第186章

第186章raskolnikovwalkedafterhim.

“what’sthis?”criedsvidrigailovturninground,“ithoughtisaid…”

“itmeansthatiamnotgoingtolosesightofyounow.”

“what?”

bothstoodstillandgazedatoneanother,asthoughmeasuringtheirstrength.

“fromallyourhalftipsystories,”raskolnikovobservedharshly,“iampositivethatyouhavenotgivenupyourdesignsonmysister,butarepursuingthemmoreactivelythanever.ihavelearntthatmysisterreceivedaletterthismorning.youhavehardlybeenabletositstillallthistime.…youmayhaveunearthedawifeontheway,butthatmeansnothing.ishouldliketomakecertainmyself.”

raskolnikovcouldhardlyhavesaidhimselfwhathewantedandofwhathewishedtomakecertain.

“uponmyword!i’llcallthepolice!”

“callaway!”

againtheystoodforaminutefacingeachother.atlastsvidrigailov’sfacechanged.havingsatisfiedhimselfthatraskolnikovwasnotfrightenedathisthreat,heassumedamirthfulandfriendlyair.

“whatafellow!ipurposelyrefrainedfromreferringtoyouraffair,thoughiamdevouredbycuriosity.it’safantasticaffair.i’veputitofftillanothertime,butyou’reenoughtorousethedead.…well,letusgo,onlyiwarnyoubeforehandiamonlygoinghomeforamoment,togetsomemoney;thenishalllockuptheflat,takeacabandgotospendtheeveningattheislands.now,nowareyougoingtofollowme?”

“i’mcomingtoyourlodgings,nottoseeyoubutsofyasemyonovna,tosayi’msorrynottohavebeenatthefuneral.”

“that’sasyoulike,butsofyasemyonovnaisnotathome.shehastakenthethreechildrentoanoldladyofhighrank,thepatronessofsomeorphanasylums,whomiusedtoknowyearsago.icharmedtheoldladybydepositingasumofmoneywithhertoprovideforthethreechildrenofkaterinaivanovnaandsubscribingtotheinstitutionaswell.itoldhertoothestoryofsofyasemyonovnainfulldetail,suppressingnothing.itproducedanindescribableeffectonher.that’swhysofyasemyonovnahasbeeninvitedtocallto-dayatthex.hotelwheretheladyisstayingforthetime.”

“nomatter,i’llcomeallthesame.”

“asyoulike,it’snothingtome,butiwon’tcomewithyou;hereweareathome.bytheway,iamconvincedthatyouregardmewithsuspicionjustbecauseihaveshownsuchdelicacyandhavenotsofartroubledyouwithquestions…youunderstand?itstruckyouasextraordinary;idon’tmindbettingit’sthat.well,itteachesonetoshowdelicacy!”

“andtolistenatdoors!”

“ah,that’sit,isit?”laughedsvidrigailov.“yes,ishouldhavebeensurprisedifyouhadletthatpassafterallthathashappened.ha-ha!thoughididunderstandsomethingofthepranksyouhadbeenuptoandweretellingsofyasemyonovnaabout,whatwasthemeaningofit?perhapsiamquitebehindthetimesandcan’tunderstand.forgoodness’sake,explainit,mydearboy.expoundthelatesttheories!”

“youcouldn’thaveheardanything.you’remakingitallup!”

“buti’mnottalkingaboutthat(thoughididhearsomething).no,i’mtalkingofthewayyoukeepsighingandgroaningnow.theschillerinyouisinrevolteverymoment,andnowyoutellmenottolistenatdoors.ifthat’showyoufeel,goandinformthepolicethatyouhadthismischance:youmadealittlemistakeinyourtheory.butifyouareconvincedthatonemustn’tlistenatdoors,butonemaymurderoldwomenatone’spleasure,you’dbetterbeofftoamericaandmakehaste.run,youngman!theremaystillbetime.i’mspeakingsincerely.haven’tyouthemoney?i’llgiveyouthefare.”

“i’mnotthinkingofthatatall,”raskolnikovinterruptedwithdisgust.

“iunderstand(butdon’tputyourselfout,don’tdiscussitifyoudon’twantto).iunderstandthequestionsyouareworryingover—moralones,aren’tthey?dutiesofcitizenandman?laythemallaside.theyarenothingtoyounow,ha-ha!you’llsayyouarestillamanandacitizen.ifsoyououghtnottohavegotintothiscoil.it’snousetakingupajobyouarenotfitfor.well,you’dbettershootyourself,ordon’tyouwantto?”

“youseemtryingtoenrageme,tomakemeleaveyou.”

“whataqueerfellow!buthereweare.welcometothestaircase.yousee,that’sthewaytosofyasemyonovna.look,thereisnooneathome.don’tyoubelieveme?askkapernaumov.sheleavesthekeywithhim.hereismadamedekapernaumovherself.hey,what?sheisratherdeaf.hasshegoneout?where?didyouhear?sheisnotinandwon’tbetilllateintheeveningprobably.well,cometomyroom;youwantedtocomeandseeme,didn’tyou?hereweare.madameresslich’snotathome.sheisawomanwhoisalwaysbusy,anexcellentwomaniassureyou.…shemighthavebeenofusetoyouifyouhadbeenalittlemoresensible.now,see!itakethisfive-per-centbondoutofthebureau—seewhataloti’vegotofthemstill—thisonewillbeturnedintocashto-day.imustn’twasteanymoretime.thebureauislocked,theflatislocked,andhereweareagainonthestairs.shallwetakeacab?i’mgoingtotheislands.wouldyoulikealift?i’lltakethiscarriage.ah,yourefuse?youaretiredofit!comeforadrive!ibelieveitwillcomeontorain.nevermind,we’llputdownthehood.…”

svidrigailovwasalreadyinthecarriage.raskolnikovdecidedthathissuspicionswereatleastforthatmomentunjust.withoutansweringawordheturnedandwalkedbacktowardsthehaymarket.ifhehadonlyturnedroundonhiswayhemighthaveseensvidrigailovgetoutnotahundredpacesoff,dismissthecabandwalkalongthepavement.buthehadturnedthecornerandcouldseenothing.intensedisgustdrewhimawayfromsvidrigailov.

“tothinkthaticouldforoneinstanthavelookedforhelpfromthatcoarsebrute,thatdepravedsensualistandblackguard!”hecried.