第37章ShearingTheWolf

第37章shearingthewolf

jeffpeterswasalwayseloquentwhentheethicsofhisprofes-sionwasunderdiscussion.

"theonlytimes,"saidhe,"thatmeandandytuckereverhadanyhiatusesinourcordialintentswaswhenwedifferedonthemoralaspectsofgrafting.andyhadhisstandardsandihadmine.ididn'tapproveofallofandy'sschemesforlevyingcontributionsfromthepublic,andhethoughtiallowedmyconsciencetointerferetoooftenforthefinancialgoodofthefirm.wehadhighargumentssometimes.onewordledontoanothertillhesaidiremindedhimofrockefeller.

"'idon'tknowhowyoumeanthat,andy,’saysi,'butwehavebeenfriendstoolongformetotakeoffense,atatauntthatyouwillregretwhenyoucooloff.ihaveyet,’saysi,'toshakehandswithasubpoenaserver.’"onesummermeandandydecidedtorestupaspellinafinelittletowninthemountainsofkentuckycalledgrassdale.wewassupposedtobehorsedrovers,andgooddecentcitizensbesides,takingasummervacation,thegrassdalepeoplelikedus,andmeandandydeclaredacessationofhostilities,neversomuchasfloatingtheflyleafofarubberconcessionprospectusorflashingabraziliandiamondwhilewewasthere.

"onedaytheleadinghardwaremerchantofgrassdaledropsaroundtothehotelwheremeandandystopped,andsmokeswithus,sociable,onthesideporch.weknewhimprettywellfrompitchingquoitsintheafternoonsinthecourthouseyard.hewasaloud,redman,breathinghard,butfatandrespectablebeyondallreason.

"afterwetalkonallthenotoriousthemesoftheday,thismurkison—forsuchwashisentitlements—takesaletteroutofhiscoatpocketinacareful,carelesswayandhandsittoustoread.

"'now,whatdoyouthinkofthat?’sayshe,taughing—'aletterlikethattome!’

"meandandyseesataglancewhatitis;butwepretendtoreaditthrough.itwasoneofthemoldtimetypewrittengreengoodslettersexplaininghowfor$1,000youcouldget$5,000inbillsthatanexpertcouldn'ttellfromthegenuine;andgoingontotellhowtheyweremadefromplatesstolenbyanemployeeofthetreasuryatwashington.

"'thinkof'emsendingaletterlikethattome!’saysmurkisonagain.

"'lot'sofgoodmenget'em,’saysandy.'ifyoudon'tanswerthefirstlettertheyletyoudrop.ifyouanswerittheywriteagainaskingyoutocomeonwithyourmoneyanddobusiness.’

"'butthinkof'emwritingtome!saysmurkison.

"afewdayslaterhedropsaroundagain.

"'boys,’sayshe,'iknowyouareallrightoriwouldn'tconfideinyou.iwrotetothemrascalsagainjustforfun.theyansweredandtoldmetocomeontochicago.theysaidtelegraphtoj.smithwheniwouldstart.whenigettherei'mtowaitonacertainstreetcornertillamaninagraysuitcomesalonganddropsanewspaperinfrontofme.theniamtoaskhimhowthewateris,andheknowsit'smeandiknowit'shim.’

"'ah,yes,’saysandy,gaping,'it'sthesameoldgame.i'veoftenreadaboutitinthepapers.thenheconductsyoutotheprivateabattoirinthehotel,wheremr.jonesisalreadywaiting.theyshowyoubrandnewrealmoneyandsellyouallyouwantatfiveforone.yousee'emputitinasatchelforyouandknowit'sthere.ofcourseit'sbrownpaperwhenyoucometotookatitafterward.’

"'oh,theycouldn'tswitchitonme,’saysmurkison.'ihaven'tbuiltupthebestpayingbusinessingrassdalewithouthavingwitticismsaboutme.yousayit'srealmoneytheyshowyou,mr.tucker?’

"'i'vealways—iseebythepapersthatitalwaysis,’saysandy.

"'boys,’saysmurkison,'i'vegotitinmymindthatthefellowscan'tfoolme.ithinki'llputacoupleofthousandinmyjeansandgoupthereandputitallover'em.ifbillmurkisongetshiseyesonceonthembillstheyshowhimhe'llnevertake'emoffof'em.theyoffer$5for$1,andthey'llhavetosticktothebargainifitackle'em.that'sthekindoftraderbillmurkisonis.yes,ijistbelievei'lldropupchicagowayandtakea5to1shotonj.smith.iguessthewater'llbefineenough.’

