第180章
第180章raskolnikovdroppedhisrightelbowonthetable,leanedhischininthefingersofhisrighthand,andstaredintentlyatsvidrigailov.forafullminutehescrutinisedhisface,whichhadimpressedhimbefore.itwasastrangeface,likeamask;whiteandred,withbrightredlips,withaflaxenbeard,andstillthickflaxenhair.hiseyesweresomehowtooblueandtheirexpressionsomehowtooheavyandfixed.therewassomethingawfullyunpleasantinthathandsomeface,whichlookedsowonderfullyyoungforhisage.svidrigailovwassmartlydressedinlightsummerclothesandwasparticularlydaintyinhislinen.heworeahugeringwithapreciousstoneinit.
“haveigottobothermyselfaboutyou,too,now?”saidraskolnikovsuddenly,comingwithnervousimpatiencestraighttothepoint.“eventhoughperhapsyouarethemostdangerousmanifyoucaretoinjureme,idon’twanttoputmyselfoutanymore.iwillshowyouatoncethatidon’tprizemyselfasyouprobablythinkido.i’vecometotellyouatoncethatifyoukeeptoyourformerintentionswithregardtomysisterandifyouthinktoderiveanybenefitinthatdirectionfromwhathasbeendiscoveredoflate,iwillkillyoubeforeyougetmelockedup.youcanreckononmyword.youknowthaticankeepit.andinthesecondplaceifyouwanttotellmeanything—forikeepfancyingallthistimethatyouhavesomethingtotellme—makehasteandtellit,fortimeispreciousandverylikelyitwillsoonbetoolate.”
“whyinsuchhaste?”askedsvidrigailov,lookingathimcuriously.
“everyonehashisplans,”raskolnikovansweredgloomilyandimpatiently.
“youurgedmeyourselftofranknessjustnow,andatthefirstquestionyourefusetoanswer,”svidrigailovobservedwithasmile.“youkeepfancyingthatihaveaimsofmyownandsoyoulookatmewithsuspicion.ofcourseit’sperfectlynaturalinyourposition.butthoughishouldliketobefriendswithyou,ishan’ttroublemyselftoconvinceyouofthecontrary.thegameisn’tworththecandleandiwasn’tintendingtotalktoyouaboutanythingspecial.”
“whatdidyouwantme,for,then?itwasyouwhocamehangingaboutme.”
“why,simplyasaninterestingsubjectforobservation.ilikedthefantasticnatureofyourposition—that’swhatitwas!besidesyouarethebrotherofapersonwhogreatlyinterestedme,andfromthatpersonihadinthepastheardaverygreatdealaboutyou,fromwhichigatheredthatyouhadagreatinfluenceoverher;isn’tthatenough?ha-ha-ha!stillimustadmitthatyourquestionisrathercomplex,andisdifficultformetoanswer.here,you,forinstance,havecometomenotonlyforadefiniteobject,butforthesakeofhearingsomethingnew.isn’tthatso?isn’tthatso?”persistedsvidrigailovwithaslysmile.“well,can’tyoufancythenthati,too,onmywayhereinthetrainwasreckoningonyou,onyourtellingmesomethingnew,andonmymakingsomeprofitoutofyou!youseewhatrichmenweare!”
“whatprofitcouldyoumake?”
“howcanitellyou?howdoiknow?youseeinwhatatavernispendallmytimeandit’smyenjoyment,that’stosayit’snogreatenjoyment,butonemustsitsomewhere;thatpoorkatianow—yousawher?…ifonlyihadbeenagluttonnow,aclubgourmand,butyouseeicaneatthis.”
hepointedtoalittletableinthecornerwheretheremnantsofaterrible-lookingbeef-steakandpotatoeslayonatindish.
“haveyoudined,bytheway?i’vehadsomethingandwantnothingmore.idon’tdrink,forinstance,atall.exceptforchampagneinevertouchanything,andnotmorethanaglassofthatalltheevening,andeventhatisenoughtomakemyheadache.iordereditjustnowtowindmyselfup,foriamjustgoingoffsomewhereandyouseemeinapeculiarstateofmind.thatwaswhyihidmyselfjustnowlikeaschoolboy,foriwasafraidyouwouldhinderme.butibelieve,”hepulledouthiswatch,“icanspendanhourwithyou.it’shalf-pastfournow.ifonlyi’dbeensomething,alandowner,afather,acavalryofficer,aphotographer,ajournalist…iamnothing,nospecialty,andsometimesiampositivelybored.ireallythoughtyouwouldtellmesomethingnew.”
“butwhatareyou,andwhyhaveyoucomehere?”
“whatami?youknow,agentleman,iservedfortwoyearsinthecavalry,theniknockedabouthereinpetersburg,thenimarriedmarfapetrovnaandlivedinthecountry.thereyouhavemybiography!”
“youareagambler,ibelieve?”
“no,apoorsortofgambler.acard-sharper—notagambler.”
“youhavebeenacard-sharperthen?”