第164章

第164章onthecanalbanknearthebridgeandnottwohousesawayfromtheonewheresonialodged,therewasacrowdofpeople,consistingprincipallyofgutterchildren.thehoarsebrokenvoiceofkaterinaivanovnacouldbeheardfromthebridge,anditcertainlywasastrangespectaclelikelytoattractastreetcrowd.katerinaivanovnainherolddresswiththegreenshawl,wearingatornstrawhat,crushedinahideouswayononeside,wasreallyfrantic.shewasexhaustedandbreathless.herwastedconsumptivefacelookedmoresufferingthanever,andindeedoutofdoorsinthesunshineaconsumptivealwayslooksworsethanathome.butherexcitementdidnotflag,andeverymomentherirritationgrewmoreintense.sherushedatthechildren,shoutedatthem,coaxedthem,toldthembeforethecrowdhowtodanceandwhattosing,beganexplainingtothemwhyitwasnecessary,anddriventodesperationbytheirnotunderstanding,beatthem.…thenshewouldmakearushatthecrowd;ifshenoticedanydecentlydressedpersonstoppingtolook,sheimmediatelyappealedtohimtoseewhatthesechildren“fromagenteel,onemaysayaristocratic,house”hadbeenbroughtto.ifsheheardlaughterorjeeringinthecrowd,shewouldrushatonceatthescoffersandbeginsquabblingwiththem.somepeoplelaughed,othersshooktheirheads,buteveryonefeltcuriousatthesightofthemadwomanwiththefrightenedchildren.thefrying-panofwhichlebeziatnikovhadspokenwasnotthere,atleastraskolnikovdidnotseeit.butinsteadofrappingonthepan,katerinaivanovnabeganclappingherwastedhands,whenshemadelidaandkolyadanceandpolenkasing.shetoojoinedinthesinging,butbrokedownatthesecondnotewithafearfulcough,whichmadehercurseindespairandevenshedtears.whatmadehermostfuriouswastheweepingandterrorofkolyaandlida.someefforthadbeenmadetodressthechildrenupasstreetsingersaredressed.theboyhadonaturbanmadeofsomethingredandwhitetolooklikeaturk.therehadbeennocostumeforlida;shesimplyhadaredknittedcap,orratheranightcapthathadbelongedtomarmeladov,decoratedwithabrokenpieceofwhiteostrichfeather,whichhadbeenkaterinaivanovna’sgrandmother’sandhadbeenpreservedasafamilypossession.polenkawasinhereverydaydress;shelookedintimidperplexityathermother,andkeptatherside,hidinghertears.shedimlyrealisedhermother’scondition,andlookeduneasilyabouther.shewasterriblyfrightenedofthestreetandthecrowd.soniafollowedkaterinaivanovna,weepingandbeseechinghertoreturnhome,butkaterinaivanovnawasnottobepersuaded.

“leaveoff,sonia,leaveoff,”sheshouted,speakingfast,pantingandcoughing.“youdon’tknowwhatyouask;youarelikeachild!i’vetoldyoubeforethatiamnotcomingbacktothatdrunkengerman.leteveryone,letallpetersburgseethechildreninginthestreets,thoughtheirfatherwasanhonourablemanwhoservedallhislifeintruthandfidelity,andonemaysaydiedintheservice.”(katerinaivanovnahadbynowinventedthisfantasticstoryandthoroughlybelievedit.)“letthatwretchofageneralseeit!andyouaresilly,sonia:whathavewetoeat?tellmethat.wehaveworriedyouenough,iwon’tgoonso!ah,rodionromanovitch,isthatyou?”shecried,seeingraskolnikovandrushinguptohim.“explaintothissillygirl,please,thatnothingbettercouldbedone!evenorgan-grindersearntheirliving,andeveryonewillseeatoncethatwearedifferent,thatweareanhonourableandbereavedfamilyreducedtoary.andthatgeneralwilllosehispost,you’llsee!weshallperformunderhiswindowseveryday,andifthetsardrivesby,i’llfallonmyknees,putthechildrenbeforeme,showthemtohim,andsay‘defendusfather.’heisthefatherofthefatherless,heismerciful,he’llprotectus,you’llsee,andthatwretchofageneral.…lida,tenezvousdroite!kolya,you’lldanceagain.whyareyouwhimpering?whimperingagain!whatareyouafraidof,stupid?goodness,whatamitodowiththem,rodionromanovitch?ifyouonlyknewhowstupidtheyare!what’sonetodowithsuchchildren?”

andshe,almostcryingherself—whichdidnotstopheruninterrupted,rapidflowoftalk—pointedtothecryingchildren.raskolnikovtriedtopersuadehertogohome,andevensaid,hopingtoworkonhervanity,thatitwasunseemlyforhertobewanderingaboutthestreetslikeanorgan-grinder,asshewasintendingtobecometheprincipalofaboarding-school.