第130章

第130章“yetthatisthecase,withsometypesespecially,formenaresodifferent.yousay‘evidence’.well,theremaybeevidence.butevidence,youknow,cangenerallybetakentwoways.iamanexamininglawyerandaweakman,iconfessit.ishouldliketomakeaproof,sotosay,mathematicallyclear.ishouldliketomakeachainofevidencesuchastwicetwoarefour,itoughttobeadirect,irrefutableproof!andifishuthimuptoosoon—eventhoughimightbeconvincedhewastheman,ishouldverylikelybedeprivingmyselfofthemeansofgettingfurtherevidenceagainsthim.andhow?bygivinghim,sotospeak,adefiniteposition,ishallputhimoutofsuspenseandsethismindatrest,sothathewillretreatintohisshell.theysaythatatsevastopol,soonafteralma,thecleverpeoplewereinaterriblefrightthattheenemywouldattackopenlyandtakesevastopolatonce.butwhentheysawthattheenemypreferredaregularsiege,theyweredelighted,iamtoldandreassured,forthethingwoulddragonfortwomonthsatleast.you’relaughing,youdon’tbelievemeagain?ofcourse,you’reright,too.you’reright,you’reright.thesearespecialcases,iadmit.butyoumustobservethis,mydearrodionromanovitch,thegeneralcase,thecaseforwhichalllegalformsandrulesareintended,forwhichtheyarecalculatedandlaiddowninbooks,doesnotexistatall,forthereasonthateverycase,everycrime,forinstance,sosoonasitactuallyoccurs,atoncebecomesathoroughlyspecialcaseandsometimesacaseunlikeanythat’sgonebefore.verycomiccasesofthatsortsometimesoccur.ifileaveonemanquitealone,ifidon’ttouchhimanddon’tworryhim,butlethimknoworatleastsuspecteverymomentthatiknowallaboutitandamwatchinghimdayandnight,andifheisincontinualsuspicionandterror,he’llbeboundtolosehishead.he’llcomeofhimself,ormaybedosomethingwhichwillmakeitasplainastwicetwoarefour—it’sdelightful.itmaybesowithasimplepeasant,butwithoneofoursort,anintelligentmancultivatedonacertainside,it’sadeadcertainty.for,mydearfellow,it’saveryimportantmattertoknowonwhatsideamaniscultivated.andthentherearenerves,therearenerves,youhaveoverlookedthem!why,theyareallsick,nervousandirritable!…andthenhowtheyallsufferfromspleen!thatiassureyouisaregulargold-mineforus.andit’snoanxietytome,hisrunningaboutthetownfree!lethim,lethimwalkaboutforabit!iknowwellenoughthati’vecaughthimandthathewon’tescapeme.wherecouldheescapeto,he-he?abroad,perhaps?apolewillescapeabroad,butnothere,especiallyasiamwatchingandhavetakenmeasures.willheescapeintothedepthsofthecountryperhaps?butyouknow,peasantslivethere,realruderussianpeasants.amoderncultivatedmanwouldpreferprisontolivingwithsuchstrangersasourpeasants.he-he!butthat’sallnonsense,andonthesurface.it’snotmerelythathehasnowheretorunto,heispsychologicallyunabletoescapeme,he-he!whatanexpression!throughalawofnaturehecan’tescapemeifhehadanywheretogo.haveyouseenabutterflyroundacandle?that’showhewillkeepcirclingandcirclingroundme.freedomwillloseitsattractions.he’llbegintobrood,he’llweaveatangleroundhimself,he’llworryhimselftodeath!what’smorehewillprovidemewithamathematicalproof—ifionlygivehimlongenoughinterval.…andhe’llkeepcirclingroundme,gettingnearerandnearerandthen—flop!he’llflystraightintomymouthandi’llswallowhim,andthatwillbeveryamusing,he-he-he!youdon’tbelieveme?”

raskolnikovmadenoreply;hesatpaleandmotionless,stillgazingwiththesameintensityintoporfiry’sface.

“it’salesson,”hethought,turningcold.“thisisbeyondthecatplayingwithamouse,likeyesterday.hecan’tbeshowingoffhispowerwithnomotive…promptingme;heisfartoocleverforthat…hemusthaveanotherobject.whatisit?it’sallnonsense,myfriend,youarepretending,toscareme!you’venoproofsandthemanisawhadnorealexistence.yousimplywanttomakemelosemyhead,toworkmeupbeforehandandsotocrushme.butyouarewrong,youwon’tdoit!butwhygivemesuchahint?ishereckoningonmyshatterednerves?no,myfriend,youarewrong,youwon’tdoiteventhoughyouhavesometrapforme…letusseewhatyouhaveinstoreforme.”

andhebracedhimselftofaceaterribleandunknownordeal.attimeshelongedtofallonporfiryandstranglehim.thisangerwaswhathedreadedfromthebeginning.hefeltthathisparchedlipswerefleckedwithfoam,hisheartwasthrobbing.buthewasstilldeterminednottospeaktilltherightmoment.herealisedthatthiswasthebestpolicyinhisposition,becauseinsteadofsayingtoomuchhewouldbeirritatinghisenemybyhissilenceandprovokinghimintospeakingtoofreely.anyhow,thiswaswhathehopedfor.