第65章

第65章helistenedverygravely;hisface,asiwenton,expressedmoreconcernthanastonishment;hedidnotimmediatelyspeakwhenihadconcluded.

“shallicallmrs.fairfax?”iasked.

“mrs.fairfax?no;whatthedeucewouldyoucallherfor?whatcanshedo?lethersleepunmolested.”

“theniwillfetchleah,andwakejohnandhiswife.”

“notatall:justbestill.youhaveashawlon.ifyouarenotwarmenough,youmaytakemycloakyonder;wrapitaboutyou,andsitdowninthearm-chair:there,—iwillputiton.nowplaceyourfeetonthestool,tokeepthemoutofthewet.iamgoingtoleaveyouafewminutes.ishalltakethecandle.remainwhereyouaretillireturn;beasstillasamouse.imustpayavisittothesecondstorey.don’tmove,remember,orcallanyone.”

hewent:iwatchedthelightwithdraw.hepassedupthegalleryverysoftly,unclosedthestaircasedoorwithaslittlenoiseaspossible,shutitafterhim,andthelastrayvanished.iwasleftintotaldarkness.ilistenedforsomenoise,butheardnothing.averylongtimeelapsed.igrewweary:itwascold,inspiteofthecloak;andthenididnotseetheuseofstaying,asiwasnottorousethehouse.iwasonthepointofriskingmr.rochester’sdispleasurebydisobeyinghisorders,whenthelightoncemoregleameddimlyonthegallerywall,andiheardhisunshodfeettreadthematting.“ihopeitishe,”thoughti,“andnotsomethingworse.”

here-entered,paleandverygloomy.“ihavefounditallout,”saidhe,settinghiscandledownonthewashstand;“itisasithought.”

“how,sir?”

hemadenoreply,butstoodwithhisarmsfolded,lookingontheground.attheendofafewminutesheinquiredinratherapeculiartone—

“iforgetwhetheryousaidyousawanythingwhenyouopenedyourchamberdoor.”

“no,sir,onlythecandlestickontheground.”

“butyouheardanoddlaugh?youhaveheardthatlaughbefore,ishouldthink,orsomethinglikeit?”

“yes,sir:thereisawomanwhosewshere,calledgracepoole,—shelaughsinthatway.sheisasingularperson.”

“justso.gracepoole—youhaveguessedit.sheis,asyousay,singular—very.well,ishallreflectonthesubject.meantime,iamgladthatyouaretheonlyperson,besidesmyself,acquaintedwiththeprecisedetailsofto-night’sincident.youarenotalkingfool:saynothingaboutit.iwillaccountforthisstateofaffairs”(pointingtothebed):“andnowreturntoyourownroom.ishalldoverywellonthesofainthelibraryfortherestofthenight.itisnearfour:—intwohourstheservantswillbeup.”

“good-night,then,sir,”saidi,departing.

heseemedsurprised—veryinconsistentlyso,ashehadjusttoldmetogo.

“what!”heexclaimed,“areyouquittingmealready,andinthatway?”

“yousaidimightgo,sir.”

“butnotwithouttakingleave;notwithoutawordortwoofacknowledgmentandgood-will:not,inshort,inthatbrief,dryfashion.why,youhavesavedmylife!—snatchedmefromahorribleandexcruciatingdeath!andyouwalkpastmeasifweweremutualstrangers!atleastshakehands.”

heheldouthishand;igavehimmine:hetookitfirstinone,theminbothhisown.

“youhavesavedmylife:ihaveapleasureinowingyousoimmenseadebt.icannotsaymore.nothingelsethathasbeingwouldhavebeentolerabletomeinthecharacterofcreditorforsuchanobligation:butyou:itisdifferent;—ifeelyourbenefitsnoburden,jane.”

hepaused;gazedatme:wordsalmostvisibletrembledonhislips,—buthisvoicewaschecked.

“good-nightagain,sir.thereisnodebt,benefit,burden,obligation,inthecase.”

“iknew,”hecontinued,“youwoulddomegoodinsomeway,atsometime;—isawitinyoureyeswhenifirstbeheldyou:theirexpressionandsmiledidnot”—(againhestopped)—“didnot”(heproceededhastily)“strikedelighttomyveryinmostheartsofornothing.peopletalkofnaturalsympathies;ihaveheardofgoodgenii:therearegrainsoftruthinthewildestfable.mycherishedpreserver,goodnight!”

strangeenergywasinhisvoice,strangefireinhislook.

“iamgladihappenedtobeawake,”isaid:andtheniwasgoing.

“what!youwillgo?”

“iamcold,sir.”

“cold?yes,—andstandinginapool!go,then,jane;go!”buthestillretainedmyhand,andicouldnotfreeit.ibethoughtmyselfofanexpedient.

“ithinkihearmrs.fairfaxmove,sir,”saidi.

“well,leaveme:”herelaxedhisfingers,andiwasgone.

iregainedmycouch,butneverthoughtofsleep.tillmorningdawnediwastossedonabuoyantbutunquietsea,wherebillowsoftroublerolledundersurgesofjoy.ithoughtsometimesisawbeyonditswildwatersashore,sweetasthehillsofbeulah;andnowandthenafresheninggale,wakenedbyhope,boremyspirittriumphantlytowardsthebourne:buticouldnotreachit,eveninfancy—acounteractingbreezeblewoffland,andcontinuallydrovemeback.sensewouldresistdelirium:judgmentwouldwarnpassion.toofeverishtorest,iroseassoonasdaydawned.