第99章

第99章providedwithacaseofpencils,andsomesheetsofpaper,iusedtotakeaseatapartfromthem,nearthewindow,andbusymyselfinsketchingfancyvignettes,representinganyscenethathappenedmomentarilytoshapeitselfintheever-shiftingkaleidoscopeofimagination:aglimpseofseabetweentworocks;therisingmoon,andashipcrossingitsdisk;agroupofreedsandwater-flags,andanaiad’shead,crownedwithlotus-flowers,risingoutofthem;anelfsittinginahedge-sparrow’snest,underawreathofhawthorn-bloom

onemorningifelltosketchingaface:whatsortofafaceitwastobe,ididnotcareorknow.itookasoftblackpencil,gaveitabroadpoint,andworkedaway.soonihadtracedonthepaperabroadandprominentforeheadandasquareloweroutlineofvisage:thatcontourgavemepleasure;myfingersproceededactivelytofillitwithfeatures.strongly-markedhorizontaleyebrowsmustbetracedunderthatbrow;thenfollowed,naturally,awell-definednose,withastraightridgeandfullnostrils;thenaflexible-lookingmouth,bynomeansnarrow;thenafirmchin,withadecidedcleftdownthemiddleofit:ofcourse,someblackwhiskerswerewanted,andsomejettyhair,tuftedonthetemples,andwavedabovetheforehead.nowfortheeyes:ihadleftthemtothelast,becausetheyrequiredthemostcarefulworking.idrewthemlarge;ishapedthemwell:theeyelashesitracedlongandsombre;theiridslustrousandlarge.“good!butnotquitethething,”ithought,asisurveyedtheeffect:“theywantmoreforceandspirit;”andiwroughttheshadesblacker,thatthelightsmightflashmorebrilliantly—ahappytouchortwosecuredess.there,ihadafriend’sfaceundermygaze;andwhatdiditsignifythatthoseyoungladiesturnedtheirbacksonme?ilookedatit;ismiledatthespeakinglikeness:iwasabsorbedandcontent.

“isthataportraitofsomeoneyouknow?”askedeliza,whohadapproachedmeunnoticed.irespondedthatitwasmerelyafancyhead,andhurrieditbeneaththeothersheets.ofcourse,ilied:itwas,infact,averyfaithfulrepresentationofmr.rochester.butwhatwasthattoher,ortoanyonebutmyself?georgianaalsoadvancedtolook.theotherdrawingspleasedhermuch,butshecalledthat“anuglyman.”theybothseemedsurprisedatmyskill.iofferedtosketchtheirportraits;andeach,inturn,satforapenciloutline.thengeorgianaproducedheralbum.ipromisedtocontributeawater-colourdrawing:thisputheratonceintogoodhumour.sheproposedawalkinthegrounds.beforewehadbeenouttwohours,weweredeepinaconfidentialconversation:shehadfavouredmewithadescriptionofthebrilliantwintershehadspentinlondontwoseasonsago—oftheadmirationshehadthereexcited—theattentionshehadreceived;andievengothintsofthetitledconquestshehadmade.inthecourseoftheafternoonandeveningthesehintswereenlargedon:varioussoftconversationswerereported,andsentimentalscenesrepresented;and,inshort,avolumeofanoveloffashionablelifewasthatdayimprovisedbyherformybenefit.thecommunicationswererenewedfromdaytoday:theyalwaysranonthesametheme—herself,herloves,andwoes.itwasstrangesheneveronceadvertedeithertohermother’sillness,orherbrother’sdeath,orthepresentgloomystateofthefamilyprospects.hermindseemedwhollytakenupwithreminiscencesofpastgaiety,andaspirationsafterdissipationstocome.shepassedaboutfiveminuteseachdayinhermother’ssick-room,andnomore.

elizastillspokelittle:shehadevidentlynotimetotalk.ineversawabusierpersonthansheseemedtobe;yetitwasdifficulttosaywhatshedid:orrather,todiscoveranyresultofherdiligence.shehadanalarmtocallherupearly.iknownothowsheoccupiedherselfbeforebreakfast,butafterthatmealshedividedhertimeintoregularportions,andeachhourhaditsallottedtask.threetimesadayshestudiedalittlebook,whichifound,oninspection,wasacommonprayerbook.iaskedheroncewhatwasthegreatattractionofthatvolume,andshesaid,“therubric.”threehoursshegavetostitching,withgoldthread,theborderofasquarecrimsoncloth,almostlargeenoughforacarpet.inanswertomyinquiriesaftertheuseofthisarticle,sheinformedmeitwasacoveringforthealtarofanewchurchlatelyerectedneargateshead.twohoursshedevotedtoherdiary;twotoworkingbyherselfinthekitchen-garden;andonetotheregulationofheraccounts.sheseemedtowantnocompany;noconversation.ibelieveshewashappyinherway:thisroutinesufficedforher;andnothingannoyedhersomuchastheoccurrenceofanyincidentwhichforcedhertovaryitsclockworkregularity.

shetoldmeoneevening,whenmoredisposedtobecommunicativethanusual,thatjohn’sconduct,andthethreatenedruinofthefamily,hadbeenasourceofprofoundafflictiontoher:butshehadnow,shesaid,settledhermind,andformedherresolution.herownfortuneshehadtakencaretosecure;andwhenhermotherdied—anditwaswhollyimprobable,shetranquillyremarked,thatsheshouldeitherrecoverorlingerlong—shewouldexecutealong-cherishedproject:seekaretirementwherepunctualhabitswouldbepermanentlysecuredfromdisturbance,andplacesafebarriersbetweenherselfandafrivolousworld.iaskedifgeorgianawouldaccompanyher.

“ofcoursenot.georgianaandshehadnothingincommon:theyneverhadhad.shewouldnotbeburdenedwithhersocietyforanyconsideration.georgianashouldtakeherowncourse;andshe,eliza,wouldtakehers.”