第12章前往闪亮的旧时光(2)
第12章前往闪亮的旧时光(2)
iheardhersingwheniopenedthedoorbutdidnotwanttointerruptthebeautifulsongbyyellingihadarrived，soijusttiptoedtothelivingroom.ilookedathowherstill-leanbodybentbeautifully，herarmsgreetingthesunlightthatwaspouringthroughthewindow.andherlegs…thoselegsthathadstifflywalked，aidedwithacane，insensibleshoesaslongasicouldremember.nowshewaswearingbeautifuldancingshoesandherlegsobeyedherperfectly.nolimping.nostiffness.justbeautiful，fluidmotion.shewasthepetofthedancingworld.andthenshe，dhadheraccidentanditwasallover.ihadreadthatinanoldnewspaperclipping.
sheturnedaroundinaslowpirouetteandsawmestandinginthedoorway.hersongended，andherbeautifulmovementswithit，soabruptlythatitfeltlikebeingshakenawakefromabeautifuldream.thesuddensilenceranginmyears.grandmalookedsomuchlikeakidcaughtwithherhandinacookiejarthaticouldn，thelpmyself，andaslightlynervouslaughterescaped.grandmasighedandturnedtowardsthekitchen.ifollowedher，notbelievingmyeyes.shewaswalkingwithnodifficultiesinherbeautifulshoes.wesatdownbythetableandcutourselvesbigpiecesofherdeliciouspeachpie.
“so…”iblurted，“howdidyourlegheal？”“totellyouthetruth-mylegshavebeenwellallmylife，”shesaid.
“butidon，tunderstand！”isaid，“yourdancingcareer…imean…youpretendedalltheseyears？”
“verymuchso，”grandmotherclosedhereyesandsavoredthepeachpie，“andforaverygoodreason.”
“whatreason？”
“yourgrandfather.”
“youmeanhetoldyounottodance？”
“no，thiswasmychoice.iamsureiwouldhavelosthimifihadcontinueddancing.iweighedfameandloveagainsteachotherandlovewon.”
shethoughtforawhileandthencontinued.“weweretalkingaboutengagementwhenyourgrandfatherhadtogotowar.itwasthemosthorribledayofmylifewhenheleft.iwassoafraidoflosinghim，theonlywayicouldstaysanewastodance.iputallmyenergyandtimeintopracticing-andibecameverygood.criticspraisedme，thepubliclovedme，butallicouldfeelwastheacheinmyheart，notknowingwhethertheloveofmylifewouldeverreturn.theniwenthomeandreadandre-readhislettersuntilifellasleep.healwaysendedhisletterswithyouaremyjoy.iloveyouwithmylife，andafterthathewrotehisname.andthenonedayalettercame.therewereonlythreesentences：ihavelostmyleg.iamnolongerawholemanandnowgiveyoubackyourfreedom.itisbestyouforgetaboutme.”
“imademydecisionthereandthen.itookmyleave，andtraveledawayfromthecity.whenireturnedihadboughtmyselfacaneandwrappedmylegtightlywithbandages.itoldeveryoneihadbeeninacarcrashandthatmylegwouldnevercompletelyhealagain.mydancingdayswereover.noonesuspectedthestory-ihadlearnedtolimpconvincinglybeforeireturnedhome.andimadesurethefirstpersontohearofmyaccidentwasareporteriknewwell.thenitraveledtothehospital.theyhadpushedyourgrandfatheroutsideinhiswheelchair.therewasacaneonthegroundbyhiswheelchair.itookadeepbreath，leanedonmycaneandlimpedtohim.”
bynowihadforgottenaboutthepieandlistenedtograndma，mesmerized.“whathappenedthen？”ihurriedherwhenshetookhertimeeatingsomepie.
“itoldhimhewasnottheonlyonewhohadlostaleg，evenifminewasstillattachedtome.ishowedhimnewspaperclippingsofmyaccident.soifyouthinki，mgoingtoletyoufeelsorryforyourselffortherestofyourlife，thinkagain.thereisawholelifewaitingforusoutthere！idon，tintendtobesorryformyself.butihaveenoughonmyplateasitis，soyou，dbettersnapoutofittoo.andiamnotgoingtocarryyou-youaregoingtowalkyourself.”grandmaled，asurprisinglygirlishsoundcomingfromanoldladywithwhitehair.
“ilimpedafewstepstowardhimandshowedhimwhati，dtakenoutofmypocket.nowshowmeyouarestillaman，isaid，iwon，taskagain.，hebenttotakehiscanefromthegroundandledoutofthatwheelchair.icouldseehehadnotdoneitbefore，becausehealmostfellonhisface，havingonlyoneleg.butiwasnotgoingtohelp.andsohemanageditonhisownandwalkedtomeandneversatinawheelchairagaininhislife.”
