CHAPTER37

nowrobertjordanlaywiththegirlandhewatchedtimepassingonhiswrist.itwentslowly,almostimperceptibly,foritwasasmallwatchandhecouldnotseethesecondhand.butashewatchedtheminutehandhefoundhecouldalmostcheckitsmotionwithhisconcentration.thegirl’sheadwasunderhischinandwhenhemovedhisheadtolookatthewatchhefeltthecroppedheadagainsthischeek,anditwasassoftbutasaliveandsilkilyrollingaswhenamarten’sfurrisesunderthecaressofyourhandwhenyouspreadthetrapjawsopenandliftthemartenclearand,holdingit,strokethefursmooth.histhroatswelledwhenhischeekmovedagainstmaria’shairandtherewasahollowachingfromhisthroatallthroughhimasheheldhisarmsaroundher;hisheaddropped,hiseyesclosetothewatchwherethelancepointed,luminoussplintermovedslowlyuptheleftfaceofthedial.hecouldseeitsmovementclearlyandsteadilynowandheheldmariaclosenowtoslowit.hedidnotwanttowakeherbuthecouldnotleaveheralonenowinthislasttimeandheputhislipsbehindherearandmovedthemupalongherneck,feelingthesmoothskinandthesofttouchofherhaironthem.hecouldseethehandmovingonthewatchandheheldhertighterandranthetipofhistonguealonghercheekandontothelobeofherearandalongthelovelyconvolutionstothesweet,firmrimatthetop,andhistonguewastrembling.hefeltthetremblingrunthroughallofthehollowachingandhesawthehandofthewatchnowmountinginsharpangletowardthetopwherethehourwas.nowwhileshestillsleptheturnedherheadandputhislipstohers.theylaythere,justtouchinglightlyagainstthesleep-firmmouthandheswungthemsoftlyacrossit,feelingthembrushlightly.heturnedhimselftowardherandhefelthershiveralongthelong,lightlovelybodyandthenshesighed,sleeping,andthenshe,stillsleeping,heldhimtooandthen,unsleeping,herlipswereagainsthisfirmandhardandpressingandhesaid,“butthepain.”andshesaid,“nay,thereisnopain.”

“rabbit.”

“nay,speaknot.”

“myrabbit.”

“speaknot.speaknot.”

thentheyweretogethersothatasthehandonthewatchmoved,unseennow,theyknewthatnothingcouldeverhappentotheonethatdidnothappentotheotherthatnootherthingcouldhappenmorethanthis;thatthiswasallandalways;thiswaswhathadbeenandnowandwhateverwastocome.this,thattheywerenottohave,theywerehaving.theywerehavingnowandbeforeandalwaysandnowandnowandnow.oh,now,now,now,theonlynow,andaboveallnow,andthereisnoothernowbutthounowandnowisthyprophet.nowandforevernow.comenow,now,forthereisnonowbutnow.yes,now.now,pleasenow,onlynow,notanythingelseonlythisnow,andwhereareyouandwhereamiandwhereistheotherone,andnotwhy,noteverwhy,onlythisnow;andonandalwayspleasethenalwaysnow,alwaysnow,fornowalwaysonenow;oneonlyone,thereisnootheronebutonenow,one,goingnow,risingnow,sailingnow,leavingnow,wheelingnow,soaringnow,awaynow,allthewaynow,allofallthewaynow;oneandoneisone,isone,isone,isone,isstillone,isstillone,isonedescendingly,isonesoftly,isonelongingly,isonekindly,isonehappily,isoneingoodness,isonetocherish,isonenowonearthwithelbowsagainstthecutandslept-onbranchesofthepinetreewiththesmellofthepineboughsandthenight;toearthconclusivelynow,andwiththemorningofthedaytocome.thenhesaid,fortheotherwasonlyinhisheadandhehadsaidnothing,“oh,maria,ilovetheeandithanktheeforthis.”

mariasaid,“donotspeak.itisbetterifwedonotspeak.”

“imusttelltheeforitisagreatthing.”

“nay.”

“rabbit——”

butsheheldhimtightandturnedherheadawayandheaskedsoftly,“isitpain,rabbit?”

