CHAPTER90HeadsorTails

"debalenaverosufficit,sirexhabeatcaput,etreginacaudam."bracton,l.3,c.3.

latinfromthebooksofthelawsofengland,whichtakenalongwiththecontext,means,thatofallwhalescapturedbyanybodyonthecoastofthatland,theking,ashonorarygrandharpooneer,musthavethehead,andthequeenberespectfullypresentedwiththetail.adivisionwhich,inthewhale,ismuchlikehalvinganapple;thereisnointermediateremainder.nowasthislaw,underamodifiedform,istothisdayinforceinengland;andasitoffersinvariousrespectsastrangeanomalytouchingthegenerallawoffastandloose-fish,itisheretreatedofinaseparatechapter,onthesamecourteousprinciplethatpromptstheenglishrailwaystobeattheexpenseofaseparatecar,speciallyreservedfortheaccommodationofroyalty.inthefirstplace,incuriousproofofthefactthattheabove-mentionedlawisstillinforce,iproceedtolaybeforeyouacircumstancethathappenedwithinthelasttwoyears.

itseemsthatsomehonestmarinersofdover,orsandwich,orsomeoneofthecinqueports,hadafterahardchaseeededinkillingandbeachingafinewhalewhichtheyhadoriginallydescriedafarofffromtheshore.nowthecinqueportsarepartiallyorsomehowunderthejurisdictionofasortofpolicemanorbeadle,calledalordwarden.holdingtheofficedirectlyfromthecrown,ibelieve,alltheroyalemolumentsincidenttothecinqueportterritoriesbecomebyassignmenthis.bysomewritersthisofficeiscalledasinecure.butnotso.becausethelordwardenisbusilyemployedattimesinfobbinghisperquisites;whicharehischieflybyvirtueofthatsamefobbingofthem.

nowwhenthesepoorsun-burntmariners,barefooted,andwiththeirtrowsersrolledhighupontheireelylegs,hadwearilyhauledtheirfatfishhighanddry,promisingthemselvesagood￡150fromthepreciousoilandbone;andinfantasysippingrareteawiththeirwives,andgoodalewiththeircronies,uponthestrengthoftheirrespectiveshares;upstepsaverylearnedandmostchristianandcharitablegentleman,withacopyofblackstoneunderhisarm;andlayingituponthewhale'shead,hesays—"handsoff!thisfish,mymasters,isafast-fish.iseizeitasthelordwarden's."uponthisthepoormarinersintheirrespectfulconsternation—sotrulyenglish—knowingnotwhattosay,falltovigorouslyscratchingtheirheadsallround;meanwhileruefullyglancingfromthewhaletothestranger.butthatdidinnowisemendthematter,oratallsoftenthehardheartofthelearnedgentlemanwiththecopyofblackstone.atlengthoneofthem,afterlongscratchingaboutforhisideas,madeboldtospeak,

"please,sir,whoisthelordwarden?"

"theduke."

"butthedukehadnothingtodowithtakingthisfish?

"itishis."

"wehavebeenatgreattrouble,andperil,andsomeexpense,andisallthattogototheduke'sbenefit;wegettingnothingatallforourpainsbutourblisters?"

"itishis."

"isthedukesoverypoorastobeforcedtothisdesperatemodeofgettingalivelihood?"

"itishis."

"ithoughttorelievemyoldbed-riddenmotherbypartofmyshareofthiswhale."

"itishis."

"won'tthedukebecontentwithaquarterorahalf?"

"itishis."

inaword,thewhalewasseizedandsold,andhisgracethedukeofwellingtonreceivedthemoney.thinkingthatviewedinsomeparticularlights,thecasemightbyabarepossibilityinsomesmalldegreebedeemed,underthecircumstances,aratherhardone,anhonestclergymanofthetownrespectfullyaddressedanotetohisgrace,inghimtotakethecaseofthoseunfortunatemarinersintofullconsideration.towhichmylorddukeinsubstancereplied(bothletterswerepublished)thathehadalreadydoneso,andreceivedthemoney,andwouldbeobligedtothereverendgentlemanifforthefuturehe(thereverendgentleman)woulddeclinemeddlingwithotherpeople'sbusiness.isthisthestillmilitantoldman,standingatthecornersofthethreekingdoms,onallhandscoercingalmsofars?

itwillreadilybeseenthatinthiscasetheallegedrightoftheduketothewhalewasadelegatedonefromthesovereign.wemustneedsinquirethenonwhatprinciplethesovereignisoriginallyinvestedwiththatright.thelawitselfhasalreadybeensetforth.butplowdongivesusthereasonforit.saysplowdon,thewhalesocaughtbelongstothekingandqueen,"becauseofitssuperiorexcellence."andbythesoundestcommentatorsthishaseverbeenheldacogentargumentinsuchmatters.

butwhyshouldthekinghavethehead,andthequeenthetail?areasonforthat,yelawyers!

inhistreatiseon"queen-gold,"orqueen-pinmoney,anoldking'sbenchauthor,onewilliamprynne,thusdiscourseth:"yetailisyequeen's,thatyequeen'swardrobemaybesuppliedwithyewhalebone."nowthiswaswrittenatatimewhentheblacklimberboneofthegreenlandorrightwhalewaslargelyusedinladies'bodices.butthissameboneisnotinthetail;itisinthehead,whichisasadmistakeforasagaciouslawyerlikeprynne.butisthequeenamermaid,tobepresentedwithatail?anallegoricalmeaningmaylurkhere.

therearetworoyalfishsostyledbytheenglishlawwriters—thewhaleandthesturgeon;bothroyalpropertyundercertainlimitations,andnominallysupplyingthetenthbranchofthecrown'sordinaryrevenue.iknownotthatanyotherauthorhashintedofthematter;butbyinferenceitseemstomethatthesturgeonmustbedividedinthesamewayasthewhale,thekingreceivingthehighlydenseandelasticheadpeculiartothatfish,which,symbolicallyregarded,maypossiblybehumorouslygroundeduponsomepresumedcongeniality.andthusthereseemsareasoninallthings,eveninlaw.