"meandandytriestogetthisfinancialmisquotationoutofmurkison'shead,butwemightaswellhavetriedtokeepthemanwhorollspeanutswithatoothpickfrombettingonbryan'selection.no,sir;hewasgoingtoperformapublicdutybycatchingthesegreengoodsswindlersattheirowngame.maybeitwouldteach'emalesson.

"aftermurkisonleftusmeandandysatawhilepreponderingoveroursilentmeditationsandheresiesofreason.inouridlehourswealwaysimprovedourhigherselvesbyratiocinationandmentalthouglt.

"'jeff,’saysandyafteralongtime,'quiteunseldomihaveseenfittoimpugnyourmolarswhenyouhavebeenchewingtheragwithmeaboutyourconscientiouswayofdoingbusiness.imayhavebeenoftenwrong.buthereisacasewhereithinkwecanagree.ifeelthatitwouldbewrongforustoallowmr.murkisontogoalonetomeetthosechicagogreengoodsmen.thereisbutonewayitcanend.don'tyouthinkwewouldbothfeelbetterifwewastointerveneinsomewayandpreventthedoingofthisdeed?’

"igotupandshookandytucker'shandhardandlong.

"'andy,’saysi,'imayhavehadoneortwohardthoughtsabouttheheartlessnessofyourcorporauon,butiretract'emnow.youhaveakindnucleusattheinteriorofyourexteriorafterall.itdoesyoucredit.iwasjustthinkingthesamethingthatyouhaveexpressed.itwouldnotbehonorableorpraiseworthy,’saysi,'forustoletmurkisongoonwiththisproiecthehastakenup.ifheisdeterminedtogoletusgowithhimandpreventthisswindlefromcomingoff.’

"andyagreedwithme;andiwasgladtoseethathewasinearnestaboutbreakingupthisgreengondsscheme.

"'idon'tcallmyselfareligiousman,’saysi,'orafanaticinmoralbigotry,butican'tstandstillandseeamanwhohasbuiltuphisbusinessbyhisowneffortsandbrainsandriskberobbedbyanunscrupuloustricksterwhoisamenacetothepublicgood.’

"'right,jeff,’saysandy.'we'llstickrightalongwithmurkisonifheinsistsongoingandblockthisfunnybusiness.i'dhatetoseeanymoneydroppedinitasbadasyouwould.’

"well,wewenttoseemurkison.

"'no,boys,’sayshe.'ican'tconsenttoletthesongofthischicagosirenwaftbymeonthesummerbreeze.i'llfrysomefatoutofthisignisfatuusorburnaholeintheskillet.buti'dbeplumbdivertedtodeathtohaveyouallgoalongwithme.maybeyoucouldhelpsomewhenitcomestocashinginthetickettothat5to1shot,yes,i'dreallytakeitasapastimeandregalementifyouboyswouldgoalongtoo.’

"murkisongivesitoutingrassdalethatheisgoingforafewdayswithmr.petersandmr.tuckertolookoversomeironorepropertyinwestvirginia.hewiresj.smiththathewillsetfootinthespiderwebonagivendate;andthethreeofuslightsoutforchicago.

"onthewaymurkisonamuseshimselfwithpremonitionsandadvancepleasantrecollections.

"'inagraysuit,’sayshe,'onthesouthwestcornerofwabashavenueandlakestreet.hedropsthepaper,andiaskhowthewateris.oh,my,my,my!’andthenhelaughsalloverforfiveminutes.

"sometimesmurkisonwasseriousandtriedtotalkhimselfoutofhiscogitations,whatevertheywas.

"'boys,’sayshe,'iwouldn’thavethistogetoutingrassdalefortentimesathousanddollars.itwouldruinmethere.butiknowyouallareallright.ithinkit'sthedutyofeverycitizen,’sayshe,'totrytodouptheserobbersthatpreyuponthepublic.i'llshow'emwhetherthewater'sfine.fivedollarsforone—that'swhatj.smithoffers,andhe'llhavetokeephiscontractifhedoesbusinesswithbillmurkison.’

