Chapter117

philiphadwrittentoathelnytotellhimthathewasdoingalocumindorsetshireandinduecoursereceivedananswerfromhim.itwaswrittenintheformalmannerheaffected,studdedwithpompousepithetsasapersiandiademwasstuddedwithpreciousstones;andinthebeautifulhand,likeblackletterandasdifficulttoread,uponwhichhepridedhimself.heestedthatphilipshouldjoinhimandhisfamilyinthekentishhop-fieldtowhichhewenteveryyear;andtopersuadehimsaidvariousbeautifulandcomplicatedthingsaboutphilip’ssoulandthewindingtendrilsofthehops.philiprepliedatoncethathewouldcomeonthefirstdayhewasfree.thoughnotbornthere,hehadapeculiaraffectionfortheisleofthanet,andhewasfiredwithenthusiasmatthethoughtofspendingafortnightsoclosetotheearthandamidconditionswhichneededonlyablueskytobeasidyllicastheolivegrovesofarcady.

thefourweeksofhisengagementatfarnleypassedquickly.onthecliffanewtownwasspringingup,withredbrickvillasroundgolflinks,andalargehotelhadrecentlybeenopenedtocaterforthesummervisitors;butphilipwentthereseldom.downbelow,bytheharbour,thelittlestonehousesofapastcenturywereclusteredinadelightfulconfusion,andthenarrowstreets,climbingdownsteeply,hadanairofantiquitywhichappealedtotheimagination.bythewater’sedgewereneatcottageswithtrim,tinygardensinfrontofthem;theywereinhabitedbyretiredcaptainsinthemerchantservice,andbymothersorwidowsofmenwhohadgainedtheirliving

bythesea;andtheyhadanappearancewhichwasquaintandpeaceful.inthelittleharbourcametrampsfromspainandthelevant,shipsofsmalltonnage;andnowandthenawindjammerwasborneinbythewindsofromance.itremindedphilipofthedirtylittleharbourwithitscolliersatblackstable,andhethoughtthattherehehadfirstacquiredthedesire,whichwasnowanobsession,foreasternlandsandsunlitislandsinatropicsea.buthereyoufeltyourselfclosertothewide,deepoceanthanontheshoreofthatnorthseawhichseemedalwayscircumscribed;hereyoucoulddrawalongbreathasyoulookedoutupontheevenvastness;andthewestwind,thedearsoftsaltwindofengland,upliftedtheheartandatthesametimemeltedittotenderness.

oneevening,whenphiliphadreachedhislastweekwithdoctorsouth,achildcametothesurgerydoorwhiletheolddoctorandphilipweremakingupprescriptions.itwasalittleedgirlwithadirtyfaceandbarefeet.philipopenedthedoor.

“please,sir,willyoucometomrs.fletcher’sinivylaneatonce?”  “what’sthematterwithmrs.fletcher?”calledoutdoctorsouthinhisraspingvoice.

thechildtooknonoticeofhim,butaddressedherselfagaintophilip.

“please,sir,herlittleboy’shadanaccidentandwillyoucomeatonce?”

“tellmrs.fletcheri’mcoming,”calledoutdoctorsouth.

thelittlegirlhesitatedforamoment,andputtingadirtyfingerinadirtymouthstoodstillandlookedatphilip.

“what’sthematter,kid?”saidphilip,smiling.

“please,sir,mrs.fletchersays,willthenewdoctorcome?”therewasasoundinthedispensaryanddoctorsouthcameoutintothepassage.

“isn’tmrs.fletchersatisfiedwithme?”hebarked.

“i’veattendedmrs.fletchersinceshewasborn.whyaren’tigoodenoughtoattendherfilthybrat?”

thelittlegirllookedforamomentasthoughsheweregoingtocry,thenshethoughtbetterofit;sheputouthertonguedeliberatelyatdoctorsouth,and,beforehecouldrecoverfromhisastonishment,boltedoffasfastasshecouldrun.philipsawthattheoldgentlemanwasannoyed.

“youlookrathered,andit’sagoodishwaytoivylane,”hesaid,bywayofgivinghimanexcusenottogohimself.

doctorsouthgavealowsnarl.

“it’sadamnedsightnearerforamanwho’sgottheuseofbothlegsthanforamanwho’sonlygotoneandahalf.”

philipreddenedandstoodsilentforawhile.

“doyouwishmetogoorwillyougoyourself?”hesaidatlastfrigidly.

“what’sthegoodofmygoing?theywantyou.”

philiptookuphishatandwenttoseethepatient.itwasharduponeighto’clockwhenhecameback.doctorsouthwasstandinginthedining-roomwithhisbacktothefireplace.

“you’vebeenalongtime,”hesaid.

“i’msorry.whydidn’tyoustartdinner?”

“becauseichosetowait.haveyoubeenallthiswhileatmrs.fletcher’s?”

“no,i’mafraidihaven’t.istoppedtolookatthesunsetonmywayback,andididn’tthinkofthetime.”

doctorsouthdidnotreply,andtheservantbroughtinsomegrilledsprats.philipatethemwithanexcellentappetite.suddenlydoctorsouthshotaquestionathim.

“whydidyoulookatthesunset?”

philipansweredwithhismouthfull.

“becauseiwashappy.”

doctorsouthgavehimanoddlook,andtheshadow

ofasmileflickeredacrosshisold,tiredface.theyatetherestofthedinnerinsilence;butwhenthemaidhadgiventhemtheportandlefttheroom,theoldmanleanedbackandfixedhissharpeyesonphilip.

“itstungyouupabitwhenispokeofyourgameleg,youngfellow?”hesaid.

“peoplealwaysdo,directlyorindirectly,whentheygetangrywithme.”

