第22章过有意义的人生(6)

第22章过有意义的人生(6)

亲人们总是将他们的问题在即将抉择的那刻提出，然后等待我给出建议。我不喜欢在这样的情况回答问题，假如说他们愈加僵化，那就等于说自己大无可用之处了。我尽可能地作出回答，并祈祷我的建议能对他们有所帮助。然而，我又怎能知道所有的事情？这和给女儿建议不同，给父母建议需要设身处地地思考。他们向我咨询，就是对我的信任，正如我一直相信他们那样。我是一名高中老师，我的学生将会考入大学，或参军，或工作。每天，都会有学生问我如何规划未来之类的问题，而不是咨询如何学好功课。很多人还未意识到，高中毕业是人生的关键转折点之一。的确如此，这些年轻的孩子正在离开一个占据他们生命四分之三的时代。

因此，在他们离开校园的那一刻，我告诉他们，什么行业是朝阳行业，他们要服什么样的兵役，以便实现自己的梦想。有时，我只告诉这些年轻的孩子，生活是美好的，他们正幸运地处于人生最美好的阶段，即将长大成人，应该说是很幸运的。每次他们离开时，我都祈祷自己给予他们好的建议。我知道，我尽力了。

偶尔，素不相识的人也向我征求建议。学生家长常会问我，怎样做才会使孩子前途光明。有时也会问，怎样才能让孩子听他们的话或者相信他们。我想，他们之所以问我，是因为他们确信我知道答案，或者他们看到我的头发白了，胡子也白了，就相信我这个岁数足以解决这些问题。

韦氏关于“建议”一词的定义中最主要的问题是——没考虑建议者。给出建议的人理解这个问题吗？能帮忙解决吗？我给过女儿、父母、学生和陌生人正确的答案吗？

我觉得我该打电话给女儿了，向她征求些建议。

每个人都会有需要建议的时候。当他人出于信任向你请教时，要认真地帮助他，这种信任多么美好。当你需要帮助时，不要担心，一定有爱你的人随时准备替你分忧。

1.whenmydaughterwassmallilookedforward_________givingheradvice.infact，isincerelybelievethatshe_________enjoyedit.forthemostimportantthingadadcandoisgethischildreadyforlife._________thatieverthoughtiwasreadybutatleastihavebeenabletosurvivemyyears，sofar.

2.infact，iamahighschool_________whoworkswithyoungadultswhoareabouttoembarkoncareersthatincludecollege，themilitary，or_________.everydayiamaskedquestionsconcerning_________theyshouldorganizefortheirfutures，awayfromalifethatcenteredontheirpublicschool.

1.女儿小的时候，我渴望能给她建议。

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2.让孩子对生活有所准备，是父亲最重要的事情。

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3.偶尔，素不相识的人也向我征求建议。

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1.itwasasthoughourseparationnecessitatedthatshewouldonceagainneed，andseekout，myadvice.

seekout：搜出；找出；想获得

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2.inotherwords，itisalittlequieterthanawhisper.

inotherwords：换句话说，也就是说，换言之

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生活态度最重要

one’slifeattitudeisimportant

拉塞尔？康威/russellconwell

iwasattendingaseminarinsydneyinaprilandpickedupalecturenote.initwasareflectionon“attitude”.

letmequotetheanonymouswriter：

“thelongerilive，themoreirealizetheimpactofattitudeonlife.attitude，tome，ismoreimportantthanfact.itismoreimportantthanthepast，thaneducation，thanmoney，thancircumstances，thanfailures，thanesses，thanwhatotherpeoplethinkorsayordo.itismoreimportantthanappearance，intelligenceorskill.itwillmakeorbreakacompany，achurchorahome.

“theremarkablethingisthatwehaveachoiceeverydayregardingtheattitudewewillembraceforthatday.wecannotchangethefactthatpeoplewillactinacertainway.wecannotchangetheinevitable.theonlythingwecandoistoplayontheonestringwehave，andthatisourattitude.

“iamconvincedthatlifeis10percentwhathappenstomeand90percenthowireacttoit.andsoitiswithyou.youareinchargeofyourattitude.”

thismeansthatnomatterwhathappenstoyou，itishowyoureactorrespondtoitthatisimportant.

youcan’tcontrolorinfluencecertaineventsinlife—earthquake，sabotage，terroristbombings，beingstruckbylightning，afreaktrafficaccidentandsoon.butyoucancontrolhowyouthinkandfeelaboutsuchincidents，evenwhenyouaretheunfortunatevictimofanaccident.

youcanchoosetomoanandgroanaboutyourmisfortune，aboutwhatyouhavelostphysicallyorfinancially.oryoucanchoosetocountyourblessingsthatyouarestillalive，thatyouhavemostofyourphysicalormentalfaculties.aprolongednegativeattitudewouldmakeyoumiserableandregressivewhereasachangetoapositiveattitudewouldspuryoutothinkofpossibilities.

youcouldbetauntedordiscriminatedagainstifyoulostaleg，armoraneye.youcan’thelpsomeinsensitivepeopledoingsuchthings.ifyoufretoverwhatissaidandwhathasbeendeprivedofyou，doesitmakeyouanyhappier，determined，perseveringorresourceful？

therightattitudetotakeisnottoletinsults，sarcasm，rudeness，ridiculeormockerybotheryou.whyrespondnegativelytosuchbehavioursofotherpeople？itdoesn’tpaytostrikebackcontemptuouslyatthem.ifyoudo，youareshowingthatyouareemotionallyweaker.

showthatyouareemotionallystronger，thatyoudonothavetotradeinsultswithinsults，thatwhattheysayordodoesnotbotheryouatall.showthedignitythattheydonothave.

thepainisnotinwhattheinsensitivepeoplesayaboutyouordotobelittleyou.thepainisinhowyouinterpretandreacttosuchacts.

veryoften，wenegativelyover-reactto，or“read”toomuchinto，whatpeoplesayordo.it’sacaseofseeingwhatwewanttosee，regardinganissueasbigwhenitcouldreallybeinsignificant.

evenifpeopleinrealityaredownrightinhuman，youcanchoosetoignoretheirbehaviourornotviewitnegativelyatall.thatisrealselfmastery.

losingapartofthebodyisnottheendoflife.itmightbetheendofacareerthatyouweretrainedinandthebeginningofanewcareerbutagain，itmightnot.ifthefamousstephenhawkingcanspeakthroughacomputergadget，ifagolfercanstillplaywithametalarm，thenatrainerwholosesbothlegsorarmscanstillfindsomeotherwaystoteach.

whenyoulosehope，whenyoudespair，whenyoublamepeopleallthetime，whenyoudonotevenwanttotryandpersevere，thenyouchoosetomakelifemeaninglessforyourself.