第22章

第22章“hehascarriedoffmytwentycopecks,”raskolnikovmurmuredangrilywhenhewasleftalone.“well,lethimtakeasmuchfromtheotherfellowtoallowhimtohavethegirlandsoletitend.andwhydidiwanttointerfere?isitformetohelp?haveianyrighttohelp?letthemdevoureachotheralive—whatistome?howdididaretogivehimtwentycopecks?weretheymine?”

inspiteofthosestrangewordshefeltverywretched.hesatdownonthedesertedseat.histhoughtsstrayedaimlessly.…hefoundithardtofixhismindonanythingatthatmoment.helongedtoforgethimselfaltogether,toforgeteverything,andthentowakeupandbeginlifeanew.…

“poorgirl!”hesaid,lookingattheemptycornerwhereshehadsat—“shewillcometoherselfandweep,andthenhermotherwillfindout.…shewillgiveherabeating,ahorrible,shamefulbeatingandthenmaybe,turnheroutofdoors.…andevenifshedoesnot,thedaryafrantsovnaswillgetwindofit,andthegirlwillsoonbeslippingoutontheslyhereandthere.thentherewillbethehospitaldirectly(that’salwaystheluckofthosegirlswithrespectablemothers,whogowrongonthesly)andthen…againthehospital…drink…thetaverns…andmorehospital,intwoorthreeyears—awreck,andherlifeoverateighteenornineteen.…havenotiseencaseslikethat?andhowhavetheybeenbroughttoit?why,they’veallcometoitlikethat.ugh!butwhatdoesitmatter?that’sasitshouldbe,theytellus.acertainpercentage,theytellus,musteveryyeargo…thatway…tothedevil,isuppose,sothattherestmayremainchaste,andnotbeinterferedwith.apercentage!whatsplendidwordstheyhave;theyaresoscientific,soconsolatory.…onceyou’vesaid‘percentage’there’snothingmoretoworryabout.ifwehadanyotherword…maybewemightfeelmoreuneasy.…butwhatifdouniawereoneofthepercentage!ofanotheroneifnotthatone?

“butwhereamigoing?”hethoughtsuddenly.“strange,icameoutforsomething.assoonasihadreadthelettericameout.…iwasgoingtovassilyevskyostrov,torazumihin.that’swhatitwas…nowiremember.whatfor,though?andwhatputtheideaofgoingtorazumihinintomyheadjustnow?that’scurious.”

hewonderedathimself.razumihinwasoneofhisoldcomradesattheuniversity.itwasremarkablethatraskolnikovhadhardlyanyfriendsattheuniversity;hekeptalooffromeveryone,wenttoseenoone,anddidnotwelcomeanyonewhocametoseehim,andindeedeveryonesoongavehimup.hetooknopartinthestudents’gatherings,amusementsorconversations.heworkedwithgreatintensitywithoutsparinghimself,andhewasrespectedforthis,butnoonelikedhim.hewasverypoor,andtherewasasortofhaughtyprideandreserveabouthim,asthoughhewerekeepingsomethingtohimself.heseemedtosomeofhiscomradestolookdownuponthemallaschildren,asthoughheweresuperiorindevelopment,knowledgeandconvictions,asthoughtheirbeliefsandinterestswerebeneathhim.

withrazumihinhehadgoton,or,atleast,hewasmoreunreservedandcommunicativewithhim.indeeditwasimpossibletobeonanyothertermswithrazumihin.hewasanexceptionallygood-humouredandcandidyouth,good-naturedtothepointofsimplicity,thoughbothdepthanddignitylayconcealedunderthatsimplicity.thebetterofhiscomradesunderstoodthis,andallwerefondofhim.hewasextremelyintelligent,thoughhewascertainlyratherasimpletonattimes.hewasofstrikingappearance—tall,thin,blackhairedandalwaysbadlyshaved.hewassometimesuproariousandwasreputedtobeofgreatphysicalstrength.onenight,whenoutinafestivecompany,hehadwithoneblowlaidagiganticpolicemanonhisback.therewasnolimittohisdrinkingpowers,buthecouldabstainfromdrinkaltogether;hesometimeswenttoofarinhispranks;buthecoulddowithoutpranksaltogether.anotherthingstrikingaboutrazumihin,nofailuredistressedhim,anditseemedasthoughnounfavourablecircumstancescouldcrushhim.hecouldlodgeanywhere,andbeartheextremesofcoldandhunger.hewasverypoor,andkepthimselfentirelyonwhathecouldearnbyworkofonesortoranother.heknewofnoendofresourcesbywhichtoearnmoney.hespentonewholewinterwithoutlightinghisstove,andusedtodeclarethathelikeditbetter,becauseonesleptmoresoundlyinthecold.forthepresenthe,too,hadbeenobligedtogiveuptheuniversity,butitwasonlyforatime,andhewasworkingwithallhismighttosaveenoughtoreturntohisstudiesagain.raskolnikovhadnotbeentoseehimforthelastfourmonths,andrazumihindidnotevenknowhisaddress.abouttwomonthsbefore,theyhadmetinthestreet,butraskolnikovhadturnedawayandevencrossedtotheothersidethathemightnotbeobserved.andthoughrazumihinnoticedhim,hepassedhimby,ashedidnotwanttoannoyhim.