CHAPTER38

theywereinthecaveandthemenwerestandingbeforethefiremariawasfanning.pilarhadcoffeereadyinapot.shehadnotgonebacktobedatallsinceshehadrousedrobertjordanandnowshewassittingonastoolinthesmokycavesewingtheripinoneofjordan’spacks.theotherpackwasalreadysewed.thefirelightlitupherface.

“takemoreofthestew,”shesaidtofernando.“whatdoesitmatterifthybellyshouldbefull?thereisnodoctortooperateifyoutakeagoring.”“don’tspeakthatway,woman,”agustinsaid.“thouhastthetongueofthegreatwhore.”

hewasleaningontheautomaticrifle,itslegsfoldedcloseagainstthefrettedbarrel,hispocketswerefullofgrenades,asackofpanshungfromoneshoulder,andafullbandolierofammunitionhungovertheothershoulder.hewassmokingacigaretteandheheldabowlofcoffeeinonehandandblewsmokeontoitssurfaceasheraisedittohislips.

“thouartawalkinghardwarestore,”pilarsaidtohim.“thoucanstnotwalkahundredyardswithallthat.”

“quéva,woman,”agustinsaid.“itisalldownhill.”

“thereisaclimbtothepost,”fernandosaid.“beforethedownwardslopecommences.”

“iwillclimbitlikeagoat,”agustinsaid.

“andthybrother?”heaskedeladio.“thyfamousbrotherhasmuckedoff?”

eladiowasstandingagainstthewall.

“shutup,”hesaid.

hewasnervousandheknewtheyallknewit.hewasalwaysnervousandirritablebeforeaction.hemovedfromthewalltothetableandbeganfillinghispocketswithgrenadesfromoneoftherawhide-coveredpanniersthatleaned,open,againstthetableleg.

robertjordansquattedbythepannierbesidehim.hereachedintothepannierandpickedoutfourgrenades.threeweretheovalmillbombtype,serrated,heavyironwithaspringlevelhelddowninpositionbyacotterpinwithpullingrigattached.

“wheredidthesecomefrom?”heaskedeladio.

“those?thosearefromtherepublic.theoldmanbroughtthem.”

“howarethey?”

“valenmásquepesan,”eladiosaid.“theyareworthafortuneapiece.”

“ibroughtthose,”anselmosaid.“sixtyinonepack.ninetypounds,inglé.”

“haveyouusedthose?”robertjordanaskedpilar.

““quéva,haveweusedthem?”thewomansaid.“itwaswiththosepabloslewthepostatotero.”

whenshementionedpablo,agustinstartedcursing.robertjordansawthelookonpilar’sfaceinthefirelight.

“leaveit,”shesaidtoagustinsharply.“itdoesnogoodtotalk.”

“havetheyalwaysexploded?”robertjordanheldthegraypaintedgrenadeinhishand,tryingthebendofthecotterpinwithhisthumbnail.

“always,”eladiosaid.“therewasnotadudinanyofthatlotweused.”

“andhowquickly?”

“inthedistanceonecanthrowit.quickly.quicklyenough.”

“andthese?”

heheldupasoup-tin-shapedbomb,withatapewrappingaroundawireloop.

“theyareagarbage,”eladiotoldhim.“theyblow.yes.butitisallflashandnofragments.”

“butdotheyalwaysblow?”

“quéva,always,”pilarsaid.“thereisnoalwayseitherwithourmunitionsortheirs.”

“butyousaidtheotheralwaysblew.”

“notme,”pilartoldhim.“youaskedanother,notme.ihaveseennoalwaysinanyofthatstuff.”

“theyallblew,”eladioinsisted.“speakthetruth,woman.”

“howdoyouknowtheyallblew?”pilaraskedhim.“itwaspablowhothrewthem.youkillednooneatotero.”

“thatsonofthegreatwhore,”agustinbegan.

“leaveitalone,”pilarsaidsharply.thenshewenton.“theyareallmuchthesame,inglé.butthecorrugatedonesaremoresimple.”

i’dbetteruseoneofeachoneachset,robertjordanthought.buttheserratedtypewilllasheasierandmoresecurely.

“areyougoingtobethrowingbombs,inglés?”agustinasked.

