第339章

第339章“donotbelieve,though,”shewrote,“thatmyfatherisill-disposedtoyou.heisanoldmanandaninvalid,forwhomonemustmakeexcuses.butheisgood-heartedandgenerous,andwillcometolovethewomanwhomakeshissonhappy.”princessmaryaednatasha,too,tofixatimewhenshemightseeheragain.

afterreadingtheletter,natashasatdowntothewriting-tabletoanswerit.“dearprincess,”shebegan,writingrapidlyandmechanicallyinfrench,andthereshestopped.whatmorecouldshewriteafterwhathadhappenedthedaybefore？“yes,yes,allthathadhappened,andnoweverythingwasdifferent,”shethought,sittingbeforethelettershehadbegun.“mustirefusehim？mustireally？that’sawful！…”andtoavoidthesehorriblethoughts,shewentintosonya,andbeganlookingthroughembroiderydesignswithher.

afterdinnernatashawenttoherownroomandtookupprincessmarya’sletteragain.“caneverythingbeover？”shethought.“canallthishavehappenedsoquicklyandhavedestroyedallthatwentbefore？”sherecalledinallitspaststrengthherloveforprinceandrey,andatthesametimeshefeltthatshelovedkuragin.shevividlypicturedherselfthewifeofprinceandrey,ofherhappinesswithhim,calledupthepictureshehadsooftendweltoninherimagination,andatthesametime,allaglowwithemotion,sherecalledeverydetailofherinterviewthepreviouseveningwithanatole.

“whycouldnotthatbeaswell？”shewonderedsometimesincompletebewilderment.“it’sonlysothaticouldbeperfectlyhappy：asitis,ihavetochoose,andwithouteitherofthemican’tbehappy.there’sonething,”shethought,“totellprinceandreywhathashappened;tohideitfromhim—areequallyimpossible.butwithhimnothingisspoilt.butcanipartforeverfromthehappinessofprinceandrey’slove,whichihavebeenlivingonforsolong？”

“madame,”whisperedamaid,comingintotheroomwithamysteriousair,“amantoldmetogiveyouthis.”thegirlgaveheraletter.“onlyforchrist’ssake…”saidthegirl,asnatasha,withoutthinking,mechanicallybrokethesealandbeganreadingalove-letterfromanatole,ofwhichshedidnotunderstandaword,butunderstoodonlythatitwasaletterfromhim,fromthemanwhomsheloved.“yes,shelovedhim;otherwise,howcouldwhathadhappenedhavehappened？howcouldalove-letterfromhimbeinherhand？”

withtremblinghandsnatashaheldthatpassionatelove-letter,composedforanatolebydolohov,andasshereadit,shefoundinitechoesofallthatitseemedtohershewasfeelingherself.

“sinceyesterdayeveningmyfateissealed：tobelovedbyyouortodie.thereisnothingelseleftforme,”theletterbegan.thenhewrotethatheknewherrelationswouldnevergivehertohim,toanatole;thatthereweresecretreasonsforthatwhichhecouldonlyrevealtoheralone;butthatifshelovedhim,shehadbuttoutterthewordyes,andnohumanforcecouldhindertheirhappiness.lovewouldconquerall.hecouldcaptureherandbearherawaytotheendsoftheearth.

“yes,yes,ilovehim！”thoughtnatasha,readingtheletteroverforthetwentiethtime,andfindingsomespecialdeepmeaningineveryword.

thateveningmaryadmitryevnawasgoingtothearharovs’,andproposedtakingtheyoungladieswithher.natashapleadedaheadacheandstayedathome.