第2章

第2章therewasnopossibilityoftakingawalkthatday.wehadbeenwandering,indeed,intheleaflessshrubberyanhourinthemorning;butsincedinner(mrs.reed,whentherewasnocompany,dinedearly)thecoldwinterwindhadbroughtwithitcloudssosombre,andarainsopenetrating,thatfurtherout-doorexercisewasnowoutofthequestion.

iwasgladofit:ineverlikedlongwalks,especiallyonchillyafternoons:dreadfultomewasthecominghomeintherawtwilight,withnippedfingersandtoes,andaheartsaddenedbythechidingsofbessie,thenurse,andhumbledbytheconsciousnessofmyphysicalinferioritytoeliza,john,andgeorgianareed.

thesaideliza,john,andgeorgianawerenowclusteredroundtheirmamainthedrawing-room:shelayreclinedonasofabythefireside,andwithherdarlingsabouther(forthetimeneitherquarrellingnorcrying)lookedperfectlyhappy.me,shehaddispensedfromjoiningthegroup;saying,“sheregrettedtobeunderthenecessityofkeepingmeatadistance;butthatuntilsheheardfrombessie,andcoulddiscoverbyherownobservation,thatiwasendeavouringingoodearnesttoacquireamoresociableandchildlikedisposition,amoreattractiveandsprightlymanner—somethinglighter,franker,morenatural,asitwere—shereallymustexcludemefromprivilegesintendedonlyforcontented,happy,littlechildren.”

“whatdoesbessiesayihavedone?”iasked.

“jane,idon’tlikecavillersorquestioners;besides,thereissomethingtrulyforbiddinginachildtakinguphereldersinthatmanner.beseatedsomewhere;anduntilyoucanspeakpleasantly,remainsilent.”

abreakfast-roomadjoinedthedrawing-room,islippedinthere.itcontainedabookcase:isoonpossessedmyselfofavolume,takingcarethatitshouldbeonestoredwithpictures.imountedintothewindow-seat:gatheringupmyfeet,isatcross-ed,likeaturk;and,havingdrawntheredmoreencurtainnearlyclose,iwasshrinedindoubleretirement.

foldsofscarletdraperyshutinmyviewtotherighthand;totheleftweretheclearpanesofglass,protecting,butnotseparatingmefromthedrearnovemberday.atintervals,whileturningovertheleavesofmybook,istudiedtheaspectofthatwinterafternoon.afar,itofferedapaleblankofmistandcloud;nearasceneofwetlawnandstorm-beatshrub,withceaselessrainsweepingawaywildlybeforealongandlamentableblast.

ireturnedtomybook—bewick’shistoryofbritishbirds:theletterpressthereoficaredlittlefor,generallyspeaking;andyettherewerecertainintroductorypagesthat,childasiwas,icouldnotpassquiteasablank.theywerethosewhichtreatofthehauntsofsea-fowl;of“thesolitaryrocksandpromontories”bythemonlyinhabited;ofthecoastofnorway,studdedwithislesfromitssouthernextremity,thelindeness,ornaze,tothenorthcape—

“wherethenorthernocean,invastwhirls,

boilsroundthenaked,melancholyisles

offarthestthule;andtheatlanticsurge

poursinamongthestormyhebrides.”

norcouldipassunnoticedtheestionofthebleakshoresoflapland,siberia,spitzbergen,novazembla,iceland,greenland,with“thevastsweepofthearcticzone,andthoseforlornregionsofdrearyspace,—thatreservoiroffrostandsnow,wherefirmfieldsofice,theaccumulationofcenturiesofwinters,glazedinalpineheightsaboveheights,surroundthepole,andconcentrethemultipliedrigoursofextremecold.”ofthesedeath-whiterealmsiformedanideaofmyown:shadowy,likeallthehalf-comprehendednotionsthatfloatdimthroughchildren’sbrains,butstrangelyimpressive.thewordsintheseintroductorypagesconnectedthemselveswiththeeedingvignettes,andgavesignificancetotherockstandingupaloneinaseaofbillowandspray;tothebrokenboatstrandedonadesolatecoast;tothecoldandghastlymoonglancingthroughbarsofcloudatawreckjustsinking.

icannottellwhatsentimenthauntedthequitesolitarychurchyard,withitsinscribedheadstone;itsgate,itstwotrees,itslowhorizon,girdledbyabrokenwall,anditsnewly-risencrescent,attestingthehourofeventide.

thetwoshipsbecalmedonatorpidsea,ibelievedtobemarinephantoms.

thefiendpinningdownthethief’spackbehindhim,ipassedoverquickly:itwasanobjectofterror.

sowastheblackhornedthingseatedaloofonarock,surveyingadistantcrowdsurroundingagallows.

eachpicturetoldastory;mysteriousoftentomyundevelopedunderstandingandimperfectfeelings,yeteverprofoundlyinteresting:asinterestingasthetalesbessiesometimesnarratedonwinterevenings,whenshechancedtobeingoodhumour;andwhen,havingbroughtherironing-tabletothenurseryhearth,sheallowedustositaboutit,andwhileshegotupmrs.reed’slacefrills,andcrimpedhernightcapborders,fedoureagerattentionwithpassagesofloveandadventuretakenfromoldfairytalesandotherballads;or(asatalaterperiodidiscovered)fromthepagesofpamela,andhenry,earlofmoreland.

withbewickonmyknee,iwasthenhappy:happyatleastinmyway.ifearednothingbutinterruption,andthatcametoosoon.thebreakfast-roomdooropened.