第62章
第62章“itellyouwhat,”criedraskolnikov,raisinghimselfonhispillowandfixinghispiercing,glitteringeyesuponhim,“itellyouwhat.”
“what?”luzhinstoodstill,waitingwithadefiantandoffendedface.silencelastedforsomeseconds.
“why,ifeveragain…youdaretomentionasingleword…aboutmymother…ishallsendyouflyingdownstairs!”
“what’sthematterwithyou?”criedrazumihin.
“sothat’showitis?”luzhinturnedpaleandbithislip.“letmetellyou,sir,”hebegandeliberately,doinghisutmosttorestrainhimselfbutbreathinghard,“atthefirstmomentisawyouyouwereill-disposedtome,butiremainedhereonpurposetofindoutmore.icouldforgiveagreatdealinasickmanandaconnection,butyou…neverafterthis…”
“iamnotill,”criedraskolnikov.
“somuchtheworse…”
“gotohell!”
butluzhinwasalreadyleavingwithoutfinishinghisspeech,squeezingbetweenthetableandthechair;razumihingotupthistimetolethimpass.withoutglancingatanyone,andnotevennoddingtozossimov,whohadforsometimebeenmakingsignstohimtoletthesickmanalone,hewentout,liftinghishattothelevelofhisshoulderstoavoidcrushingitashestoopedtogooutofthedoor.andeventhecurveofhisspinewasexpressiveofthehorribleinsulthehadreceived.
“howcouldyou—howcouldyou!”razumihinsaid,shakinghisheadinperplexity.
“letmealone—letmealoneallofyou!”raskolnikovcriedinafrenzy.“willyoueverleaveofftormentingme?iamnotafraidofyou!iamnotafraidofanyone,anyonenow!getawayfromme!iwanttobealone,alone,alone!”
“comealong,”saidzossimov,noddingtorazumihin.
“butwecan’tleavehimlikethis!”
“comealong,”zossimovrepeatedinsistently,andhewentout.razumihinthoughtaminuteandrantoovertakehim.
“itmightbeworsenottoobeyhim,”saidzossimovonthestairs.“hemustn’tbeirritated.”
“what’sthematterwithhim?”
“ifonlyhecouldgetsomefavourableshock,that’swhatwoulddoit!atfirsthewasbetter.…youknowhehasgotsomethingonhismind!somefixedideaweighingonhim.…iamverymuchafraidso;hemusthave!”
“perhapsit’sthatgentleman,pyotrpetrovitch.fromhisconversationigatherheisgoingtomarryhissister,andthathehadreceivedaletteraboutitjustbeforehisillness.…”
“yes,confoundtheman!hemayhaveupsetthecasealtogether.buthaveyounoticed,hetakesnointerestinanything,hedoesnotrespondtoanythingexceptonepointonwhichheseemsexcited—that’sthemurder?”
“yes,yes,”razumihinagreed,“inoticedthat,too.heisinterested,frightened.itgavehimashockonthedayhewasillinthepoliceoffice;hefainted.”
“tellmemoreaboutthatthiseveningandi’lltellyousomethingafterwards.heinterestsmeverymuch!inhalfanhouri’llgoandseehimagain.…there’llbenoinflammationthough.”
“thanks!andi’llwaitwithpashenkameantimeandwillkeepwatchonhimthroughnastasya.…”
raskolnikov,leftalone,lookedwithimpatienceandmiseryatnastasya,butshestilllingered.
“won’tyouhavesometeanow?”sheasked.
“later!iamsleepy!leaveme.”
heturnedabruptlytothewall;nastasyawentout.
1theemancipationoftheserfsin1861ismeant.—translator’snote.