Chapter34

nextdayafterdinnertheytooktheirrugsandcushionstothefountain,andtheirbooks;buttheydidnotread.misswilkinsonmadeherselfcomfortableandsheopenedtheredsun-shade.philipwasnotatallshynow,butatfirstshewouldnotlethimkissher.

“itwasverywrongofmelastnight,”shesaid.“icouldn’tsleep,ifelti’ddonesowrong.”  “whatnonsense!”hecried.“i’msureyousleptlikeatop.”

“whatdoyouthinkyourunclewouldsayifheknew?”

“there’snoreasonwhyheshouldknow.”

heleanedoverher,andhisheartwentpit-a-pat.

“whyd’youwanttokissme?”

heknewheoughttoreply:“becauseiloveyou.”buthecouldnotbringhimselftosayit.

“whydoyouthink?”heaskedinstead.

shelookedathimwithsmilingeyesandtouchedhisfacewiththetipsofherfingers.

“howsmoothyourfaceis,”shemurmured.

“iwantshavingawfully,”hesaid.

itwasastonishinghowdifficulthefoundittomakeromanticspeeches.hefoundthatsilencehelpedhimmuchmorethanwords.hecouldlookinexpressiblethings.misswilkinsonsighed.

“doyoulikemeatall?”

“yes,awfully.”

whenhetriedtokissheragainshedidnotresist.hepretendedtobemuchmorepassionatethanhereallywas,andheeededinplayingapartwhichlookedverywellinhisowneyes.

“i’mbeginningtoberatherfrightenedofyou,”saidmisswilkinson.

“you’llcomeoutaftersupper,won’tyou?”heed.

“notunlessyoupromisetobehaveyourself.”

“i’llpromiseanything.”

hewascatchingfirefromtheflamehewaspartlysimulating,andattea-timehewasobstreperouslymerry.misswilkinsonlookedathimnervously.

“youmustn’thavethoseshiningeyes,”shesaidtohimafterwards.“whatwillyourauntlouisathink?”

“idon’tcarewhatshethinks.”

misswilkinsongavealittlelaughofpleasure.theyhadnosoonerfinishedsupperthanhesaidtoher:

“areyougoingtokeepmecompanywhileismokeacigarette?”

“whydon’tyouletmisswilkinsonrest?”saidmrs.carey.“youmustremembershe’snotasyoungasyou.”

“oh,i’dliketogoout,mrs.carey,”shesaid,ratheracidly.

“afterdinnerwalkamile,aftersupperrestawhile,”saidthevicar.

“yourauntisverynice,butshegetsonmynervessometimes,”saidmisswilkinson,assoonastheyclosedtheside-doorbehindthem.

philipthrewawaythecigarettehehadjustlighted,andflunghisarmsroundher.shetriedtopushhimaway.

“youpromisedyou’dbegood,philip.”

“youdidn’tthinkiwasgoingtokeepapromiselikethat?”

“notsonearthehouse,philip,”shesaid.“supposingsomeoneshouldcomeoutsuddenly?”

heledhertothekitchengardenwherenoonewaslikelytocome,andthistimemisswilkinsondidnotthinkofearwigs.hekissedherpassionately.itwasoneofthethingsthatpuzzledhimthathedidnot

likeheratallinthemorning,andonlymoderatelyintheafternoon,butatnightthetouchofherhandthrilledhim.hesaidthingsthathewouldneverhavethoughthimselfcapableofsaying;hecouldcertainlyneverhavesaidtheminthebroadlightofday;andhelistenedtohimselfwithwonderandsatisfaction.

“howbeautifullyyoumakelove,”shesaid.

thatwaswhathethoughthimself.

“oh,ificouldonlysayallthethingsthatburnmyheart!”hemurmuredpassionately.

itwassplendid.itwasthemostthrillinggamehehadeverplayed;andthewonderfulthingwasthathefeltalmostallhesaid.itwasonlythatheeratedalittle.hewastremendouslyinterestedandexcitedintheeffecthecouldseeithadonher.itwasobviouslywithaneffortthatatlastsheestedgoingin.

“oh,don’tgoyet,”hecried.

“imust,”shemuttered.“i’mfrightened.”

hehadasuddenintuitionwhatwastherightthingtodothen.

“ican’tgoinyet.ishallstayhereandthink.mycheeksareburning.iwantthenight-air.good-night.”

heheldouthishandseriously,andshetookitinsilence.hethoughtshestifledasob.oh,itwasmagnificent!when,afteradecentintervalduringwhichhehadbeenratherboredinthedarkgardenbyhimself,hewentinhefoundthatmisswilkinsonhadalreadygonetobed.

afterthatthingsweredifferentbetweenthem.thenextdayandthedayafterphilipshowedhimselfaneagerlover.hewasdeliciouslyflatteredtodiscoverthatmisswilkinsonwasinlovewithhim:shetoldhimsoinenglish,andshetoldhimsoinfrench.shepaidhimcompliments.noonehadeverinformedhimbeforethathiseyeswerecharmingandthathehadasensualmouth.hehadneverbotheredmuchabouthispersonalappearance,butnow,whenoccasionpresented,helookedathimselfintheglasswithsatisfaction.whenhekissedheritwaswonderfultofeelthepassionthatseemedtothrillhersoul.hekissedheragooddeal,forhefounditeasiertodothatthantosaythethingsheinstinctivelyfeltsheexpectedofhim.itstillmadehimfeelafooltosayheworshippedher.hewishedthereweresomeonetowhomhecouldboastalittle,andhewouldwillinglyhavediscussedminutepointsofhisconduct.sometimesshesaidthingsthatwereenigmatic,andhewaspuzzled.hewishedhaywardhadbeentheresothathecouldaskhimwhathethoughtshemeant,andwhathehadbetterdonext.hecouldnotmakeuphismindwhetherheoughttorushthingsorletthemtaketheirtime.therewereonlythreeweeksmore.

“ican’tbeartothinkofthat,”shesaid.“itbreaksmyheart.andthenperhapsweshallneverseeoneanotheragain.”

“ifyoucaredformeatall,youwouldn’tbesounkindtome,”hewhispered.

“oh,whycan’tyoubecontenttoletitgoonasitis?menarealwaysthesame.they’reneversatisfied.”

andwhenhepressedher,shesaid:

“butdon’tyouseeit’simpossible.howcanwehere?”

heproposedallsortsofschemes,butshewouldnothaveanythingtodowiththem.