Chapter116

duringhislastyearatst.luke’sphiliphadtoworkhard.hewascontentedwithlife.hefounditverycomfortabletobeheart-freeandtohaveenoughmoneyforhisneeds.hehadheardpeoplespeakcontemptuouslyofmoney:hewonderediftheyhadevertriedtodowithoutit.heknewthatthelackmadeamanpetty,mean,grasping;itdistortedhischaracterandcausedhimtoviewtheworldfromavulgarangle;whenyouhadtoconsidereverypenny,moneybecameofgrotesqueimportance:youneededacompetencytorateitatitspropervalue.helivedasolitarylife,seeingnooneexcepttheathelnys,buthewasnotlonely;hebusiedhimselfwithplansforthefuture,andsometimeshethoughtofthepast.hisrecollectiondweltnowandthenonoldfriends,buthemadenoefforttoseethem.hewouldhavelikedtoknowwhatwasbecomeofnorahnesbit;shewasnorahsomethingelsenow,buthecouldnotrememberthenameofthemanshewasgoingtomarry;hewasgladtohaveknownher:shewasagoodandabravesoul.oneeveningabouthalfpastelevenhesawlawson,walkingalongadilly;hewasineveningclothesandmightbesupposedtobecomingbackfromatheatre.philipgavewaytoasuddenimpulseandquicklyturneddownasidestreet.hehadnotseenhimfortwoyearsandfeltthathecouldnotnowtakeupagaintheinterruptedfriendship.heandlawsonhadnothingmoretosaytooneanother.philipwasnolongerinterestedinart;itseemedtohimthathewasabletoenjoybeautywithgreaterforcethanwhenhewasaboy;butartappearedtohimunimportant.hewasoccupiedwiththeformingofapatternoutofthemanifoldchaosoflife,andthematerialswithwhichheworkedseemedtomakeupationwithpigmentsandwordsverytrivial.lawsonhadservedhisturn.philip’sfriendshipwithhimhadbeenamotiveinthedesignhewaselaborating:itwasmerelysentimentaltoignorethefactthatthepainterwasofnofurtherinteresttohim.

sometimesphilipthoughtofmildred.heavoideddeliberatelythestreetsinwhichtherewasachanceofseeingher;butoccasionallysomefeeling,perhapscuriosity,perhapssomethingdeeperwhichhewouldnotacknowledge,madehimwanderaboutadillyandregentstreetduringthehourswhenshemightbeexpectedtobethere.hedidnotknowthenwhetherhewishedtoseeherordreadedit.oncehesawabackwhichremindedhimofhers,andforamomenthethoughtitwasshe;itgavehimacurioussensation:itwasastrangesharppaininhisheart,therewasfearinitandasickeningdismay;andwhenhehurriedonandfoundthathewasmistakenhedidnotknowwhetheritwasreliefthatheexperiencedordisappointment.

atthebeginningofaugustphilippassedhissurgery,hislastexamination,andreceivedhisdiploma.itwassevenyearssincehehadenteredst.luke’shospital.hewasnearlythirty.hewalkeddownthestairsoftheroyalcollegeofsurgeonswiththerollinhishandwhichqualifiedhimtopractice,andhisheartbeatwithsatisfaction.

“nowi’mreallygoingtobeginlife,”hethought.

nextdayhewenttothesecretary’sofficetoputhisnamedownforoneofthehospitalappointments.thesecretarywasapleasantlittlemanwithablackbeard,whomphiliphadalwaysfoundveryaffable.hecongratulatedhimonhisess,andthensaid:

“isupposeyouwouldn’tliketodoalocumforamonthonthesouthcoast?threeguineasaweekwithboardandlodging.”  “iwouldn’tmind,”saidphilip.

“it’satfarnley,indorsetshire.doctorsouth.you’dhavetogodownatonce;hisassistanthasdevelopedmumps.ibelieveit’saverypleasantplace.”

therewassomethinginthesecretary’smannerthatpuzzledphilip.itwasalittledoubtful.

“what’sthecrabinit?”heasked.

thesecretaryhesitatedamomentandlaughedinaconciliatingfashion.

“well,thefactis,iunderstandhe’sratheracrusty,funnyoldfellow.theagencieswon’tsendhimanyoneanymore.hespeakshismindveryopenly,andmendon’tlikeit.”

“butd’youthinkhe’llbesatisfiedwithamanwho’sonlyjustqualified?afterallihavenoexperience.”

“heoughttobegladtogetyou,”saidthesecretarydiplomatically.

philipthoughtforamoment.hehadnothingtodoforthenextfewweeks,andhewasgladofthechancetoearnabitofmoney.hecouldputitasidefortheholidayinspainwhichhehadpromisedhimselfwhenhehadfinishedhisappointmentatst.luke’sor,iftheywouldnotgivehimanythingthere,atsomeotherhospital.

