第188章

第188章hebroughtavdotyaromanovnabackintohissitting-roomandofferedherachair.hesatdownattheoppositesideofthetable,atleastsevenfeetfromher,butprobablytherewasthesameglowinhiseyeswhichhadoncefrighteneddouniasomuch.sheshudderedandoncemorelookedaboutherdistrustfully.itwasaninvoluntarygesture;sheevidentlydidnotwishtobetrayheruneasiness.butthesecludedpositionofsvidrigailov’slodginghadsuddenlystruckher.shewantedtoaskwhetherhislandladyatleastwereathome,butpridekeptherfromasking.moreover,shehadanothertroubleinherheartincomparablygreaterthanfearforherself.shewasingreatdistress.

“hereisyourletter,”shesaid,layingitonthetable.“canitbetruewhatyouwrite?youhintatacrimecommitted,yousay,bymybrother.youhintatittooclearly;youdaren’tdenyitnow.imusttellyouthati’dheardofthisstupidstorybeforeyouwroteanddon’tbelieveawordofit.it’sadisgustingandridiculoussuspicion.iknowthestoryandwhyandhowitwasinvented.youcanhavenoproofs.youpromisedtoproveit.speak!butletmewarnyouthatidon’tbelieveyou!idon’tbelieveyou!”

douniasaidthis,speakinghurriedly,andforaninstantthecolourrushedtoherface.

“ifyoudidn’tbelieveit,howcouldyouriskcomingalonetomyrooms?whyhaveyoucome?simplyfromcuriosity?”

“don’ttormentme.speak,speak!”

“there’snodenyingthatyouareabravegirl.uponmyword,ithoughtyouwouldhaveaskedmr.razumihintoescortyouhere.buthewasnotwithyounoranywherenear.iwasonthelook-out.it’sspiritedofyou,itprovesyouwantedtosparerodionromanovitch.buteverythingisdivineinyou.…aboutyourbrother,whatamitosaytoyou?you’vejustseenhimyourself.whatdidyouthinkofhim?”

“surelythat’snottheonlythingyouarebuildingon?”

“no,notonthat,butonhisownwords.hecamehereontwoessiveeveningstoseesofyasemyonovna.i’veshownyouwheretheysat.hemadeafullconfessiontoher.heisamurderer.hekilledanoldwoman,apawnbroker,withwhomhehadpawnedthingshimself.hekilledhersistertoo,apedlarwomancalledlizaveta,whohappenedtocomeinwhilehewasmurderinghersister.hekilledthemwithanaxehebroughtwithhim.hemurderedthemtorobthemandhedidrobthem.hetookmoneyandvariousthings.…hetoldallthis,wordforword,tosofyasemyonovna,theonlypersonwhoknowshissecret.butshehashadnosharebywordordeedinthemurder;shewasashorrifiedatitasyouarenow.don’tbeanxious,shewon’tbetrayhim.”

“itcannotbe,”muttereddounia,withwhitelips.shegaspedforbreath.“itcannotbe.therewasnottheslightestcause,nosortofground.…it’salie,alie!”

“herobbedher,thatwasthecause,hetookmoneyandthings.it’struethatbyhisownadmissionhemadenouseofthemoneyorthings,buthidthemunderastone,wheretheyarenow.butthatwasbecausehedarednotmakeuseofthem.”

“buthowcouldhesteal,rob?howcouldhedreamofit?”crieddounia,andshejumpedupfromthechair.“why,youknowhim,andyou’veseenhim,canhebeathief?”

sheseemedtobeimploringsvidrigailov;shehadentirelyforgottenherfear.

“therearethousandsandmillionsofcombinationsandpossibilities,avdotyaromanovna.athiefstealsandknowsheisascoundrel,buti’veheardofagentlemanwhobrokeopenthemail.whoknows,verylikelyhethoughthewasdoingagentlemanlything!ofcourseishouldnothavebelieveditmyselfifi’dbeentoldofitasyouhave,butibelievemyownears.heexplainedallthecausesofittosofyasemyonovnatoo,butshedidnotbelieveherearsatfirst,yetshebelievedherowneyesatlast.”

“what…werethecauses?”

“it’salongstory,avdotyaromanovna.here’s…howshallitellyou?—atheoryofasort,thesameonebywhichiforinstanceconsiderthatasinglemisdeedispermissibleiftheprincipalaimisright,asolitarywrongdoingandhundredsofgooddeeds!it’sgallingtoo,ofcourse,forayoungmanofgiftsandoverweeningpridetoknowthatifhehad,forinstance,apaltrythreethousand,hiswholecareer,hiswholefuturewouldbedifferentlyshapedandyetnottohavethatthreethousand.addtothat,nervousirritabilityfromhunger,fromlodginginahole,fromrags,fromavividsenseofthecharmofhissocialpositionandhissister’sandmother’spositiontoo.aboveall,vanity,prideandvanity,thoughgoodnessknowshemayhavegoodqualitiestoo.…iamnotblaminghim,pleasedon’tthinkit;besides,it’snotmybusiness.aspeciallittletheorycameintoo—atheoryofasort—dividingmankind,yousee,intomaterialandsuperiorpersons,thatispersonstowhomthelawdoesnotapplyowingtotheirsuperiority,whomakelawsfortherestofmankind,thematerial,thatis.it’sallrightasatheory,unetheoriecommeuneautre.napoleonattractedhimtremendously,thatis,whataffectedhimwasthatagreatmanymenofgeniushavenothesitatedatwrongdoing,buthaveoversteppedthelawwithoutthinkingaboutit.heseemstohavefanciedthathewasageniustoo—thatis,hewasconvincedofitforatime.hehassufferedagreatdealandisstillsufferingfromtheideathathecouldmakeatheory,butwasincapableofboldlyoversteppingthelaw,andsoheisnotamanofgenius.andthat’shumiliatingforayoungmanofanypride,inourdayespecially.…”

“butremorse?youdenyhimanymoralfeelingthen?ishelikethat?”