"wegotintochicagoabout7p.m.murkisonwastomeetthegraymanathalf-past9.wehaddinneratahotelandthenwentuptomurkison'sroomtowaitforthetimetocome.

"'nowboys,’saysmurkison,'let'sgetourgumptiontogetherandinoculateaplanfordefeatingtheenemy.supposewhilei'mexchangingairybandagewiththegraycapperyougentscomealong,byaccident,youknow,andholler:"hello,murk!"andshakehandswithsymptomsofsurpriseandfamiliarity.thenitakethecapperasideandtellhimyouallarejenkinsandbrownofgrassdale,groceriesandfeed,goodmenandmaybewillingtotakeachancewhileawayfromhome.’

"'"bring'emalong,"he'llsay,ofcourse,"iftheycaretoinvest,"now,howdoesthatschemestrikeyou?’

"'whatdoyousay,jeff?’saysandy,lookingatme.

"'why,i'lltellyouwhatisay,saysi.isaylet'ssettlethisthingrightherenow.idon'tseeanyuseofwastinganymoretime.’itookanickel-plated.38outofmypocketandclickedthecylinderaroundafewtimes.

"'youundevout,sinful,insidioushog,’saysitomurkison,'getout,thattwothousandandlayitonthetable.obeywithvelocay,’saysi,'forotherwisealternativesareimpending.iampreferablyamanofmildness,butnowandthenifindmyselfinthemiddleofextremities.suchmenasyou,’iwentonafterhehadlaidthemoneyout,'iswhatkeepsthejailsandcourthousesgoing.youcomeupheretorobthesemenoftheirmoney.doesitexcuseyou?’iasks,'thattheyweretryingtoskinyou?no,sir;youwasgoingtorobpetertostandoffpaul.youaretentimesworse,’saysi,'thanthatgreengoodsman.yougotochurchathomeandpretendtobeadecentcitizen,butyou'llcometochicagoandcommitlarcenyfrommenthathavebuiltupasoundandprofitablebusinessbydealingwithsuchcontemptiblescoundrelsasyouhavetriedtobetoday.howdoyouknow,’saysi,'thatthatgreengoodsmanhasn'talargefamilydependentuponhisextortions?it'syousupposedlyrespectablecitizenswhoarealwaysonthelookouttogetsomethingfornothing,saysi,thatsupportthelotteriesandwild-catminesandstockexchangesandwiretappersofthiscountry.ifitwasn'tforyouthey'dgooutofbusiness.thegreengoodsmanyouwasgoingtorob,’saysi,'studiedmaybeforyearstolearnhistrade.everyturnhemakesheriskshismoneyandlibertyandmaybehislife.youcomeuphereallsanctifiedandvanopliedwithrespectabilityandapleasingpostofficeaddresstoswindlehim.ifhegetsthemoneyyoucansquealtothepolice,ifyougetithehocksthegraysuittobuysupperandsaysnothing.mr.tuckerandmesizedyouup,’saysi,'andcamealongtoseethatyougotwhatyoudeserved.handoverthemoney,’saysi,'yougrass-fedhypocrite.’

"iputthetwothousand,whichwasallin$20bills,inmyinsidepocket.

"'nowgetoutyourwatch,’saysitomurkison.'no,idon'twantit,’saysi.'layitonthetableandyousitinthatchairtinlticksoffanhour,thenyoucango.ifyoumakeanynoiseorleaveanysoonerwe'llhandbillyouallovergrassdale.iguessyourhighpositionthereisworthmorethan$2,000toyou.’

"thenmeandandyleft.

"onthetrainandywasalongtimesilent.thenhesays:'jeff,doyoumindmyaskingyouaquestion?’

"'two,’saysi,'orforty.’

"'wasthattheideayouhad,’sayshe,'whenwestartedoutwithmurkison?’

"'why,certainly,’saysi.'whatelsecouldithavebeen?wasn'tityours,too?’

"inabouthalfanhourandyspokeagain.ithinktherearetimeswhenandydon'texactlyunderstandmysystemofethicsandmoralhygiene.

"'jeff,’sayshe,'sometimewhenyouhavetheleisureiwishyou'ddrawoffadiagramandfoot-notesofthatconscienceofyours.i'dliketohaveittorefertooccasionally.’"