“allright.i’llgo.”

“theonlythingis,youmustgothisafternoon.willthatsuityou?ifso,i’llsendawireatonce.”

philipwouldhavelikedafewdaystohimself;buthehadseentheathelnysthenightbefore(hehadgoneatoncetotakethemhisgoodnews)andtherewasreallynoreasonwhyheshouldnotstartimmediately.hehadlittleagetopack.soonafterseventhateveninghegotoutofthestationatfarnleyandtookacabtodoctorsouth’s.itwasabroadlowohouse,withavirginiacreepergrowingoverit.hewasshownintotheconsulting-room.anoldmanwaswritingatadesk.helookedupasthemaidusheredphilipin.hedidnotgetup,andhedidnotspeak;hemerelystaredatphilip.philipwastakenaback.

“ithinkyou’reexpectingme,”hesaid.“thesecretaryofst.luke’swiredtoyouthismorning.”

“ikeptdinnerbackforhalfanhour.d’youwanttowash?”

“ido,”saidphilip.

doctorsouthamusedhimbyhisoddmanner.hegotupnow,andphilipsawthathewasamanofmiddleheight,thin,withwhitehaircutveryshortandalongmouthclosedsotightlythatheseemedtohavenolipsatall;hewasclean-shavenbutforsmallwhitewhiskers,andtheyincreasedthesquarenessoffacewhichhisfirmjawgavehim.heworeabrowntweedsuitandawhitestock.hisclotheshunglooselyabouthimasthoughtheyhadbeenmadeforamuchlargerman.helookedlikearespectablefarmerofthemiddleofthenineteenthcentury.heopenedthedoor.

“thereisthedining-room,”hesaid,pointingtothedooropposite.“yourbed-roomisthefirstdooryoucometowhenyougetonthelanding.comedownstairswhenyou’reready.”

duringdinnerphilipknewthatdoctorsouthwasexamininghim,buthespokelittle,andphilipfeltthathedidnotwanttohearhisassistanttalk.

“whenwereyouqualified?”heaskedsuddenly.

“yesterday.”

“wereyouatauniversity?”

“no.”

“lastyearwhenmyassistanttookaholidaytheysentmea‘varsityman.itold‘emnottodoitagain.toodamnedgentlemanlyforme.”

therewasanotherpause.thedinnerwasverysimpleandverygood.philippreservedasedateexterior,butinhishearthewasbubblingoverwithexcitement.hewasimmenselyelatedatbeingengagedasalocum;itmadehimfeelextremelygrownup;hehadaninsanedesiretolaughatnothinginparticular;andthemorehethoughtofhisprofessionaldignitythemorehewasinclinedtochuckle.

butdoctorsouthbrokesuddenlyintohisthoughts.“howoldareyou?”

“gettingonforthirty.”

“howisityou’reonlyjustqualified?”

“ididn’tgoinforthemedicaltilliwasnearlytwenty-three,andihadtogiveitupfortwoyearsinthemiddle.”

“why?”

“poverty.”

doctorsouthgavehimanoddlookandrelapsedintosilence.attheendofdinnerhegotupfromthetable.

“d’youknowwhatsortofapracticethisis?”

“no,”answeredphilip.

“mostlyfishermenandtheirfamilies.ihavetheunionandtheseamen’shospital.iusedtobealonehere,butsincetheytriedtomakethisintoafashionablesea-sideresortamanhassetuponthecliff,andthewell-to-dopeoplegotohim.ionlyhavethosewhocan’taffordtopayforadoctoratall.”

philipsawthattherivalrywasasorepointwiththeoldman.

“youknowthatihavenoexperience,”saidphilip.

“younoneofyouknowanything.”

hewalkedoutoftheroomwithoutanotherwordandleftphilipbyhimself.whenthemaidcameintoclearawayshetoldphilipthatdoctorsouthsawpatientsfromsixtillseven.workforthatnightwasover.philipfetchedabookfromhisroom,lithispipe,andsettledhimselfdowntoread.itwasagreatcomfort,sincehehadreadnothingbutmedicalbooksforthelastfewmonths.atteno’clockdoctorsouthcameinandlookedathim.philiphatednottohavehisfeetup,andhehadedupachairforthem.

“youseemabletomakeyourselfprettycomfortable,”saiddoctorsouth,withagrimnesswhichwouldhavedisturbedphilipifhehadnotbeen

insuchhighspirits.

philip’seyestwinkledasheanswered.

“haveyouanyobjection?”

doctorsouthgavehimalook,butdidnotreplydirectly.

“what’sthatyou’rereading?”

“peregrinepickle.smollett.”