CHAPTER10

“letusrest,”pilarsaidtorobertjordan.“sitdownhere,maria,andletusrest.”“weshouldcontinue,”robertjordansaid.“restwhenwegetthere.imustseethisman.”

“youwillseehim,”thewomantoldhim.“thereisnohurry.sitdownhere,maria.”

“comeon,”robertjordansaid.“restatthetop.”

“irestnow,”thewomansaid,andsatdownbythestream.thegirlsatbyherintheheather,thesunshiningonherhair.onlyrobertjordanstoodlookingacrossthehighmountainmeadowwiththetroutbrookrunningthroughit.therewasheathergrowingwherehestood.thereweregraybouldersrisingfromtheyellowbrackenthatreplacedtheheatherinthelowerpartofthemeadowandbelowwasthedarklineofthepines.

“howfarisittoelsordo’s?”heasked.

“notfar,”thewomansaid.“itisacrossthisopencountry,downintothenextvalleyandabovethetimberattheheadofthestream.sittheedownandforgetthyseriousness.”

“iwanttoseehimandgetitoverwith.”

“iwanttobathemyfeet,”thewomansaidand,takingoffherrope-soledshoesandpullingoffaheavywoolstocking,sheputherrightfootintothestream.“mygod,it’scold.”

“weshouldhavetakenhorses,”robertjordantoldher.

“thisisgoodforme,”thewomansaid.“thisiswhatihavebeenmissing.what’sthematterwithyou?”

“nothing,exceptthatiaminahurry.”

“thencalmyourself.thereismuchtime.whatadayitisandhowiamcontentednottobeinpinetrees.youcannotimaginehowonecantireofpinetrees.aren’tyoutiredofthepines,guapa?”

“ilikethem,”thegirlsaid.

“whatcanyoulikeaboutthem?”

“iliketheodorandthefeeloftheneedlesunderfoot.ilikethewindinthehightreesandthecreakingtheymakeagainsteachother.”

“youlikeanything,”pilarsaid.“youareagifttoanymanifyoucouldcookalittlebetter.butthepinetreemakesaforestofboredom.thouhastneverknownaforestofbeech,norofoak,norofchestnut.thoseareforests.insuchforestseachtreediffersandthereischaracterandbeauty.aforestofpinetreesisboredom.whatdoyousay,inglé?”

“ilikethepines,too.”

“pero,venga,”pilarsaid.“twoofyou.sodoilikethepines,butwehavebeentoolonginthesepines.alsoiamtiredofthemountains.inmountainsthereareonlytwodirections.downandupanddownleadsonlytotheroadandthetownsofthefascists.”

“doyouevergotosegovia?”

“quéva.withthisface?thisisafacethatisknown.howwouldyouliketobeugly,beautifulone?”shesaidtomaria.

“thouartnotugly.”

“vamos,i’mnotugly.iwasbornugly.allmylifeihavebeenugly.you,inglé,whoknownothingaboutwomen.doyouknowhowanuglywomanfeels?doyouknowwhatitistobeuglyallyourlifeandinsidetofeelthatyouarebeautiful?itisveryrare,”sheputtheotherfootinthestream,thenremovedit.“god,it’scold.lookatthewaterwagtail,”shesaidandpointedtothegrayballofabirdthatwasbobbingupanddownonastoneupthestream.“thosearenogoodforanything.neithertosingnortoeat.onlytojerktheirtailsupanddown.givemeacigarette,inglé,”shesaidandtakingit,lititfromaflintandsteellighterinthepocketofherskirt.shepuffedonthecigaretteandlookedatmariaandrobertjordan.

“lifeisverycurious,”shesaid,andblewsmokefromhernostrils.“iwouldhavemadeagoodman,butiamallwomanandallugly.yetmanymenhavelovedmeandihavelovedmanymen.itiscurious.listen,inglé,thisisinteresting.lookatme,asuglyasiam.lookclosely,inglé.”

“thouartnotugly.”

“quéno?don’tlietome.or,”shelaughedthedeeplaugh.“hasitbeguntoworkwiththee?no.thatisajoke.no.lookattheugliness.yetonehasafeelingwithinonethatblindsamanwhilehelovesyou.you,withthatfeeling,blindhim,andblindyourself.thenoneday,fornoreason,heseesyouuglyasyoureallyareandheisnotblindanymoreandthenyouseeyourselfasuglyasheseesyouandyouloseyourmanandyourfeeling.doyouunderstand,guapa?”shepattedthegirlontheshoulder.

“no,”saidmaria.“becausethouartnotugly.”

“trytousethyheadandnotthyheart,andlisten,”pilarsaid.“iamtellingyouthingsofmuchinterest.doesitnotinterestyou,inglé?”

“yes.butweshouldgo.”

“quéva,go.iamverywellhere.then,”shewenton,addressingherselftorobertjordannowasthoughshewerespeakingtoaclassroom;almostasthoughshewerelecturing.“afterawhile,whenyouareasuglyasiam,asuglyaswomencanbe,then,asisay,afterawhilethefeeling,theidioticfeelingthatyouarebeautiful,growsslowlyinoneagain.itgrowslikeacabbage.andthen,whenthefeelingisgrown,anothermanseesyouandthinksyouarebeautifulanditisalltodoover.nowithinkiampastit,butitstillmightcome.youarelucky,guapa,thatyouarenotugly.”

“butiamugly,”mariainsisted.

“askhim,”saidpilar.“anddon’tputthyfeetinthestreambecauseitwillfreezethem.”

“ifrobertosaysweshouldgo,ithinkweshouldgo,”mariasaid.

“listentoyou,”pilarsaid.“ihaveasmuchatstakeinthisasthyrobertoandisaythatwearewelloffrestingherebythestreamandthatthereismuchtime.furthermore,iliketotalk.itistheonlycivilizedthingwehave.howotherwisecanwedivertourselves?doeswhatisaynotholdinterestforyou,inglé?”

“youspeakverywell.butthereareotherthingsthatinterestmemorethantalkofbeautyorlackofbeauty.”

“thenletustalkofwhatintereststhee.”

“wherewereyouatthestartofthemovement?”

“inmytown.”

“avila?”

“quéva,avila.”

“pablosaidhewasfromavila.”

“helies.hewantedtotakeabigcityforhistown.itwasthistown,”andshenamedatown.

“andwhathappened?”

“much,”thewomansaid.“much.andallofitugly.eventhatwhichwasglorious.”

“tellmeaboutit,”robertjordansaid.

“itisbrutal,”thewomansaid.“idonotliketotellitbeforethegirl.”

“tellit,”saidrobertjordan.“andifitisnotforher,thatsheshouldnotlisten.”

“icanhearit,”mariasaid.sheputherhandonrobertjordan’s.“thereisnothingthaticannothear.”

“itisn’twhetheryoucanhearit,”pilarsaid.“itiswhetherishouldtellittotheeandmaketheebaddreams.”

“iwillnotgetbaddreamsfromastory,”mariatoldher.“youthinkafterallthathashappenedwithusishouldgetbaddreamsfromastory?”

“maybeitwillgivetheinglébaddreams.”