第90章

第90章“doyouknow,rodya,marfapetrovnaisdead,”pulcheriaalexandrovnasuddenlyblurtedout.

“whatmarfapetrovna?”

“oh,mercyonus—marfapetrovnasvidrigailov.iwroteyousomuchabouther.”

“a-a-h!yes,iremember.…soshe’sdead!oh,really?”herousedhimselfsuddenly,asifwakingup.“whatdidshedieof?”

“onlyimagine,quitesuddenly,”pulcheriaalexandrovnaansweredhurriedly,encouragedbyhiscuriosity.“ontheverydayiwassendingyouthatletter!wouldyoubelieveit,thatawfulmanseemstohavebeenthecauseofherdeath.theysayhebeatherdreadfully.”

“why,weretheyonsuchbadterms?”heasked,addressinghissister.

“notatall.quitethecontraryindeed.withher,hewasalwaysverypatient,considerateeven.infact,allthosesevenyearsoftheirmarriedlifehegavewaytoher,toomuchsoindeed,inmanycases.allofasuddenheseemstohavelostpatience.”

“thenhecouldnothavebeensoawfulifhecontrolledhimselfforsevenyears?youseemtobedefendinghim,dounia?”

“no,no,he’sanawfulman!icanimaginenothingmoreawful!”douniaanswered,almostwithashudder,knittingherbrows,andsinkingintothought.

“thathadhappenedinthemorning,”pulcheriaalexandrovnawentonhurriedly.“anddirectlyafterwardssheorderedthehorsestobeharnessedtodrivetothetownimmediatelyafterdinner.shealwaysusedtodrivetothetowninsuchcases.sheateaverygooddinner,iamtold.…”

“afterthebeating?”

“thatwasalwaysher…habit;andimmediatelyafterdinner,soasnottobelateinstarting,shewenttothebath-house.…yousee,shewasundergoingsometreatmentwithbaths.theyhaveacoldspringthere,andsheusedtobatheinitregularlyeveryday,andnosoonerhadshegotintothewaterwhenshesuddenlyhadastroke!”

“ishouldthinkso,”saidzossimov.

“anddidhebeatherbadly?”

“whatdoesthatmatter!”putindounia.

“h’m!butidon’tknowwhyyouwanttotellussuchgossip,mother,”saidraskolnikovirritably,asitwereinspiteofhimself.

“ah,mydear,idon’tknowwhattotalkabout,”brokefrompulcheriaalexandrovna.

“why,areyouallafraidofme?”heasked,withaconstrainedsmile.

“that’scertainlytrue,”saiddounia,lookingdirectlyandsternlyatherbrother.“motherwascrossingherselfwithterrorasshecameupthestairs.”

hisfaceworked,asthoughinconvulsion.

“ach,whatareyousaying,dounia!don’tbeangry,please,rodya.…whydidyousaythat,dounia?”pulcheriaalexandrovnabegan,overwhelmed—“yousee,cominghere,iwasdreamingalltheway,inthetrain,howweshouldmeet,howweshouldtalkovereverythingtogether.…andiwassohappy,ididnotnoticethejourney!butwhatamisaying?iamhappynow.…youshouldnot,dounia.…iamhappynow—simplyinseeingyou,rodya.…”

“hush,mother,”hemutteredinconfusion,notlookingather,butpressingherhand.“weshallhavetimetospeakfreelyofeverything!”

ashesaidthis,hewassuddenlyoverwhelmedwithconfusionandturnedpale.againthatawfulsensationhehadknownoflatepassedwithdeadlychilloverhissoul.againitbecamesuddenlyplainandperceptibletohimthathehadjusttoldafearfullie—thathewouldnevernowbeabletospeakfreelyofeverything—thathewouldneveragainbeabletospeakofanythingtoanyone.theanguishofthisthoughtwassuchthatforamomenthealmostforgothimself.hegotupfromhisseat,andnotlookingatanyonewalkedtowardsthedoor.

“whatareyouabout?”criedrazumihin,clutchinghimbythearm.

hesatdownagain,andbeganlookingabouthim,insilence.theywerealllookingathiminperplexity.

“butwhatareyouallsodullfor?”heshouted,suddenlyandquiteunexpectedly.“dosaysomething!what’stheuseofsittinglikethis?come,dospeak.letustalk.…wemeettogetherandsitinsilence.…come,anything!”

“thankgod;iwasafraidthesamethingasyesterdaywasbeginningagain,”saidpulcheriaalexandrovna,crossingherself.

“whatisthematter,rodya?”askedavdotyaromanovna,distrustfully.

“oh,nothing!irememberedsomething,”heanswered,andsuddenlylaughed.

“well,ifyourememberedsomething;that’sallright!…iwasbeginningtothink…”mutteredzossimov,gettingupfromthesofa.“itistimeformetobeoff.iwilllookinagainperhaps…ifican…”hemadehisbows,andwentout.

“whatanexcellentman!”observedpulcheriaalexandrovna.

“yes,excellent,splendid,well-educated,intelligent,”raskolnikovbegan,suddenlyspeakingwithsurprisingrapidity,andalivelinesshehadnotshowntillthen.“ican’trememberwhereimethimbeforemyillness.…ibelieveihavemethimsomewhere——…andthisisagoodman,too,”henoddedatrazumihin.“doyoulikehim,dounia?”heaskedher;andsuddenly,forsomeunknownreason,laughed.

“verymuch,”answereddounia.

“foo!—whatapigyouare!”razumihinprotested,blushinginterribleconfusion,andhegotupfromhischair.pulcheriaalexandrovnasmiledfaintly,butraskolnikovlaughedaloud.

“whereareyouoffto?”

“imustgo.”

“youneednotatall.stay.zossimovhasgone,soyoumust.don’tgo.what’sthetime?isittwelveo’clock?whataprettywatchyouhavegot,dounia.butwhyareyouallsilentagain?idoallthetalking.”

“itwasapresentfrommarfapetrovna,”answereddounia.

“andaveryexpensiveone!”addedpulcheriaalexandrovna.

“a-ah!whatabigone!hardlylikealady’s.”

“ilikethatsort,”saiddounia.

“soitisnotapresentfromherfiance,”thoughtrazumihin,andwasunreasonablydelighted.

“ithoughtitwasluzhin’spresent,”observedraskolnikov.

“no,hehasnotmadedouniaanypresentsyet.”

“a-ah!anddoyouremember,mother,iwasinloveandwantedtogetmarried?”hesaidsuddenly,lookingathismother,whowasdisconcertedbythesuddenchangeofsubjectandthewayhespokeofit.

“oh,yes,mydear.”

pulcheriaalexandrovnaexchangedglanceswithdouniaandrazumihin.