第303章

第303章“mygod！mygod！alwaysthesame.oh,whereamitogo？whatamitodowithmyself？”andsheranrapidlyupstairs,tappingwithhershoes,toseevogelandhiswife,whohadroomsonthetopfloor.thetwogovernessesweresittingwiththevogelsandonthetablewereplatesofraisins,walnuts,andalmonds.thegovernesseswerediscussingthequestionwhichwasthecheapertowntolivein,moscoworodessa.natashasatdown,listenedtotheirtalkwithaseriousanddreamyface,andgotup.“theislandmadagascar,”shesaid.“mada-ga-scar,”sherepeated,articulatingeachsyllabledistinctly;andmakingnoreplytomadameschoss’sinquiryintohermeaning,shewentoutoftheroom.

petya,herbrother,wasupstairstoo.hewasengagedwithhistutormakingfireworkstoletoffthatnight.

“petya！petya！”sheshoutedtohim,“carrymedownstairs.”petyarantoherandofferedherhisback,andheprancedalongwithher.“no,enough.theislandmadagascar,”sherepeated,andjumpingoffhisbackshewentdownstairs.

havingasitwerereviewedherkingdom,triedherpower,andmadesurethatallweresubmissive,butyetthatshewasdull,natashawentintothebighall,tookuptheguitar,andsatdownwithitinadarkcornerbehindabookcase.shebeganfingeringthestringsinthebass,pickingoutaphrasesherecalledfromanoperashehadheardinpetersburgwithprinceandrey.forotherlistenersthesoundsthatcamefromherguitarwouldhavehadnosortofmeaning,butthesesoundscalledupinherimaginationawholeseriesofreminiscences.shesatbehindthebookcasewithhereyesfixedonastreakoflightthatfellfromthecrackinthepantrydoor,andlistenedtoherselfandrecalledthepast.shewasinthemoodforbroodingovermemories.

sonyacrossedthehall,andwentintothepantrywithaglassinherhand.natashaglancedatherthroughthecrackinthepantrydoor,anditseemedtoherthatsherememberedthelightfallingthroughthecrackinthepantrydoor,andsonyapassingwiththeglassinjustthesameway.“yes,anditwasexactlythesameineverydetail,”thoughtnatasha.

“sonya,whatisthis？”callednatasha,twangingthethickcordwithherfingers.

“oh,areyouthere？”saidsonyastarting,andshecameupandlistened.“idon’tknow.astorm？”shesaidtimidly,afraidofbeingwrong.

“why,shestartedinjustthesameway,andcameupandsmiledthesametimidsmilewhenitallhappenedbefore,”thoughtnatasha;“andjustinthesameway,too.…ithoughttherewassomethingwantinginher.”

“no,it’sthechorusfromthe‘watercarrier,’listen.”andnatashahummedtheairofthechorus,sothatsonyamightcatchit.“wherewereyougoing？”askednatasha.

“tochangethewaterinmyglass.iamjustfinishingcolouringthedesign.”

“youalwaysfindsomethingtodo,butican’t,youknow,”saidnatasha.“andwhere’snikolenka？”

“ithinkhe’sasleep.”

“sonya,dogoandwakehim,”saidnatasha.“tellhimiwanthimtosingwithme.”

shesatalittlelonger,ponderingonwhatwasthemeaningofitsallhavinghappenedbefore,andnotsolvingthatquestion,andnotintheleastchagrinedatbeingunabletodoso,shepassedagaininherimaginationtothetimewhenshewaswithhim,andhegazedatherwitheyesoflove.

“oh,ifhewouldcomequickly！i’msoafraiditwillnevercome！andworstofall,i’mgettingolder,that’sthething.therewon’tbeinmewhatthereisinmenow.perhapsheiscomingto-day,willbehereimmediately.perhapshehascome,andissittingthereinthedrawing-room.perhapshedidcomeyesterday,andihaveforgotten.”shegotup,putdownherguitar,andwentintotheparlour.alltheirdomesticcircle,tutors,governesses,andguestsweresittingatthetea-table.theservantswerestandingroundthetable.butprinceandreywasnotthere,andthesameoldlifewasstillgoingon.

“heresheis,”saidthecount,seeingnatashacomingin.“come,sitbyme.”butnatashastayedbyhermother,lookingaboutherasthoughseekingforsomething.

“mamma！”shesaid.“givemehim,givemehim,mamma,quickly,quickly,”andagainshecouldhardlysuppresshersobs.shesatdowntothetableandlistenedtothetalkoftheeldersandnikolay,whohadcomeintotea.“mygod,mygod,thesamepeople,thesametalk,papaholdinghiscup,andblowingitjustthesameasalways,”thoughtnatasha,feelingwithhorroranaversionrisingupinherforallherfamily,becausetheywerealwaysthesame.

afterteanikolay,sonya,andnatashawentintothedivan-roomtotheirfavouritecorner,wheretheirmostintimatetalksalwaysbegan.