第189章

第189章“ah,avdotyaromanovna,everythingisinamuddlenow;notthatitwaseverinverygoodorder.russiansingeneralarebroadintheirideas,avdotyaromanovna,broadliketheirlandandexceedinglydisposedtothefantastic,thechaotic.butit’samisfortunetobebroadwithoutaspecialgenius.doyourememberwhatalotoftalkwehadtogetheronthissubject,sittingintheeveningsontheterraceaftersupper?why,youusedtoreproachmewithbreadth!whoknows,perhapsweweretalkingattheverytimewhenhewaslyingherethinkingoverhisplan.therearenosacredtraditionsamongstus,especiallyintheeducatedclass,avdotyaromanovna.atthebestsomeonewillmakethemupsomehowforhimselfoutofbooksorfromsomeoldchronicle.butthoseareforthemostpartthelearnedandalloldfogeys,sothatitwouldbealmostill-bredinamanofsociety.youknowmyopinionsingeneral,though.ineverblameanyone.idonothingatall,ipersevereinthat.butwe’vetalkedofthismorethanoncebefore.iwassohappyindeedastointerestyouinmyopinions.…youareverypale,avdotyaromanovna.”

“iknowhistheory.ireadthatarticleofhisaboutmentowhomallispermitted.razumihinbroughtittome.”

“mr.razumihin?yourbrother’sarticle?inamagazine?istheresuchanarticle?ididn’tknow.itmustbeinteresting.butwhereareyougoing,avdotyaromanovna?”

“iwanttoseesofyasemyonovna,”douniaarticulatedfaintly.“howdoigotoher?shehascomein,perhaps.imustseeheratonce.perhapsshe…”

avdotyaromanovnacouldnotfinish.herbreathliterallyfailedher.

“sofyasemyonovnawillnotbebacktillnight,atleastibelievenot.shewastohavebeenbackatonce,butifnot,thenshewillnotbeintillquitelate.”

“ah,thenyouarelying!isee…youwerelying…lyingallthetime.…idon’tbelieveyou!idon’tbelieveyou!”crieddounia,completelylosingherhead.

almostfainting,shesankontoachairwhichsvidrigailovmadehastetogiveher.

“avdotyaromanovna,whatisit?controlyourself!hereissomewater.drinkalittle.…”

hesprinkledsomewateroverher.douniashudderedandcametoherself.

“ithasactedviolently,”svidrigailovmutteredtohimself,frowning.“avdotyaromanovna,calmyourself!believeme,hehasfriends.wewillsavehim.wouldyoulikemetotakehimabroad?ihavemoney,icangetaticketinthreedays.andasforthemurder,hewilldoallsortsofgooddeedsyet,toatoneforit.calmyourself.hemaybecomeagreatmanyet.well,howareyou?howdoyoufeel?”

“cruelman!tobeabletojeeratit!letmego…”

“whereareyougoing?”

“tohim.whereishe?doyouknow?whyisthisdoorlocked?wecameinatthatdoorandnowitislocked.whendidyoumanagetolockit?”

“wecouldn’tbeshoutingallovertheflatonsuchasubject.iamfarfromjeering;it’ssimplythati’msickoftalkinglikethis.buthowcanyougoinsuchastate?doyouwanttobetrayhim?youwilldrivehimtofury,andhewillgivehimselfup.letmetellyou,heisalreadybeingwatched;theyarealreadyonhistrack.youwillsimplybegivinghimaway.waitalittle:isawhimandwastalkingtohimjustnow.hecanstillbesaved.waitabit,sitdown;letusthinkitovertogether.iaskedyoutocomeinordertodiscussitalonewithyouandtoconsideritthoroughly.butdositdown!”

“howcanyousavehim?canhereallybesaved?”

douniasatdown.svidrigailovsatdownbesideher.

“italldependsonyou,onyou,onyoualone,”hebeginwithglowingeyes,almostinawhisperandhardlyabletoutterthewordsforemotion.

douniadrewbackfromhiminalarm.hetoowastremblingallover.

“you…onewordfromyou,andheissaved.i…i’llsavehim.ihavemoneyandfriends.i’llsendhimawayatonce.i’llgetapassport,twopassports,oneforhimandoneforme.ihavefriends…capablepeople.…ifyoulike,i’lltakeapassportforyou…foryourmother.…whatdoyouwantwithrazumihin?iloveyoutoo.…iloveyoubeyondeverything.…letmekissthehemofyourdress,letme,letme.…theveryrustleofitistoomuchforme.tellme,‘dothat,’andi’lldoit.i’lldoeverything.iwilldotheimpossible.whatyoubelieve,iwillbelieve.i’lldoanything—anything!don’t,don’tlookatmelikethat.doyouknowthatyouarekillingme?…”

hewasalmostbeginningtorave.…somethingseemedsuddenlytogotohishead.douniajumpedupandrushedtothedoor.

“openit!openit!”shecalled,shakingthedoor.“openit!istherenoonethere?”

svidrigailovgotupandcametohimself.hisstilltremblinglipsslowlybrokeintoanangrymockingsmile.

“thereisnooneathome,”hesaidquietlyandemphatically.“thelandladyhasgoneout,andit’swasteoftimetoshoutlikethat.youareonlyexcitingyourselfuselessly.”

“whereisthekey?openthedooratonce,atonce,baseman!”

“ihavelostthekeyandcannotfindit.”

“thisisanoutrage,”crieddounia,turningpaleasdeath.sherushedtothefurthestcorner,whereshemadehastetobarricadeherselfwithalittletable.

shedidnotscream,butshefixedhereyesonhertormentorandwatchedeverymovementhemade.

svidrigailovremainedstandingattheotherendoftheroomfacingher.hewaspositivelycomposed,atleastinappearance,buthisfacewaspaleasbefore.themockingsmiledidnotleavehisface.

“youspokeofoutragejustnow,avdotyaromanovna.inthatcaseyoumaybesurei’vetakenmeasures.sofyasemyonovnaisnotathome.thekapernaumovsarefaraway—therearefivelockedroomsbetween.iamatleasttwiceasstrongasyouareandihavenothingtofear,besides.foryoucouldnotcomplainafterwards.yousurelywouldnotbewillingactuallytobetrayyourbrother?besides,noonewouldbelieveyou.howshouldagirlhavecomealonetovisitasolitarymaninhislodgings?sothatevenifyoudosacrificeyourbrother,youcouldprovenothing.itisverydifficulttoproveanassault,avdotyaromanovna.”

“scoundrel!”whispereddouniaindignantly.