第563章

第563章“notatallso,”saidnikolay,asthoughoffendedattheidea.“asforme,matante,asasoldiershould,idon’tforcemyselfonanyone,norrefuseanythingthatturnsup,”saidrostov,beforehehadtimetoconsiderwhathewassaying.

“sorememberthen;thisisnojestingmatter.”

“howcoulditbe！”

“yes,yes,”saidthegovernor’swife,asthoughtalkingtoherself.“andentreautres,moncher,youaretooassiduouswiththeother—theblonde.onefeelssorryforthehusband,really…”

“ohno,wearequitefriendly,”saidnikolayinthesimplicityofhisheart：ithadneveroccurredtohimthatsuchanagreeablepastimeforhimcouldbeotherthanagreeabletoanyoneelse.

“whatastupidthingisaidtothegovernor’swifethough！”suddenlycameintonikolay’smindatsupper.“shereallywillbegintoarrangeamatch,andsonya？…”

andontakingleaveofthegovernor’swife,asshesaidtohimoncemorewithasmile,“well,rememberthen,”hedrewheraside.

“butthereissomething…totellyouthetruth,matante…”

“whatisit,whatisit,mydear？come,letussitdownhere.”

nikolayhadasuddendesire,anirresistibleimpulsetotalkofallhismostsecretfeelings（suchashewouldneverhavespokenoftohismother,tohissister,toanintimatefriend）tothiswoman,whowasalmostastranger.whenevernikolaythoughtafterwardsofthisuncalled-foroutburstsofinexplicablefrankness—thoughithadmostimportantconsequencesforhim—itseemedtohim（asitalwaysseemstopeopleinsuchcases）thatithadhappenedbychance,throughasuddenfitoffolly.butatthesametimethisoutburstoffrankness,togetherwithotherinsignificantevents,hadconsequencesofimmenseimportancetohimandtoallhisfamily.

“it’slikethis,matante.ithaslongbeenmaman’swishtomarrymetoanheiress;butthemereideaofit—marryingformoney—isrevoltingtome.”

“ohyes,icanunderstandthat,”saidthegovernor’swife.

“butprincessbolkonsky,that’sadifferentmatter.inthefirstplace,i’lltellyouthetruth,ilikeherverymuch,ifeeldrawntoher,andthen,eversinceicameacrossherinsuchaposition,sostrangely,ithasoftenstruckme,thatitwasfate.onlythink：mammahaslongbeendreamingofit,butihadneverhappenedtomeetherbefore—italwayssohappenedthatwedidn’tmeet.andthenwhenmysister,natasha,wasengagedtoherbrother,ofcourseitwasimpossibletothinkofamatchbetweenusthen.itseemsitwastohappenthatimetherfirstjustwhennatasha’sengagementhadbeenbrokenoff;andwell,everythingafterwards…soyouseehowitis.ihaveneversaidallthistoanyone,andinevershall.ionlysayittoyou.”

thegovernor’swifepressedhiselbowgratefully.

“doyouknowsophie,mycousin？iloveher;ihavepromisedtomarryher,andiamgoingtomarryher…soyouseeit’snousetalkingofsuchathing,”nikolayconcludedlamely,flushingcrimson.

“mydearestboy,howcanyoutalkso？why,sophiehasn’tafarthing,andyoutoldmeyourselfthatyourpapa’saffairsareterriblystraitened.andyourmaman？itwouldkillher—foronething.thensophie,ifsheisagirlofanyheart,whatalifeitwouldbeforher！yourmotherindespair,yourpositionruined…no,mydear,sophieandyououghttorealisethat.”

nikolaydidnotspeak.itwascomfortingtohimtohearthesearguments.

“allthesame,matante,itcannotbe,”hesaid,withasigh,afterabriefsilence.“andbesideswouldtheprincessacceptme？andagainsheisinmourning;cansuchathingbethoughtof？”

“why,doyousupposeiamgoingtomarryyououtofhandonthespot？therearewaysofdoingeverything,”saidthegovernor’swife.

“whatamatch-makeryouare,matante…”saidnikolay,kissingherplumplittlehand.