第133章

第133章“whathasthattodowithyou?howdoyouknowit?whatconcernisitofyours?youarekeepingwatchonmeandwanttoletmeknowit?”

“goodheavens!why,ilearntitallfromyouyourself!youdon’tnoticethatinyourexcitementyoutellmeandotherseverything.fromrazumihin,too,ilearntanumberofinterestingdetailsyesterday.no,youinterruptedme,butimusttellyouthat,forallyourwit,yoursuspiciousnessmakesyoulosethecommon-senseviewofthings.toreturntobell-ringing,forinstance.i,anexamininglawyer,havebetrayedapreciousthinglikethat,arealfact(foritisafactworthhaving),andyouseenothinginit!why,ifihadtheslightestsuspicionofyou,shouldihaveactedlikethat?no,ishouldfirsthavedisarmedyoursuspicionsandnotletyouseeiknewofthatfact,shouldhavedivertedyourattentionandsuddenlyhavedealtyouaknock-downblow(yourexpression)saying:‘andwhatwereyoudoing,sir,pray,attenornearlyelevenatthemurderedwoman’sflatandwhydidyouringthebellandwhydidyouaskaboutblood?andwhydidyouinvitetheporterstogowithyoutothepolicestation,tothelieutenant?’that’showioughttohaveactedifihadagrainofsuspicionofyou.ioughttohavetakenyourevidenceindueform,searchedyourlodgingandperhapshavearrestedyou,too…soihavenosuspicionofyou,sinceihavenotdonethat!butyoucan’tlookatitnormallyandyouseenothing,isayagain.”

raskolnikovstartedsothatporfirypetrovitchcouldnotfailtoperceiveit.

“youarelyingallthewhile,”hecried,“idon’tknowyourobject,butyouarelying.youdidnotspeaklikethatjustnowandicannotbemistaken!”

“iamlying?”porfiryrepeated,apparentlyincensed,butpreservingagood-humouredandironicalface,asthoughhewerenotintheleastconcernedatraskolnikov’sopinionofhim.“iamlying…buthowdiditreatyoujustnow,i,theexamininglawyer?promptingyouandgivingyoueverymeansforyourdefence;illness,isaid,delirium,injury,melancholyandthepoliceofficersandalltherestofit?ah!he-he-he!though,indeed,allthosepsychologicalmeansofdefencearenotveryreliableandcutbothways:illness,delirium,idon’tremember—that’sallright,butwhy,mygoodsir,inyourillnessandinyourdeliriumwereyouhauntedbyjustthosedelusionsandnotbyanyothers?theremayhavebeenothers,eh?he-he-he!”

raskolnikovlookedhaughtilyandcontemptuouslyathim.

“briefly,”hesaidloudlyandimperiously,risingtohisfeetandinsodoingpushingporfirybackalittle,“briefly,iwanttoknow,doyouacknowledgemeperfectlyfreefromsuspicionornot?tellme,porfirypetrovitch,tellmeonceforallandmakehaste!”

“whatabusinessi’mhavingwithyou!”criedporfirywithaperfectlygood-humoured,slyandcomposedface.“andwhydoyouwanttoknow,whydoyouwanttoknowsomuch,sincetheyhaven’tbeguntoworryyou?why,youarelikeachildaskingformatches!andwhyareyousouneasy?whydoyouforceyourselfuponus,eh?he-he-he!”

“irepeat,”raskolnikovcriedfuriously,“thatican’tputupwithit!”

“withwhat?uncertainty?”interruptedporfiry.

“don’tjeeratme!iwon’thaveit!itellyouiwon’thaveit.ican’tandiwon’t,doyouhear,doyouhear?”heshouted,bringinghisfistdownonthetableagain.

“hush!hush!they’lloverhear!iwarnyouseriously,takecareofyourself.iamnotjoking,”porfirywhispered,butthistimetherewasnotthelookofoldwomanishgoodnatureandalarminhisface.nowhewasperemptory,stern,frowningandforoncelayingasideallmystification.

butthiswasonlyforaninstant.raskolnikov,bewildered,suddenlyfellintoactualfrenzy,but,strangetosay,heagainobeyedthecommandtospeakquietly,thoughhewasinaperfectparoxysmoffury.

“iwillnotallowmyselftobetortured,”hewhispered,instantlyrecognisingwithhatredthathecouldnothelpobeyingthecommandanddriventoevengreaterfurybythethought.“arrestme,searchme,butkindlyactindueformanddon’tplaywithme!don’tdare!”

“don’tworryabouttheform,”porfiryinterruptedwiththesameslysmile,asitwere,gloatingwithenjoymentoverraskolnikov.“iinvitedyoutoseemequiteinafriendlyway.”

“idon’twantyourfriendshipandispitonit!doyouhear?and,here,itakemycapandgo.whatwillyousaynowifyoumeantoarrestme?”

hetookuphiscapandwenttothedoor.

“andwon’tyouseemylittlesurprise?”chuckledporfiry,againtakinghimbythearmandstoppinghimatthedoor.

heseemedtobecomemoreplayfulandgood-humouredwhichmaddenedraskolnikov.

“whatsurprise?”heasked,standingstillandlookingatporfiryinalarm.

“mylittlesurprise,it’ssittingtherebehindthedoor,he-he-he!”(hepointedtothelockeddoor.)“ilockedhiminthatheshouldnotescape.”

“whatisit?where?what?…”

raskolnikovwalkedtothedoorandwouldhaveopenedit,butitwaslocked.

“it’slocked,hereisthekey!”

andhebroughtakeyoutofhispocket.

“youarelying,”roaredraskolnikovwithoutrestraint,“youlie,youdamnedpunchinello!”andherushedatporfirywhoretreatedtotheotherdoor,notatallalarmed.

“iunderstanditall!youarelyingandmockingsothatimaybetraymyselftoyou…”

“why,youcouldnotbetrayyourselfanyfurther,mydearrodionromanovitch.youareinapassion.don’tshout,ishallcalltheclerks.”

“youarelying!calltheclerks!youknewiwasillandtriedtoworkmeintoafrenzytomakemebetraymyself,thatwasyourobject!produceyourfacts!iunderstanditall.you’venoevidence,youhaveonlywretchedrubbishlysuspicionslikezametov’s!youknewmycharacter,youwantedtodrivemetofuryandthentoknockmedownwithpriestsanddeputies.…areyouwaitingforthem?eh!whatareyouwaitingfor?wherearethey?producethem?”