第60章WeAreNotAlone

第60章wearenotalone

aftermyhusbanddiedsuddenlyfromaheartattackonthetenniscourt,myworldcrashedaroundme.mysixchildrenwereten,nine,eight,six,threeandeighteenmonths,andiwasoverwhelmedwiththeresponsibilitiesofearningaliving,caringforthechildrenandjustplainkeepingmyheadabovethewater.

iwasfortunatetofindawonderfulhousekeepertocareforthechildrenduringtheweek,butfromfridaynightstomondaymornings,thechildrenandiwerealone,andfranklyiwasuneasy.everycreakofthehouse,everyunusualnoise,anylate-nightphoneall——allfilledmewithdread.ifeltincrediblyalone.

onefridayeveningicamehomefromworktofindabigbeautifulgermanshepherdonourdoorstep.thiswonderfulstronganimalgaveeveryindicationthatheintendedtoenterthehouseandmakeithishome.i,however,waswary.wheredidthisobviouslywell-cared-fordogcomefrom?wasitsafetoletthechildrenplaywithastrangedogeventhoughheseemedgentle,hestillwaspowerfulandcommandedrespect.thechildrentookaninstantlikingto“german”andedmetoletitin.iagreedtolethimsleepinthebasementuntilthenextday,whenwecouldinquirearoundtheneighborhoodforhisowner.thatnightisleptpeacefullyforthefirsttimeinmanyweeks.

thefollowingmorningwemadephonecallsandcheckedlost-and-foundadsforgerman'sowner,butwithnoresults.german,meanwhile,madehimselfpartofthefamilyandgood-naturedlyputupwithhugs,wrestlingandplayingintheyard.saturdayhewasstillwithus,soagainhewasallowedtosleepinthebasement.

onsundayihadplannedtotakethechildrenonapicnic.sinceithoughtitbesttoleavegermanbehindincasehisownercameby,wedroveoffwithouthim.whenwestoppedtogetgasatalocalstation,wewereamazedtoseegermanracingtothegasstationafterus.henotonlyracedtothecar,heleapedontothehoodandputhisnoseonthewind-shield,lookingdirectlyintomyeyes.nowaywashegoingtobeleftbehind.sointothestationwagonhejumpedandsettleddowninthebackfortheridetothepicnic.hestayedagainsunday.

mondaymorningilethimoutforarunwhilethechildrengotreadyforschool.hedidn'tcomeback.aseveningcameandgermandidn'tappear,wewerealldisappointed.wewereconvincedthathehadgonehomeorbeenfoundbyhisowner,andthatwewouldneverseehimagain.wewerewrong.thenextfridayevening,germanwasbackonourdoorstep.againwetookhimin,andagainhestayeduntilmondaymorning,whenourhousekeeperarrived.

thispatternrepeateditselfeveryweekendforalmost10months.wegrewmoreandmorefondofgermanandwelookedforwardtohiscoming.westoppedthinkingaboutwherehebelonged－hebelongedtous.wetookcomfortinhisstrong,warmpresence,andwefeltsafewithhimnearus.whenwesawgermancometoattentionandperkuphisears,andheardthatlowgrowlbegindeepinhisthroat,weknewwewereprotected.

asgermanbecamepartofthefamily,heconsideredithisdutytocheckeverybedroomtobesureeachchildwassnuginbed.whenhewassatisfiedthatthelastpersonwasluckedin,hetookuponhispositionbythefrontdoorandremainedthereuntilthemorning.

eachweek,betweengerman'svisits,igrewalittlestronger,alittlebraverandmoreabletocope;everyweekendienjoyedhiscompany.thenonemondaymorningwepattedhisheadandlethimoutforwhatturnedouttobethelasttime.henevercameback.weneversaworheardfromgermanagain.

ithinkofhimoften.hecamewhenineededhimthemostandstayeduntiliwasstrongenoughtogoonalone.maybethereisaperfectlynaturalexplanationforgerman'svisitstoourhouse－maybehisownerwentawayonweekends－maybe.ibelievegermanwassentbecausehewasneeded,andbecausenomatterhowabandonedandalonewefeel,somehow,somewhere,someoneknowsandcares.weareneverreallyalone.