“isupposetheyknowit’syourweakpoint.”

philipfacedhimandlookedathimsteadily.

“areyouverygladtohavediscoveredit?”

thedoctordidnotanswer,buthegaveachuckleofbittermirth.theysatforawhilestaringatoneanother.thendoctorsouthsurprisedphilipextremely.

“whydon’tyoustayhereandi’llgetridofthatdamnedfoolwithhismumps?”

“it’sverykindofyou,butihopetogetanappointmentatthehospitalintheautumn.it’llhelpmesomuchingettingotherworklater.”

“i’mofferingyouapartnership,”saiddoctorsouthgrumpily.

“why?”askedphilip,withsurprise.

“theyseemtolikeyoudownhere.”

“ididn’tthinkthatwasafactwhichaltogethermetwithyourapproval,”philipsaiddrily.

“d’yousupposethatafterfortyyears’practiceicareatwopennydamnwhetherpeopleprefermyassistanttome?no,myfriend.there’snosentimentbetweenmypatientsandme.idon’texpectgratitudefromthem,iexpectthemtopaymyfees.well,whatd’yousaytoit?”

philipmadenoreply,notbecausehewasthinkingovertheproposal,butbecausehewasastonished.itwasevidentlyveryunusualforsomeonetoofferapartnershiptoanewlyqualifiedman;andherealisedwithwonderthat,althoughnothingwouldinducehimtosayso,doctorsouthhadtakenafancytohim.hethoughthowamusedthesecretaryatst.luke’swouldbewhenhetoldhim.

“thepracticebringsinaboutsevenhundredayear.wecanreckonouthowmuchyoursharewouldbeworth,andyoucanpaymeoffbydegrees.andwhenidieyoucaneedme.ithinkthat’sbetterthanknockingabouthospitalsfortwoorthreeyears,andthentakingassistantshipsuntilyoucanaffordtosetupforyourself.”

philipknewitwasachancethatmostpeopleinhisprofessionwouldjumpat;theprofessionwasover-crowded,andhalfthemenheknewwouldbethankfultoacceptthecertaintyofevensomodestacompetenceasthat.

“i’mawfullysorry,butican’t,”hesaid.“itmeansgivingupeverythingi’veaimedatforyears.inonewayandanotheri’vehadaroughishtime,butialwayshadthatonehopebeforeme,togetqualifiedsothatimighttravel;andnow,wheniwakeinthemorning,mybonessimplyachetogetoff,idon’tmindwhereparticularly,butjustaway,toplacesi’veneverbeento.”

nowthegoalseemedverynear.hewouldhavefinishedhisappointmentatst.luke’sbythemiddleofthefollowingyear,andthenhewouldgotospain;hecouldaffordtospendseveralmonthsthere,ramblingupanddownthelandwhichstoodtohimforromance;afterthathewouldgetashipandgototheeast.lifewasbeforehimandtimeofnoaccount.hecouldwander,foryearsifhechose,inunfrequentedplaces,amidstrangepeoples,wherelifewasledinstrangeways.hedidnotknowwhathesoughtorwhathisjourneyswouldbringhim;buthehadafeelingthathewouldlearnsomethingnewaboutlifeandgainsomecluetothemysterythathehadsolvedonlytofindmoremysterious.andevenifhefoundnothinghewouldallaytheunrestwhichgnawedathisheart.butdoctorsouthwasshowinghimagreatkindness,anditseemedungratefultorefusehisofferfornoadequatereason;soinhisshyway,tryingtoappearasmatteroffactaspossible,hemadesomeattempttoexplainwhyitwassoimportanttohimtocarryouttheplanshehadcherishedsopassionately.

doctorsouthlistenedquietly,andagentlelookcameintohisshrewdoldeyes.itseemedtophilipanaddedkindnessthathedidnotpresshimtoaccepthisoffer.benevolenceisoftenveryperemptory.heappearedtolookuponphilip’sreasonsassound.droppingthesubject,hebegantotalkofhisownyouth;hehadbeenintheroyalnavy,anditwashislongconnectionwiththeseathat,whenheretired,hadmadehimsettleatfarnley.hetoldphilipofolddaysinthepacificandofwildadventuresinchina.hehadtakenpartinanexpeditionagainstthehead-huntersofborneoandhadknownsamoawhenitwasstillanindependentstate.hehadtouchedatcoralislands.philiplistenedtohimentranced.littlebylittlehetoldphilipabouthimself.doctorsouthwasawidower,hiswifehaddiedthirtyyearsbefore,andhisdaughterhadmarriedafarmerinrhodesia;hehadquarrelledwithhim,andshehadnotcometoenglandfortenyears.itwasjustasifhehadneverhadwifeorchild.hewasverylonely.hisgruffnesswaslittlemorethanaprotectionwhichheworetohideacompletedisillusionment;andtophilipitseemedtragictoseehimjustwaitingfordeath,notimpatiently,butratherwithloathingforit,hatingoldageandunabletoresignhimselftoitslimitations,andyetwiththefeelingthatdeathwastheonlysolutionofthebitternessofhislife.philipcrossedhispath,andthenaturalaffectionwhichlongseparationfromhisdaughterhadkilled—shehadtakenherhusband’spartinthequarrelandherchildrenhehadneverseen—settleditselfuponphilip.atfirstitmadehimangry,hetoldhimselfitwasasignofdotage;buttherewassomethinginphilipthatattractedhim,andhefoundhimselfsmilingathimheknewnotwhy.philipdidnotborehim.onceortwiceheputhishandonhisshoulder:itwasasnearacaressashehadgotsincehisdaughterleftenglandsomanyyearsbefore.whenthetimecameforphiliptogodoctorsouthaccompaniedhimtothestation:hefoundhimselfountablydepressed.