第153章

第153章“iwasgoingtosay,impassioned:butperhapsyouwouldhavemisunderstoodtheword,andbeendispleased.imean,thathumanaffectionsandsympathieshaveamostpowerfulholdonyou.iamsureyoucannotlongbecontenttopassyourleisureinsolitude,andtodevoteyourworkinghourstoamonotonouslabourwhollyvoidofstimulus:anymorethanicanbecontent,”headded,withemphasis,“tolivehereburiedinmorass,pentinwithmountains—mynature,thatgodgaveme,contravened;myfaculties,heaven-bestowed,paralysed—madeuseless.youhearnowhowicontradictmyself.i,whopreachedcontentmentwithahumblelot,andjustifiedthevocationevenofhewersofwoodanddrawersofwateringod’sservice—i,hisordainedminister,almostraveinmyrestlessness.well,propensitiesandprinciplesmustbereconciledbysomemeans.”

helefttheroom.inthisbriefhourihadlearntmoreofhimthaninthewholepreviousmonth:yetstillhepuzzledme.

dianaandmaryriversbecamemoresadandsilentasthedayapproachedforleavingtheirbrotherandtheirhome.theybothtriedtoappearasusual;batthesorrowtheyhadtoleagainstwasonethatcouldnotbeentirelyconqueredorconcealed.dianaintimatedthatthiswouldbeadifferentpartingfromanytheyhadeveryetknown.itwouldprobably,asfarasst.johnwasconcerned,beapartingforyears:itmightbeapartingforlife.

“hewillsacrificealltohislong-framedresolves,”shesaid:“naturalaffectionandfeelingsmorepotentstill.st.johnlooksquiet,jane;buthehidesafeverinhisvitals.youwouldthinkhimgentle,yetinsomethingsheisinexorableasdeath;andtheworstofitis,myconsciencewillhardlypermitmetodissuadehimfromhisseveredecision:certainly,icannotforamomentblamehimforit.itisright,noble,christian:yetitbreaksmyheart!”andthetearsgushedtoherfineeyes.marybentherheadlowoverherwork.

“wearenowwithoutfather:weshallsoonbewithouthomeandbrother,”shemurmured,

atthatmomentalittleaccidentsupervened,whichseemeddecreedbyfatepurposelytoprovethetruthoftheadage,that“misfortunesnevercomesingly,”andtoaddtotheirdistressesthevexingoneoftheslipbetweenthecupandthelip.st.johnpassedthewindowreadingaletter.heentered.

“ourunclejohnisdead,”saidhe.

boththesistersseemedstruck:notshockedorappalled;thetidingsappearedintheireyesrathermomentousthanafflicting.

“dead?”repeateddiana.

“yes.”

sherivetedasearchinggazeonherbrother’sface.“andwhatthen?”shedemanded,inalowvoice.

“whatthen,die?”hereplied,maintainingamarbleimmobilityoffeature.“whatthen?why—nothing.read.”

hethrewtheletterintoherlap.sheglancedoverit,andhandedittomary.maryperuseditinsilence,andreturnedittoherbrother.allthreelookedateachother,andallthreesmiled—adreary,pensivesmileenough.

“amen!wecanyetlive,”saiddianaatlast.

“atanyrate,itmakesusnoworseoffthanwewerebefore,”remarkedmary.

“onlyitforcesratherstronglyonthemindthepictureofwhatmighthavebeen,”saidmr.rivers,“andcontrastsitsomewhattoovividlywithwhatis.”

hefoldedtheletter,lockeditinhisdesk,andagainwentout.

forsomeminutesnoonespoke.dianathenturnedtome.

“jane,youwillwonderatusandourmysteries,”shesaid,“andthinkushard-heartedbeingsnottobemoremovedatthedeathofsoneararelationasanuncle;butwehaveneverseenhimorknownhim.hewasmymother’sbrother.myfatherandhequarrelledlongago.itwasbyhisadvicethatmyfatherriskedmostofhispropertyinthespeculationthatruinedhim.mutualrecriminationpassedbetweenthem:theypartedinanger,andwereneverreconciled.myuncleengagedafterwardsinmoreprosperousundertakings:itappearsherealisedafortuneoftwentythousandpounds.hewasnevermarried,andhadnonearkindredbutourselvesandoneotherperson,notmorecloselyrelatedthanwe.myfatheralwayscherishedtheideathathewouldatoneforhiserrorbyleavinghispossessionstous;thatletterinformsusthathehasbequeathedeverypennytotheotherrelation,withtheexceptionofthirtyguineas,tobedividedbetweenst.john,diana,andmaryrivers,forthepurchaseofthreemourningrings.hehadaright,ofcourse,todoashepleased:andyetamomentarydampiscastonthespiritsbythereceiptofsuchnews.maryandiwouldhaveesteemedourselvesrichwithathousandpoundseach;andtost.johnsuchasumwouldhavebeenvaluable,forthegooditwouldhaveenabledhimtodo.”

thisexplanationgiven,thesubjectwasdropped,andnofurtherreferencemadetoitbyeithermr.riversorhissisters.thenextdayileftmarshendformorton.thedayafter,dianaandmaryquitteditfordistantb—.inaweek,mr.riversandhannahrepairedtotheparsonage:andsotheoldgrangewasabandoned.