“whatdidyoushowhim？”ihadtoknow.grandmalookedatmeandgrinned.“twoengagementrings，ofcourse.ihadboughtthemthedayafterheleftforthewarandiwasnotgoingtowastethemonanyotherman.”
ilookedatthedrawingonthekitchenwall，sketchedbymygrandfather，shandsomanyyearsbefore.thepicturebecamedistortedastearsfilledmyeyes.“youaremyjoy.iloveyouwithmylife.”imurmuredquietly.theyoungwomaninthedrawingsatonherparkbenchandwithtwinklingeyessmiledbroadlyatme，anengagementringcarefullydrawnonherfinger.
她在跳舞。我那身有残疾的祖母居然在跳舞。我站在客厅的门口，被彻底惊呆了。我扫了一眼厨房的餐桌，果不其然，在餐桌上——墙上那幅小小的相框画像的正下方——有一块新鲜出炉的烤蜜桃派。
当我推门进屋的时候，我听到了她在唱歌，但我不想大喊自己回来了，不想打断那美妙的歌声，于是我踮着脚尖走到客厅。我看着她那依然消瘦的身体优美地弯下，她的手臂迎向从窗口倾泻而入的阳光。而她的腿……自我能记事以来，她总是拄着拐杖，穿着便鞋，走起路来腿脚僵硬。可现在，她正穿着美丽的舞鞋，而她的双腿完全听从着她的支配，不再蹒跚，不再僵硬，只有优美、流畅的动作。她曾是舞蹈界的宠儿。可是后来她遭遇了一场意外，舞蹈生涯因此而结束。我是从一张老旧的剪报中读到这个的。
她缓缓地转身做了一个足尖旋转，见我站在门口，她的歌声戛然而止，还有她那优美的动作，一切停止得如此突然，感觉像是从一场美梦中被人摇醒了。突如其来的寂静冲击着我的耳朵。祖母看起来很像是一个伸手从饼干罐里偷吃却被抓了个正着的小孩，我不禁发出了一阵略带紧张的大笑。祖母叹了口气，转身走向厨房。我跟在她身后，还是不敢相信自己的眼睛。她穿着那双美丽的舞鞋，行走自如。我们坐在了桌边，从她那美味的蜜桃派中切出了大大的几块，两人一起吃。
“那么……”我脱口而出道，“你的腿是怎么好了的？”
“跟你说实话吧——一直以来我的腿都挺好的。”她说。
“可是我不明白！”我说，“你的舞蹈事业……我是说……难道这些年来你一直在假装？”
“的确如此，”祖母闭上眼睛，品尝着蜜桃派，“而且是因为一个非常好的理由。”
“什么理由？”
“你的祖父。”
“你是说，他让你不要再跳舞了？”
“不，这是我自己的选择。我确信当时如果我再继续跳舞的话，我就会失去他。权衡名利和爱情孰轻孰重之后，我选择了爱情。”
她想了一下，然后接着说道：“当你祖父不得不去从军参战的时候，我们正打算订婚。他离开的那段日子是我一生中度过的最可怕的时期。我很害怕会失去他，能让我不至于疯掉的唯一方法就是跳舞。我把我所有的精力和时间都投入到了练习之中，于是我成为了很棒的舞者。评论家对我好评连连，公众对我钟情有嘉，可我唯一能感觉到的却是我心中的痛，因为不知道我一生的挚爱是否能平安归来。然后我回到家里，一遍又一遍地读着他的来信，直到睡去。他总是在信的结尾写着：你才是我的幸福。爱你一生。，然后才是他的签名。但有一天我又收到了他的来信，信中只有三句话：我失去了一条腿。我不再是一个完整的人了，所以现在我将自由归还给你。你最好还是把我忘掉吧。，”
“于是我立刻做出了决定。我向众人告别，离开了这个城市。当我再度归来的时候，我为自己买了一副拐杖，并用绷带把我的腿包得紧紧的。我告诉每一个人，说我遭遇了一场车祸，我的腿再也不可能完全复原了。我的舞蹈生涯就此结束了。没有人怀疑这个故事——我在回家之前已经学会如何惟妙惟肖地跛行。我确保第一个听说我出车祸的是一位我熟知的记者。接着我来到了你祖父所在的医院。他们用轮椅把他推了出来。在他轮椅旁边的地上有一副拐杖。我深深吸了一口气，靠在我的拐杖上，一瘸一拐地向他走去。”