“whynot?”robertjordansaid.

butcrouchedthere,sortingoutthegrenades,whathewasthinkingwas:itisimpossible.howicouldhavedeceivedmyselfaboutitidonotknow.wewereassunkwhentheyattackedsordoassordowassunkwhenthesnowstopped.itisthatyoucan’tacceptit.youhavetogoonandmakeaplanthatyouknowisimpossibletocarryout.youmadeitandnowyouknowitisnogood.it’snogood,now,inthemorning.youcantakeeitherofthepostsabsolutelyo.k.withwhatyou’vegothere.butyoucan’ttakethemboth.youcan’tbesureofit,imean.don’tdeceiveyourself.notwhenthedaylightcomes.

tryingtotakethembothwillneverwork.pabloknewthatallthetime.isupposehealwaysintendedtomuckoffbutheknewwewerecookedwhensordowasattacked.youcan’tbaseanoperationonthepresumptionthatmiraclesaregoingtohappen.youwillkillthemalloffandnotevengetyourbridgeblownifyouhavenothingbetterthanwhatyouhavenow.youwillkilloffpilar,anselmo,agustin,primitivo,thisjumpyeladio,theworthlessgypsyandoldfernando,andyouwon’tgetyourbridgeblown.doyousupposetherewillbeamiracleandgolzwillgetthemessagefromandréandstopit?ifthereisn’t,youaregoingtokillthemalloffwiththoseorders.mariatoo.you’llkillhertoowiththoseorders.can’tyouevengetheroutofit?goddamnpablotohell,hethought.

no.don’tgetangry.gettingangryisasbadasgettingscared.butinsteadofsleepingwithyourgirlyoushouldhaveriddenallnightthroughthesehillswiththewomantotrytodigupenoughpeopletomakeitwork.yes,hethought.andifanythinghappenedtomesoiwasnotheretoblowit.yes.that.that’swhyyouweren’tout.andyoucouldn’tsendanybodyoutbecauseyoucouldn’trunachanceoflosingthemandbeingshortonemore.youhadtokeepwhatyouhadandmakeaplantodoitwiththem.

butyourplanstinks.itstinks,itellyou.itwasanightplanandit’smorningnow.nightplansaren’tanygoodinthemorning.thewayyouthinkatnightisnogoodinthemorning.sonowyouknowitisnogood.

whatifjohnmosbydidgetawaywiththingsasimpossibleasthis?surehedid.muchmoredifficult.andremember,donotundervaluatetheelementofsurprise.rememberthat.rememberitisn’tgoofyifyoucanmakeitstick.butthatisnotthewayyouaresupposedtomakeit.youshouldmakeitnotonlypossiblebutsure.butlookathowitallhasgone.well,itwaswronginthefirstplaceandsuchthingsaccentuatedisasterasasnowballrollsupwetsnow.

helookedupfromwherehewassquattedbythetableandsawmariaandshesmiledathim.hegrinnedbackwiththefrontofhisfaceandselectedfourmoregrenadesandputtheminhispockets.icouldunscrewthedetonatorsandjustusethem,hethought.butidon’tthinkthefragmentationwillhaveanybadeffect.itwillcomeinstantaneouslywiththeexplosionofthechargeanditwon’tdisperseit.atleast,idon’tthinkitwill.i’msureitwon’t.havealittleconfidence,hetoldhimself.andyou,lastnight,thinkingabouthowyouandyourgrandfatherweresoterrificandyourfatherwasacoward.showyourselfalittleconfidencenow.

hegrinnedatmariaagainbutthegrinwasstillnodeeperthantheskinthatfelttightoverhischeekbonesandhismouth.

shethinksyou’rewonderful,hethought.ithinkyoustink.andthegloriaandallthatnonsensethatyouhad.youhadwonderfulideas,didn’tyou?youhadthisworldalltaped,didn’tyou?thehellwithallofthat.

takeiteasy,hetoldhimself.don’tgetintoarage.that’sjustawayouttoo.therearealwayswaysout.you’vegottobiteonthenailnow.thereisn’tanyneedtodenyeverythingthere’sbeenjustbecauseyouaregoingtoloseit.don’tbelikesomedamnedsnakewithabrokenbackbitingatitself;andyourbackisn’tbrokeneither,youhound.waituntilyou’rehurtbeforeyoustarttocry.waituntilthefightbeforeyougetangry.there’slotsoftimeforitinafight.itwillbesomeusetoyouinafight.

pilarcameovertohimwiththebag.

“itisstrongnow,”shesaid.“thosegrenadesareverygood,inglé.youcanhaveconfidenceinthem.”