第215章

第215章“itellyouwhat,mydearfellow,”saidprinceandrey,whowasunmistakablydrearyandillateasewithhisvisitor,“i’msimplybivouackinghere;ionlycameovertohavealookatthings.i’mgoingbackagaintomysisterto-day.iwillintroduceyoutoher.butithinkyouknowher,though,”headded,obviouslytryingtoprovideentertainmentforhisguest,withwhomhenowfoundnothingincommon.“wewillsetoffafterdinner.andnowwouldyoucaretoseemyplace？”theywentoutandwalkedabouttilldinnertime,talkingofpoliticalnewsandcommonacquaintances,likepeoplenotveryintimate.theonlythingofwhichprinceandreynowspokewithsomeeagernessandinterestwasthenewbuildingsandhomesteadhewasbuilding;buteveninthemiddleofaconversationonthissubject,onthescaffolding,whenprinceandreywasdescribingtopierretheplanofthehouse,hesuddenlystopped.“there’snothinginterestinginthat,though,letusgointodinnerandsetoff.”

atdinnertheconversationfellonpierre’smarriage.

“iwasverymuchsurprisedwheniheardofit,”saidprinceandrey.

pierreblushedashealwaysdidatanyreferencetohismarriage,andsaidhurriedly：“i’lltellyouonedayhowitallhappened.butyouknowthatit’salloverandforever.”

“forever？”saidprinceandrey;“nothing’sforever.”

“butdoyouknowhowitallended？didyouhearoftheduel？”

“yes,youhadtogothroughthattoo！”

“theonethingforwhichithankgodisthatididn’tkillthatman,”saidpierre.

“whyso？”saidprinceandrey.“tokillaviciousdogisaverygoodthingtodo,really.”

“no,tokillamanisbad,wrong…”

“whyisitwrong？”repeatedprinceandrey;“what’srightandwrongisaquestionithasnotbeengiventomentodecide.menareforeverinerror,andalwayswillbeinerror,andinnothingmorethaninwhattheyregardasrightandwrong.”

“whatdoesharmtoanothermaniswrong,”saidpierre,feelingwithpleasurethatforthefirsttimesincehisarrivalprinceandreywasrousedandwasbeginningtospeakandeagertogiveexpressiontowhathadmadehimwhathenowwas.

“andwhohastoldyouwhatisharmtoanotherman？”heasked.

“harm？harm？”saidpierre;“weallknowwhatharmsourselves.”

“yes,weknowthat,butit’snotthesameharmweknowaboutforourselvesthatwedotoanotherman,”saidprinceandrey,growingmoreandmoreeager,andevidentlyanxioustoexpresstopierrehisnewviewofthings.hespokeinfrench.“ionlyknowtwoveryrealillsinlife,remorseandsickness.thereisnogoodexcepttheabsenceofthoseills.toliveformyselfsoastoavoidthesetwoevils：that’sthesumofmywisdomnow.”

“andloveforyourneighbour,andself-sacrifice？”beganpierre.“no,ican’tagreewithyou！tolivewiththesoleobjectofavoidingdoingevil,soasnottoberemorseful,that’sverylittle.iusedtoliveso,iusedtoliveformyself,andispoiltmylife.andonlynow,wheni’mliving,atleasttryingtolive”（modestyimpelledpierretocorrecthimself）“forothers,onlynowihavelearnttoknowallthehappinessoflife.no,idon’tagreewithyou,andindeed,youdon’tbelievewhatyou’resayingyourself.”

princeandreylookedatpierrewithoutspeaking,andsmiledironically.“well,you’llseemysistermarie.youwillgetonwithher,”saidhe.“perhapsyouarerightforyourself,”headded,afterabriefpause,“buteveryonelivesinhisownway;youusedtoliveforyourself,andyousaythatbydoingsoyoualmostspoiledyourlife,andhaveonlyknownhappinesssinceyoubegantoliveforothers.andmyexperiencehasbeenthereverse.iusedtoliveforglory.（andwhatisglory？thesameloveforothers,thedesiretodosomethingforthem,thedesireoftheirpraise.）inthatwayilivedforothers,andnotalmost,butquitespoiltmylife.andihavebecomemorepeacefulsinceiliveonlyformyself.”

“buthowareyoulivingonlyforyourself？”pierreasked,gettinghot.“whatofyourson,yoursister,yourfather？”

“yes,butthat’sallthesameasmyself,theyarenotothers,”saidprinceandrey;“butothers,one’sneighbours,asyouandmariecallthem,theyarethegreatsourceoferrorandevil.one’sneighboursarethose—yourkievpeasants—whomonewantstodogoodto.”

andhelookedatpierrewithaglanceofironicalchallenge.heunmistakablymeanttodrawhimon.

“youarejoking,”saidpierre,gettingmoreandmoreearnest.“whaterrorandevilcantherebeinmywishing（ihavedoneverylittleanddoneitverybadly）,butstillwishingtodogood,anddoingindeedsomethinganyway？wherecanbetheharmifunhappypeople,ourpeasants,peoplejustlikeourselves,growingupanddyingwithnootherideaofgodandthetruth,butasenselessprayerandceremony,iftheyareinstructedintheconsolingdoctrinesofafuturelife,ofretribution,andrecompenseandconsolation？whatharmanderrorcantherebeinmygivingthemdoctors,andahospital,andarefugefortheaged,whenmenaredyingofdiseasewithouthelp,anditissoeasytogivethemmaterialaid？andisn’ttherepalpable,incontestablegood,whenthepeasantsandthewomenwithyoungchildrenhavenorestdayornight,andigivethemleisureandrest？…”saidpierre,talkinghurriedlyandlisping.“andihavedonethat;badlyit’strue,andtoolittleofit,butihavedonesomethingtowardsit,andyou’llnotonlyfailtoshakemyconvictionthatihavedonewell,you’llnotevenshakemyconvictionthatyoudon’tbelievethatyourself.andthegreatthing,”pierrecontinued,“isthatiknowthisandknowitforacertainty—thattheenjoymentofdoingthisgoodistheonlyrealhappinessinlife.”