CHAPTER65TheWhaleasaDish

thatmortalmanshouldfeeduponthecreaturethatfeedshislamp,and,likestubb,eathimbyhisownlight,asyoumaysay;thisseemssooutlandishathingthatonemustneedsgoalittleintothehistoryandphilosophyofit.

itisuponrecord,thatthreecenturiesagothetongueoftherightwhalewasesteemedagreatdelicacyinfrance,andcommandedlargepricesthere.also,thatinhenryviiith'stime,acertaincookofthecourtobtainedahandsomerewardforinventinganadmirablesaucetobeeatenwithbarbacuedporpoises,which,youremember,areaspeciesofwhale.porpoises,indeed,aretothisdayconsideredfineeating.themeatismadeintoballsaboutthesizeofbilliardballs,andbeingwellseasonedandspicedmightbetakenforturtle-ballsorvealballs.theoldmonksofdunfermlinewereveryfondofthem.theyhadagreatporpoisegrantfromthecrown.

thefactis,thatamonghishuntersatleast,thewhalewouldbyallhandsbeconsideredanobledish,weretherenotsomuchofhim;butwhenyoucometositdownbeforeameat-pienearlyonehundredfeetlong,ittakesawayyourappetite.onlythemostunprejudicedofmenlikestubb,nowadayspartakeofcookedwhales;buttheesquimauxarenotsofastidious.weallknowhowtheyliveuponwhales,andhaverareoldvintagesofprimeoldtrainoil.zogranda,oneoftheirmostfamousdoctors,recommendsstripsofblubberforinfants,asbeingexceedinglyjuicyandnourishing.andthisremindsmethatcertainenglishmen,wholongagowereaccidentallyleftingreenlandbyawhalingvessel—thatthesemenactuallylivedforseveralmonthsonthemouldyscrapsofwhaleswhichhadbeenleftashoreaftertryingouttheblubber.amongthedutchwhalementhesescrapsarecalled"fritters";which,indeed,theygreatlyresemble,beingbrownandcrisp,andsmellingsomethinglikeoldamsterdamhousewives'dough-nutsoroly-cooks,whenfresh.theyhavesuchaneatablelookthatthemostselfdenyingstrangercanhardlykeephishandsoff.

butwhatfurtherdepreciatesthewhaleasacivilizeddish,ishisexceedingrichness.heisthegreatprizeoxofthesea,toofattobedelicatelygood.lookathishump,whichwouldbeasfineeatingasthebuffalo's(whichisesteemedararedish),wereitnotsuchasolidpyramidoffat.butthespermacetiitself,howblandandcreamythatis;likethetransparent,halfjellied,whitemeatofacocoanutinthethirdmonthofitsgrowth,yetfartoorichtosupplyasubstituteforbutter.nevertheless,manywhalemenhaveamethodofabsorbingitintosomeothersubstance,andthenpartakingofit.inthelongtrywatchesofthenightitisacommonthingfortheseamentodiptheirshipbiscuitintothehugeoil-potsandletthemfrythereawhile.manyagoodsupperhaveithusmade.

inthecaseofasmallspermwhalethebrainsareaccountedafinedish.thecasketoftheskullisbrokenintowithanaxe,andthetwoplump,whitishlobesbeingwithdrawn(preciselyresemblingtwolargepuddings),theyarethenmixedwithflour,andcookedintoamostdelectablemess,inflavorsomewhatresemblingcalves'head,whichisquiteadishamongsomeepicures;andeveryoneknowsthatsomeyoungbucksamongtheepicures,bycontinuallydininguponcalves'brains,byandbygettohavealittlebrainsoftheirown,soastobeabletotellacalf'sheadfromtheirownheads;which,indeed,requiresuncommondiscrimination.andthatisthereasonwhyayoungbuckwithanintelligentlookingcalf'sheadbeforehim,issomehowoneofthesaddestsightsyoucansee.theheadlooksasortofreproachfullyathim,withan"ettubrute!"expression.

itisnot,perhaps,entirelybecausethewhaleissoexcessivelyunctuousthatlandsmenseemtoregardtheeatingofhimwithabhorrence;thatappearstoresult,insomeway,fromtheconsiderationbeforementioned:i.e.thatamanshouldeatanewlymurderedthingofthesea,andeatittoobyitsownlight.butnodoubtthefirstmanthatevermurderedanoxwasregardedasamurderer;perhapshewashung;andifhehadbeenputonhistrialbyoxen,hecertainlywouldhavebeen;andhecertainlydeserveditifanymurdererdoes.gotothemeat-marketofasaturdaynightandseethecrowdsoflivebipedsstaringupatthelongrowsofdeadquadrupeds.doesnotthatsighttakeatoothoutofthecannibal'sjaw?cannibals?whoisnotacannibal?itellyouitwillbemoretolerableforthefejeethatsalteddownaleanmissionaryinhiscellaragainstacomingfamine;itwillbemoretolerableforthatprovidentfejee,isay,inthedayofjudgment,thanforthee,civilizedandenlightenedgourmand,whonailestgeesetothegroundandfeastestontheirbloatedliversinthypaté-de-foie-gras.

butstubb,heeatsthewhalebyitsownlight,doeshe?andthatisaddinginsulttoinjury,isit?lookatyourknife-handle,there,mycivilizedandenlightenedgourmanddiningoffthatroastbeef,whatisthathandlemadeof?—whatbutthebonesofthebrotheroftheveryoxyouareeating?andwhatdoyoupickyourteethwith,afterdevouringthatfatgoose?withafeatherofthesamefowl.andwithwhatquilldidthesecretaryofthesocietyforthesuppressionofcrueltytogandersformallyinditehiscirculars?itisonlywithinthelastmonthortwothatthatsocietypassedaresolutiontopatronizenothingbutsteelpens.