第144章

第144章itwouldbedifficulttoexplainexactlywhatcouldhaveoriginatedtheideaofthatsenselessdinnerinkaterinaivanovna’sdisorderedbrain.nearlytenofthetwentyroubles,givenbyraskolnikovformarmeladov’sfuneral,werewasteduponit.possiblykaterinaivanovnafeltobligedtohonourthememoryofthedeceased“suitably,”thatallthelodgers,andstillmoreamaliaivanovna,mightknow“thathewasinnowaytheirinferior,andperhapsverymuchtheirsuperior,”andthatnoonehadtheright“toturnuphisnoseathim.”perhapsthechiefelementwasthatpeculiar“poorman’spride,”whichcompelsmanypoorpeopletospendtheirlastsavingsonsometraditionalsocialceremony,simplyinordertodo“likeotherpeople,”andnotto“belookeddownupon.”itisveryprobable,too,thatkaterinaivanovnalongedonthisoccasion,atthemomentwhensheseemedtobeabandonedbyeveryone,toshowthose“wretchedcontemptiblelodgers”thatsheknew“howtodothings,howtoentertain”andthatshehadbeenbroughtup“inagenteel,shemightalmostsayaristocraticcolonel’sfamily”andhadnotbeenmeantforsweepingfloorsandwashingthechildren’sragsatnight.eventhepoorestandmostbroken-spiritedpeoplearesometimesliabletotheseparoxysmsofprideandvanitywhichtaketheformofanirresistiblenervouscraving.andkaterinaivanovnawasnotbroken-spirited;shemighthavebeenkilledbycircumstance,butherspiritcouldnothavebeenbroken,thatis,shecouldnothavebeenintimidated,herwillcouldnotbecrushed.moreoversoniahadsaidwithgoodreasonthathermindwasunhinged.shecouldnotbesaidtobeinsane,butforayearpastshehadbeensoharassedthathermindmightwellbeoverstrained.thelaterstagesofconsumptionareapt,doctorstellus,toaffecttheintellect.

therewasnogreatvarietyofwines,norwastheremadeira;butwinetherewas.therewasvodka,rumandlisbonwine,allofthepoorestqualitybutinsufficientquantity.besidesthetraditionalriceandhoney,therewerethreeorfourdishes,oneofwhichconsistedofpancakes,allpreparedinamaliaivanovna’skitchen.twosamovarswereboiling,thatteaandpunchmightbeofferedafterdinner.katerinaivanovnahadherselfseentopurchasingtheprovisions,withthehelpofoneofthelodgers,anunfortunatelittlepolewhohadsomehowbeenstrandedatmadamelippevechsel’s.hepromptlyputhimselfatkaterinaivanovna’sdisposalandhadbeenallthatmorningandallthedaybeforerunningaboutasfastashislegscouldcarryhim,andveryanxiousthateveryoneshouldbeawareofit.foreverytrifleherantokaterinaivanovna,evenhuntingheroutatthebazaar,ateveryinstantcalledher“pani.”shewasheartilysickofhimbeforetheend,thoughshehaddeclaredatfirstthatshecouldnothavegotonwithoutthis“serviceableandmagnanimousman.”itwasoneofkaterinaivanovna’scharacteristicstopainteveryoneshemetinthemostglowingcolours.herpraisesweresoeratedassometimestobeembarrassing;shewouldinventvariouscircumstancestothecreditofhernewacquaintanceandquitegenuinelybelieveintheirreality.thenallofasuddenshewouldbedisillusionedandwouldrudelyandcontemptuouslyrepulsethepersonshehadonlyafewhoursbeforebeenliterallyadoring.shewasnaturallyofagay,livelyandpeace-lovingdisposition,butfromcontinualfailuresandmisfortunesshehadcometodesiresokeenlythatallshouldliveinpeaceandjoyandshouldnotdaretobreakthepeace,thattheslightestjar,thesmallestdisasterreducedheralmosttofrenzy,andshewouldpassinaninstantfromthebrightesthopesandfanciestocursingherfateandraving,andknockingherheadagainstthewall.

amaliaivanovna,too,suddenlyacquiredextraordinaryimportanceinkaterinaivanovna’seyesandwastreatedbyherwithextraordinaryrespect,probablyonlybecauseamaliaivanovnahadthrownherselfheartandsoulintothepreparations.shehadundertakentolaythetable,toprovidethelinen,crockery,etc.,andtocookthedishesinherkitchen,andkaterinaivanovnahadleftitallinherhandsandgoneherselftothecemetery.everythinghadbeenwelldone.eventhetable-clothwasnearlyclean;thecrockery,knives,forksandglasseswere,ofcourse,ofallshapesandpatterns,lentbydifferentlodgers,butthetablewasproperlylaidatthetimefixed,andamaliaivanovna,feelingshehaddoneherworkwell,hadputonablacksilkdressandacapwithnewmourningribbonsandmetthereturningpartywithsomepride.thispride,thoughjustifiable,displeasedkaterinaivanovnaforsomereason:“asthoughthetablecouldnothavebeenlaidexceptbyamaliaivanovna!”shedislikedthecapwithnewribbons,too.“couldshebestuckup,thestupidgerman,becauseshewasmistressofthehouse,andhadconsentedasafavourtohelpherpoorlodgers!asafavour!fancythat!katerinaivanovna’sfatherwhohadbeenacolonelandalmostagovernorhadsometimeshadthetablesetforfortypersons,andthenanyonelikeamaliaivanovna,orratherludwigovna,wouldnothavebeenallowedintothekitchen.”