SCENE.—Melesinda'sApartment.

scene.—melesinda'sapartment.

(melesindaandmaid.)

maidlord,madam!beforei'dtakeonasyoudoaboutafoolish—whatsignifiesaname?hogs—hogs—whatisit—isjustasgoodasanyotherforwhatisee.

melesindaignorantcreature!yetsheisperhapsblestintheabsenceofthoseideas,which,whiletheyaddazesttothefewpleasureswhichfalltothelotofsuperiornaturestoenjoy,doublyedgethe—

maidsuperiornatures!afig!ifhe'shogbyname,he'snothogbynature,thatdon'tfollow—hisnamedon'tmakehimanything,doesit?hedon'tgruntthemoreforit,norsqueak,thateverihear;helikeshisvictualsoutofaplate,asotherchristiansdo,youneverseehimgotothetrough—

melesinda

unfeelingwretch!yetpossiblyherintentions—

maidforinstance,madam,mynameisfinch—bettyfinch.idon'twhistlethemoreforthat,norlongaftercanary-seedwhileicangetgoodwholesomemutton—no,noryoucan'tcatchmebythrowingsaltonmytail.ifyoucometothat,hadn'tiayoungmanusedtocomeafterme,theysaidcourtedme—hisnamewaslion—francislion,atailor;butthoughhewasfondenoughofme,forallthat,heneverofferedtoeatme.

melesindahowfortunatethatthediscoveryhasbeenmadebeforeitwastoolate.hadilistenedtohisdeceits,and,astheperfidiousmanhadalmostpersuadedme,precipitatedmyselfintoaninextricableengagement,before—

maidnogreatharm,ifyouhad.you'donlyhaveboughtapiginapoke—andwhatthen?oh,herehecomescreeping—

entermr.h.abject.

gotoher,mr.hogs—hogs—hogsbristles—what'syourname?don'tbeafraid,man—don'tgiveitup—she'snotcrying—onlysummathasmadehereyesred—shehasgotastyinhereye,ibelieve—(going.)

melesinda

youarenotgoing,betty?

maido,madam,nevermindme—ishallbebackinthetwinklingofapig'swhisker,astheysay.[exit.]

mr.h.melesinda,youbeholdbeforeyouawretchwhowouldhavebetrayedyourconfidence,butitwaslovethatpromptedhim;whowouldhavetrickedyoubyanunworthyconcealmentintoaparticipationofthatdisgracewhichasuperficialworldhasagreedtoattachtoaname—butwithityouwouldhavesharedafortunenotcontemptible,andaheart—but'tisovernow.thatnameheiscontenttobearalone—togowherethepersecutedsyllablesshallbenomoreheard,orexcitenomeaning—somespotwherehisnativetonguehasneverpenetrated,noranyofhiscountrymenhavelanded,toplanttheirunfeelingsatire,theirbrutalwit,andnationalillmanners—wherenoenglishman—(heremelesinda,whohasbeenpoutingduringthisspeech,fetchesadeepsigh.)someyetundiscoveredotaheite,wherewitless,unapprehensivesavagesshallinnocentlypronouncetheill-fatedsounds,andthinkthemnotinharmonious.

melesinda

oh!

mr.h.

whoknowsbutamongthefemalenativesmightbefound—

melesinda

sir!(raisingherhead).

mr.h.

onewhowouldbemorekindthan—someoberea—queenoberea.

melesinda

oh!

mr.h.orwhatifiweretoseekforproofsofreciprocalesteemamongunprejudicedafricanmaids,inmonomotopa.

enterservant.

servant

mr.belvil.[exit.]

enterbelvil.

mr.h.

inmonornotopa(musing.)

belvilheyday,jack!whatmeansthismortifiedface?nothinghashappened,ihope,betweenthisladyandyou?ibegpardon,madam,butunderstandingmyfriendwaswithyou,itookthelibertyofseekinghimhere.somelittledifferencepossiblywhichathirdpersoncanadjust—notaword—willyou,madam,asthisgentleman'sfriend,suffermetobethearbitrator—strange—hark'e,jack,nothinghascomeout,hasthere?youunderstandme.ohiguesshowitis—somebodyhasgotatyoursecret,youhav'n'tblabbedityourself,haveyou?ha!ha!ha!icouldfindinmyheart—jack,whatwouldyougivemeifishouldrelieveyou—

mr.h.nopowerofmancanrelieveme(sighs)butitmustlieattheroot,gnawingattheroot—hereitwilllie.

belvilnopowerofman?notacommonman,igrantyou;forinstance,asubject—it'soutofthepowerofanysubject.

mr.h.

gnawingattheroot—thereitwilllie.

belvilsuchathinghasbeenknownasanametobechanged;butnotbyasubject—(shewsagazette).

mr.h.gnawingattheroot(suddenlysnatchesthepaperoutofbelvil'shand);ha!pish!nonsense!giveitme—what!(reads)promotions,bankrupts—agreatmanybankruptsthisweek—thereitwilllie(laysitdown,takesitupagain,andreads)"thekinghasbeengraciouslypleased"—gnawingattheroot—"graciouslypleasedtograntuntojohnhogsflesh"—thedevil—"hogsflesh,esq.,ofstyhall,inthecountyofhants,hisroyallicenceandauthority"—olord!olord!—"thatheandhisissue"—meandmyissue—"maytakeandusethesurnameandarmsofbacon"—bacon,thesurnameandarmsofbacon—"inpursuanceofaninjunctioncontainedinthelastwillandtestamentofnicholasbacon,esq.hislateuncle,aswellasoutofgratefulrespecttohismemory:"—gratefulrespect!pooroldsoul——here'smore—"andthatsucharmsmaybefirstdulyexemplified"—theyshall,iwilltakecareofthat—"accordingtothelawsofarms,andrecordedintheherald'soffice."

belvilcome,madam,givemeleavetoputmyowninterpretationuponyoursilence,andtopleadformyfriend,thatnowthatonlyobstaclewhichseemedtostandinyourwayofyourunionisremoved,youwillsuffermetocompletethehappinesswhichmynewsseemstohavebroughthim,byintroducinghimwithanewclaimtoyourfavour,bythenameofmr.bacon.

(takestheirhandsandjoinsthem,whichmelesindaseemstogiveconsenttowithasmile.)

mr.h.generousmelesinda!—mydearfriend—"heandhisissue,"meandmyissue—olord!—

belvil

iwishyoujoy,jack,withallmyheart.

mr.h.bacon,bacon,bacon—howodditsounds.icouldneverbetiredofhearingit.therewaslordchancellorbacon.methinksihavesomeoftheverulambloodinmealready—methinksicouldlookthroughnature—therewasfriarbacon,aconjurer—ifeelasificouldconjuretoo—

enteraservant.

servanttwoyoungladiesandanoldladyareatthedoor,enquiringifyouseecompany,madam.

mr.h.

"surnameandarms"—