第393章

第393章atthebeginningofjulytherumoursastotheprogressofthewarcurrentinmoscowbecamemoreandmorealarming;andtherewastalkofthetsar’sappealtothepeople,andthetsarhimselfwassaidtobecomingfromthearmytomoscow.andasuptothe11thofjulythemanifestoandappealtothepeoplehadnotbeenreceived,themosteratedreportsaboutthemandthepositionofrussiawerecommon.itwassaidthatthetsarwascomingawaybecausethearmywasindanger;itwassaidthatsmolenskhadsurrendered;thatnapoleonhadmillionsoftroops,andthatnothingshortofamiraclecouldsaverussia.

onsaturday,the11thofjuly,themanifestowasreceived,butwasnotyetinprint;andpierre,whohappenedtobeattherostovs’,promisedtocomenextday,sunday,todinner,andtobringthemanifesto,whichhecouldobtainfromcountrastoptchin.

thatsundaytherostovsattendedserviceasusualintheprivatechapeloftherazumovskys.itwasahotjulyday.evenbyteno’clock,whentherostovsgotoutoftheircarriagebeforethechapel,thesultryair,theshoutsofthestreethawkers,thegay,lightsummerdressesofthecrowd,thedustyleavesofthetreesontheboulevard,themartialmusicandwhitetrousersofthebattalionmarchingbytoparade,therattleofthepavements,andthebrilliant,hotsunshine,wereallfullofthatsummerlanguor,thatcontentanddiscontentwiththepresent,whichisfeltparticularlyvividlyonabright,hotdayintown.allthefashionableworldofmoscow,alltherostovs’acquaintanceswereinthechapel.agreatnumberofwealthyfamilies,whousuallyspentthesummerinthecountry,werestayingoninmoscowthatyear,asthoughinvagueanticipationofsomething.

asnatashawalkedbesidehermother,behindafootmaninlivery,whomadewayforthemthroughthecrowd,sheheardthevoiceofsomeyoungmanspeakingintooloudawhisperabouther：

“that’stheyoungcountessrostov,theverygirl！”

“she’seversomuchthinner,butstillpretty！”shecaught,andfanciedthatthenamesofkuraginandbolkonskywerementioned.butthatwasalwayshappening.shewasalwaysfancyingthatanyonewholookedathercouldbethinkingofnothingbutwhathappenedtoher.withasinkingheart,wretchedasshealwayswasnowinacrowd,natasha,inherlilacsilkdress,trimmedwithblacklace,walkedon,asonlywomenknowhowtodo,withanairofeaseanddignityallthegreaterforthepainandshameinherheart.sheknewforafactthatshewaspretty,butthatdidnotgiveherpleasurenow,asonceithad.onthecontrary,ithadbeenasourceofmoremiserythananythingoflate,andespeciallysoonthisbright,hotsummerdayintown.“anothersunday,anotherweek,”shesaidtoherself,recallinghowshehadbeenhereonthatmemorablesunday;“andstillthesamelifethatisnolife,andstillthesamecircumstancesinwhichlifeusedtoseemsoeasyonce.youngandpretty,andiknowthatnowiamgood,andbeforeiwaswicked！butnowiamgood,”shemused,“butyetthebestyears,thebestofmylife,areallbeingwasted,andnogoodtoanyone.”shestoodbyhermother’sside,andnoddedtotheacquaintanceswhowerestandingnear.fromforceofhabitnatashascrutinisedthedressesoftheladies,andcriticisedthetenueofaladystandingnearher,andtheawkwardandcrampedwayinwhichshewascrossingherself.thenshethoughtwithvexationthatshewasherselfbeingcriticisedagain,andwascriticisingothers;andatthefirstsoundsoftheserviceshewashorrifiedathersinfulness,horrifiedthatherpurityofheartshouldbelostagain.

ahandsome,clean-lookingoldpriestreadtheservicewiththemildsolemnitythathassuchanelevatingandsoothingeffectonthesoulsofthosewhopray.thesanctuarydoorswereclosed,thecurtainwasslowlydrawn,andavoice,mysteriouslysubdued,utteredsomewordfromit.tears,thatshecouldnotherselfhaveexplained,rosetonatasha’seyes,andafeelingofjoyfulagitationcameuponher.

“teachmewhattodo,howtolivemylife,howtoconquermysinsforever,forever！”…sheprayed.thedeaconcameouttothestepsbeforethealtarscreen;withhisthumbheldoutapartfromtherest,hepulledhislonghairoutfromunderhissurplice,andlayingthecrossonhisbreast,hebeganinaloudvoicesolemnlyreadingtheprayer：

“asonecommunityletuspraytothelord.”

“asonecommunity,alltogetherwithoutdistinctionofclass,freefromenmity,allunitedinbrotherlylove,letuspray,”thoughtnatasha.

“fortheworldaboveandthesalvationofoursouls！”

“fortheworldofangelsandthesoulsofallspiritualbeingswholiveaboveus,”prayednatasha.