“nay,”shesaid.“itisthatiamthankfultootohavebeenanothertimeinlagloria.”

thenafterwardstheylayquiet,sidebyside,alllengthofankle,thigh,hipandshouldertouching,robertjordannowwiththewatchwherehecouldseeitagainandmariasaid,“wehavehadmuchgoodfortune.”

“yes,”hesaid,“wearepeopleofmuchluck.”

“thereisnottimetosleep?”

“no,”hesaid,“itstartssoonnow.”

“thenifwemustriseletusgotogetsomethingtoeat.”

“allright.”

“thou.thouartnotworriedaboutanything?”

“no.”

“truly?”

“no.notnow.”

“butthouhastworriedbefore?”

“forawhile.”

“isitaughticanhelp?”

“nay,”hesaid.“youhavehelpedenough.”

“that?thatwasforme.”

“thatwasforusboth,”hesaid.“nooneistherealone.come,rabbit,letusdress.”

buthismind,thatwashisbestcompanion,wasthinkinglagloria.shesaidlagloria.ithasnothingtodowithglorynorlagloirethatthefrenchwriteandspeakabout.itisthethingthatisinthecantehondoandinthesaetas.itisingrecoandinsanjuandelacruz,ofcourse,andintheothers.iamnomystic,buttodenyitisasignorantasthoughyoudeniedthetelephoneorthattheearthrevolvesaroundthesunorthatthereareotherplanetsthanthis.

howlittleweknowofwhatthereistoknow.iwishthatiweregoingtolivealongtimeinsteadofgoingtodietodaybecauseihavelearnedmuchaboutlifeinthesefourdays;more,ithink,thaninalltheothertime.i’dliketobeanoldmanandtoreallyknow.iwonderifyoukeeponlearningorifthereisonlyacertainamounteachmancanunderstand.ithoughtiknewaboutsomanythingsthatiknownothingof.iwishtherewasmoretime.

“youtaughtmealot,guapa,”hesaidinenglish.

“whatdidyousay?”

“ihavelearnedmuchfromthee.”

“quéva,”shesaid,“itisthouwhoarteducated.”

educated,hethought.ihavetheverysmallestbeginningsofaneducation.theverysmallbeginnings.ifidieonthisdayitisawastebecauseiknowafewthingsnow.iwonderifyouonlylearnthemnowbecauseyouareoversensitizedbecauseoftheshortnessofthetime?thereisnosuchthingasashortnessoftime,though.youshouldhavesenseenoughtoknowthattoo.ihavebeenallmylifeinthesehillssinceihavebeenhere.anselmoismyoldestfriend.iknowhimbetterthaniknowcharles,thaniknowchub,thaniknowguy,thaniknowmike,andiknowthemwell.agustin,withhisvilemouth,ismybrother,andineverhadabrother.mariaismytrueloveandmywife.ineverhadatruelove.ineverhadawife.sheisalsomysister,andineverhadasister,andmydaughter,andineverwillhaveadaughter.ihatetoleaveathingthatissogood.hefinishedtyinghisrope-soledshoes.

“ifindlifeveryinteresting,”hesaidtomaria.shewassittingbesidehimontherobe,herhandsclaspedaroundherankles.someonemovedtheblanketasidefromtheentrancetothecaveandtheybothsawthelight.itwasnightstillandherewasnopromiseofmorningexceptthatashelookedupthroughthepineshesawhowlowthestarshadswung.themorningwouldbecomingfastnowinthismonth.

“roberto,”mariasaid.

“yes,guapa.”

“inthisoftodaywewillbetogether,willwenot?”

无一错一首一发一内一容一在一6一9一书一吧一看！

“afterthestart,yes.”

“notatthestart?”

“no.thouwiltbewiththehorses.”

“icannotbewiththee?”

“no.ihaveworkthatonlyicandoandiwouldworryaboutthee.”

“butyouwillcomefastwhenitisdone?”

“veryfast,”hesaidandgrinnedinthedark.“come,guapa,letusgoandeat.”

“andthyrobe?”

“rollitup,ifitpleasesthee.”

“itpleasesme,”shesaid.