第13章

第13章inowstoodintheemptyhall;beforemewasthebreakfast-roomdoor,andistopped,intimidatedandtrembling.whatamiserablelittlepoltroonhadfear,engenderedofunjustpunishment,madeofmeinthosedays!ifearedtoreturntothenursery,andfearedtogoforwardtotheparlour;tenminutesistoodinagitatedhesitation;thevehementringingofthebreakfast-roombelldecidedme;imustenter.

“whocouldwantme?”iaskedinwardly,aswithbothhandsiturnedthestiffdoor-handle,which,forasecondortwo,resistedmyefforts.“whatshouldiseebesidesauntreedintheapartment?—amanorawoman?”thehandleturned,thedoorunclosed,andpassingthroughandcurtseyinglow,ilookedupat—ablackpillar!—such,atleast,appearedtome,atfirstsight,thestraight,narrow,sable-cladshapestandingerectontherug:thegrimfaceatthetopwaslikeacarvedmask,placedabovetheshaftbywayofcapital.

mrs.reedoccupiedherusualseatbythefireside;shemadeasignaltometoapproach;ididso,andsheintroducedmetothestonystrangerwiththewords:“thisisthelittlegirlrespectingwhomiappliedtoyou.”

he,foritwasaman,turnedhisheadslowlytowardswhereistood,andhavingexaminedmewiththetwoinquisitive-lookinggreyeyeswhichtwinkledunderapairofbushybrows,saidsolemnly,andinabassvoice,“hersizeissmall:whatisherage?”

“tenyears.”

“somuch?”wasthedoubtfulanswer;andheprolongedhisscrutinyforsomeminutes.presentlyheaddressedme—“yourname,littlegirl?”

“janeeyre,sir.”

inutteringthesewordsilookedup:heseemedtomeatallgentleman;buttheniwasverylittle;hisfeatureswerelarge,andtheyandallthelinesofhisframewereequallyharshandprim.

“well,janeeyre,andareyouagoodchild?”

impossibletoreplytothisintheaffirmative:mylittleworldheldacontraryopinion:iwassilent.mrs.reedansweredformebyanexpressiveshakeofthehead,addingsoon,“perhapsthelesssaidonthatsubjectthebetter,mr.brocklehurst.”

“sorryindeedtohearit!sheandimusthavesometalk;”andbendingfromtheperpendicular,heinstalledhispersoninthearm-chairoppositemrs.reed’s.“comehere,”hesaid.

isteppedacrosstherug;heplacedmesquareandstraightbeforehim.whatafacehehad,nowthatitwasalmostonalevelwithmine!whatagreatnose!andwhatamouth!andwhatlargeprominentteeth!

“nosightsosadasthatofanaughtychild,”hebegan,“especiallyanaughtylittlegirl.doyouknowwherethewickedgoafterdeath?”

“theygotohell,”wasmyreadyandorthodoxanswer.

“andwhatishell?canyoutellmethat?”

“apitfulloffire.”

“andshouldyouliketofallintothatpit,andtobeburningthereforever?”

“no,sir.”

“whatmustyoudotoavoidit?”

ideliberatedamoment;myanswer,whenitdidcome,wasobjectionable:“imustkeepingoodhealth,andnotdie.”

“howcanyoukeepingoodhealth?childrenyoungerthanyoudiedaily.iburiedalittlechildoffiveyearsoldonlyadayortwosince,—agoodlittlechild,whosesoulisnowinheaven.itistobefearedthesamecouldnotbesaidofyouwereyoutobecalledhence.”

notbeinginaconditiontoremovehisdoubt,ionlycastmyeyesdownonthetwolargefeetplantedontherug,andsighed,wishingmyselffarenoughaway.

“ihopethatsighisfromtheheart,andthatyourepentofeverhavingbeentheoccasionofdiscomforttoyourexcellentbenefactress.”

“benefactress!benefactress!”saidiinwardly:“theyallcallmrs.reedmybenefactress;ifso,abenefactressisadisagreeablething.”

“doyousayyourprayersnightandmorning?”continuedmyinterrogator.

“yes,sir.”

“doyoureadyourbible?”

“sometimes.”

“withpleasure?areyoufondofit?”

“ilikerevelations,andthebookofdaniel,andgenesisandsamuel,andalittlebitofexodus,andsomepartsofkingsandchronicles,andjobandjonah.”

“andthepsalms?ihopeyoulikethem?”

“no,sir.”

无一错一首一发一内一容一在一6一9一书一吧一看！

“no?oh,shocking!ihavealittleboy,youngerthanyou,whoknowssixpsalmsbyheart:andwhenyouaskhimwhichhewouldratherhave,agingerbread-nuttoeatoraverseofapsalmtolearn,hesays:‘oh!theverseofapsalm!angelssingpsalms;’sayshe,‘iwishtobealittleangelherebelow;’hethengetstwonutsinrecompenseforhisinfantpiety.”

“psalmsarenotinteresting,”iremarked.

“thatprovesyouhaveawickedheart;andyoumustpraytogodtochangeit:togiveyouanewandcleanone:totakeawayyourheartofstoneandgiveyouaheartofflesh.”

iwasabouttopropoundaquestion,touchingthemannerinwhichthatoperationofchangingmyheartwastobeperformed,whenmrs.reedinterposed,tellingmetositdown;shethenproceededtocarryontheconversationherself.

“mr.brocklehurst,ibelieveiintimatedintheletterwhichiwrotetoyouthreeweeksago,thatthislittlegirlhasnotquitethecharacteranddispositionicouldwish:shouldyouadmitherintolowoodschool,ishouldbegladifthesuperintendentandteacherswererequestedtokeepastricteyeonher,and,aboveall,toguardagainstherworstfault,atendencytodeceit.imentionthisinyourhearing,jane,thatyoumaynotattempttoimposeonmr.brocklehurst.”

wellmightidread,wellmightidislikemrs.reed;foritwashernaturetowoundmecruelly;neverwasihappyinherpresence;howevercarefullyiobeyed,howeverstrenuouslyistrovetopleaseher,myeffortswerestillrepulsedandrepaidbysuchsentencesastheabove.now,utteredbeforeastranger,theaccusationcutmetotheheart;idimlyperceivedthatshewasalreadyobliteratinghopefromthenewphaseofexistencewhichshedestinedmetoenter;ifelt,thoughicouldnothaveexpressedthefeeling,thatshewassowingaversionandunkindnessalongmyfuturepath;isawmyselftransformedundermr.brocklehurst’seyeintoanartful,noxiouschild,andwhatcouldidotoremedytheinjury?