第111章

第111章“youshallsojournatparis,rome,andnaples:atflorence,venice,andvienna:allthegroundihavewanderedovershallbere-troddenbyyou:whereveristampedmyhoof,yoursylph’sfootshallstepalso.tenyearssince,iflewthrougheuropehalfmad;withdisgust,hate,andrageasmycompanions:nowishallrevisitithealedandcleansed,withaveryangelasmycomforter.”

ilaughedathimashesaidthis.“iamnotanangel,”iasserted;“andiwillnotbeonetillidie:iwillbemyself.mr.rochester,youmustneitherexpectnorexactanythingcelestialofme—foryouwillnotgetit,anymorethanishallgetitofyou:whichidonotatallanticipate.”

“whatdoyouanticipateofme?”

“foralittlewhileyouwillperhapsbeasyouarenow,—averylittlewhile;andthenyouwillturncool;andthenyouwillbecapricious;andthenyouwillbestern,andishallhavemuchadotopleaseyou:butwhenyougetwellusedtome,youwillperhapslikemeagain,—likeme,isay,notloveme.isupposeyourlovewilleffervesceinsixmonths,orless.ihaveobservedinbookswrittenbymen,thatperiodassignedasthefarthesttowhichahusband’sardourextends.yet,afterall,asafriendandcompanion,ihopenevertobecomequitedistastefultomydearmaster.”

“distasteful!andlikeyouagain!ithinkishalllikeyouagain,andyetagain:andiwillmakeyouconfessidonotonlylike,butloveyou—withtruth,fervour,constancy.”

“yetareyounotcapricious,sir?”

“towomenwhopleasemeonlybytheirfaces,iamtheverydevilwhenifindouttheyhaveneithersoulsnorhearts—whentheyopentomeaperspectiveofflatness,triviality,andperhapsimbecility,coarseness,andill-temper:buttothecleareyeandeloquenttongue,tothesoulmadeoffire,andthecharacterthatbendsbutdoesnotbreak—atoncesuppleandstable,tractableandconsistent—iamevertenderandtrue.”

“hadyoueverexperienceofsuchacharacter,sir?didyoueverlovesuchanone?”

“iloveitnow.”

“butbeforeme:ifi,indeed,inanyrespectcomeuptoyourdifficultstandard?”

“inevermetyourlikeness.jane,youpleaseme,andyoumasterme—youseemtosubmit,andilikethesenseofpliancyyouimpart;andwhileiamtwiningthesoft,silkenskeinroundmyfinger,itsendsathrillupmyarmtomyheart.iaminfluenced—conquered;andtheinfluenceissweeterthanicanexpress;andtheconquestiundergohasawitcherybeyondanytriumphicanwin.whydoyousmile,jane?whatdoesthatinexplicable,thatuncannyturnofcountenancemean?”

“iwasthinking,sir(youwillexcusetheidea;itwasinvoluntary),iwasthinkingofherculesandsamsonwiththeircharmers—”

“youwere,youlittleelfish—”

“hush,sir!youdon’ttalkverywiselyjustnow;anymorethanthosegentlemenactedverywisely.however,hadtheybeenmarried,theywouldnodoubtbytheirseverityashusbandshavemadeupfortheirsoftnessassuitors;andsowillyou,ifear.iwonderhowyouwillanswermeayearhence,shouldiaskafavouritdoesnotsuityourconvenienceorpleasuretogrant.”

“askmesomethingnow,jane,—theleastthing:idesiretobeentreated—”

“indeediwill,sir;ihavemypetitionallready.”

“speak!butifyoulookupandsmilewiththatcountenance,ishallswearconcessionbeforeiknowtowhat,andthatwillmakeafoolofme.”

“notatall,sir;iaskonlythis:don’tsendforthejewels,anddon’tcrownmewithroses:youmightaswellputaborderofgoldlaceroundthatplainpockethandkerchiefyouhavethere.”

“imightaswell‘gildrefinedgold.’iknowit:yourequestisgrantedthen—forthetime.iwillremandtheorderidespatchedtomybanker.butyouhavenotyetaskedforanything;youhaveprayedagifttobewithdrawn:tryagain.”

“wellthen,sir,havethegoodnesstogratifymycuriosity,whichismuchpiquedononepoint.”

helookeddisturbed.“what?what?”hesaidhastily.“curiosityisadangerouspetition:itiswellihavenottakenavowtoaccordeveryrequest—”

“buttherecanbenodangerincomplyingwiththis,sir.”

“utterit,jane:butiwishthatinsteadofamereinquiryinto,perhaps,asecret,itwasawishforhalfmyestate.”

“now,kingahasuerus!whatdoiwantwithhalfyourestate?doyouthinkiamajew-usurer,seekinggoodinvestmentinland?iwouldmuchratherhaveallyourconfidence.youwillnotexcludemefromyourconfidenceifyouadmitmetoyourheart?”

“youarewelcometoallmyconfidencethatisworthhaving,jane;butforgod’ssake,don’tdesireauselessburden!don’tlongforpoison—don’tturnoutadownrighteveonmyhands!”

“whynot,sir?youhavejustbeentellingmehowmuchyoulikedtobeconquered,andhowpleasantover-persuasionistoyou.don’tyouthinkihadbettertakeadvantageoftheconfession,andbeginandcoaxandentreat—evencryandbesulkyifnecessary—forthesakeofamereessayofmypower?”

无一错一首一发一内一容一在一6一9一书一吧一看！

“idareyoutoanysuchexperiment.encroach,presume,andthegameisup.”

“isit,sir?yousoongivein.howsternyoulooknow!youreyebrowshavebecomeasthickasmyfinger,andyourforeheadresembleswhat,insomeveryastonishingpoetry,ioncesawstyled,‘ablue-piledthunderloft.’thatwillbeyourmarriedlook,sir,isuppose?”

“ifthatwillbeyourmarriedlook,i,asachristian,willsoongiveupthenotionofconsortingwithamerespriteorsalamander.butwhathadyoutoask,thing,—outwithit?”

“there,youarelessthancivilnow;andilikerudenessagreatdealbetterthanflattery.ihadratherbeathingthananangel.thisiswhatihavetoask,—whydidyoutakesuchpainstomakemebelieveyouwishedtomarrymissingram?”