“mindwhatyou’reabout！…easythere！…you’recrushinghim,you’recrushinghim！”