第566章

第566章theterriblenewsofthebattleofborodino,ofourlossesinkilledandwounded,andtheevenmoreterriblenewsofthelossofmoscowreachedvoronezhinthemiddleofseptember.princessmarya,learningofherbrother’swoundonlyfromthenewspapers,andhavingnodefiniteinformationabouthim,waspreparing（sonikolayheard,thoughhehadnotseenher）tosetofftotryandreachprinceandrey.

onhearingthenewsofthebattleofborodinoandoftheabandonmentofmoscow,rostovfelt,notdespair,rage,revenge,noranysuchfeeling,butasuddenwearinessandvexationwitheverythingatvoronezh,andasenseofawkwardnessanduneasyconscience.alltheconversationshelistenedtoseemedtohiminsincere;hedidnotknowwhattothinkofitall,andfeltthatonlyintheregimentwouldallbecomecleartohimagain.hemadehastetoconcludethepurchaseofhorses,andwasoftenwithoutgoodcauseill-temperedwithhisservantandquarter-master.

severaldaysbeforerostov’sdeparturetherewasathanksgivingserviceinthecathedralforthevictorygainedbytherussiantroops,andnikolaywenttotheservice.hewasalittlebehindthegovernor,andwasstandingthroughtheservicemeditatingwithbefittingsedatenessonthemostvarioussubjects.whentheservicewasconcluding,thegovernor’swifebeckonedhimtoher.

“didyouseetheprincess？”shesaid,withamotionofherhandtowardsaladyinblackstandingbehindthechoir.

nikolayrecognisedprincessmaryaatonce,notsomuchfromtheprofilehesawunderherhatasfromthefeelingofwatchfulsolicitude,awe,andpitywhichcameoverhimatonce.princessmarya,obviouslyburiedinherownthoughts,wasmakingthelastsignsofthecrossbeforeleavingthechurch.

nikolaygazedinwonderatherface.itwasthesamefacehehadseenbefore;therewasthesamegenerallookofrefined,inner,spiritualtravail;butnowtherewasanutterlydifferentlightinit.therewasatouchingexpressionofsadness,ofprayerandofhopeinit.withthesameabsenceofhesitationashehadfeltbeforeinherpresence,withoutwaitingforthegovernor’swifetourgehim,withoutaskinghimselfwhetheritwereright,whetheritwereproperforhimtoaddressherhereinchurch,nikolaywentuptoher,andsaidhehadheardofhertroubleandgrievedwithhiswholehearttohearofit.assoonassheheardhisvoice,avividcolourglowedinherface,lightingupatonceherjoyandhersorrow.

“onethingiwantedtotellyou,princess,”saidrostov,“thatis,thatifprinceandreynikolaevitchwerenotliving,sinceheisacolonel,itwouldbeannouncedimmediatelyinthegazettes.”

theprincesslookedathim,notcomprehendinghiswords,butcomfortedbytheexpressionofsympatheticsufferinginhisface.

“andiknowfromsomanyinstancesthatawoundfromasplinter”（thepaperssaiditwasfromagrenade）“iseitherimmediatelyfatalorelseveryslight,”nikolaywenton.“wemusthopeforthebest,andiamcertain…”

princessmaryainterruptedhim.

“oh,itwouldbesoaw…”shebegan,andheremotionchokingherutterance,shebentherheadwithagracefulgesture,likeeverythingshedidinhispresence,andglancinggratefullyathimfollowedheraunt.

thateveningnikolaydidnotgooutanywhere,butstayedathometofinishsomeaccountswiththehorse-vendors.bythetimehehadfinishedhisworkitwasratherlatetogooutanywhere,butstillearlytogotobed,andnikolayspentalongwhilewalkingupanddowntheroom,thinkingoverhislife,athingthatherarelydid.

princessmaryahadmadeanagreeableimpressiononhimatbogutcharovo.thefactofhismeetinghertheninsuchstrikingcircumstances,andofhismotherhavingatonetimepitchedpreciselyonherasthewealthyheiresssuitableforhim,hadledhimtolookatherwithspecialattention.duringhisstayatvoronezh,thatimpressionhadbecome,notmerelyapleasing,butaverystrongone.nikolaywasimpressedbythepeculiar,moralbeautywhichhediscernedinheratthistime.hehad,however,beenpreparingtogoaway,andithadnotenteredhisheadtoregretthatinleavingvoronezhhewaslosingallchanceofseeingher.buthismeetingwithprincessmaryathatmorninginchurchhad,nikolayfelt,gonemoredeeplytohisheartthanhehadanticipatedandmoredeeplythanhedesiredforhispeaceofmind.thatpale,delicate,melancholyface,thoseluminouseyes,thosesoft,graciousgestures,and,aboveall,thedeepandtendermelancholyexpressedinallherfeatures,agitatedhimanddrewhissympathy.inmenrostovcouldnotbearanappearanceofhigher,spirituallife（itwaswhyhedidnotlikeprinceandrey）,hespokeofitcontemptuouslyasphilosophy,idealism;butinprincessmaryaitwasjustinthatmelancholy,showingallthedepthofaspiritualworld,strangeandremotetonikolay,thathefoundanirresistibleattraction.